But it wasn’t just safety I felt in his embrace. It was something more but I was too afraid to face it. Too scared to even name it.

It was so overpowering it was difficult to think of anything when I was in his arms. Even if he had no idea how I felt. Mortified that I was having these thoughts while he was just trying to console me I pulled away.

He released me.

I turned my back on him and tried my best to suppress the feelings that felt like a neon sign in my actions.

“Did I say something wrong?”

I shook my head still refusing to face him.

“What is it?”

His hand touched my shoulder and I sighed deeply, closing my eyes tightly trying to stop the emotions from sweeping me away.

“Hadley?” His voice anxious. I didn’t have it in me to pretend so I turned to face him slowly.

I shrugged slightly, feeling out of depth treading into the territory I had no experience in.

I had been kissed once before but that had been a fumble in the dark. It did not compare to how he made me feel.

He frowned softly touched my face with his fingers. I held my breath, stopping myself from lingering to his touch. All I wanted to do was lose myself in how he made me feel. It was warm, safe, and so far away from reality it gave me peace. I didn’t want to think about every reason to stop. It was crazy, insane and I wanted it so bad.

“Tell me what you’re thinking Hadley,” he prompted.

I wet my lips nervously. How did I put into words the emotions I was struggling with? Was it even a good idea to say anything? I had so little experience in this type of thing. Would it ruin the bond we had between us? Where he made me feel safe and my presence gave him some sort of peace?

“I’m afraid…” My throat felt suddenly so dry and I lowered my eyes, unable to look at him.

“I thought you weren’t scared of me.” He dropped his hand to his side, keeping his distance from me.

It was the last thing I wanted.

“Not of you…it’s how I feel that scares me.”

The warmth of his gaze increased my nervousness.

“What are you feeling?” he asked when I remained silent.

“It’s not easy to put it into words.” My cheeks warmed.

If I had spent any time thinking this through I would have turned and left at that point. But it was my naivety that made me continue.

“Just say it Hadley.”

I swallowed slowly. “He took more than just my friend and my safety. He took everything. He took my future, any chance I had at anything. A life, happiness, everything.”

Jack reached out to take my hand in his. I focussed on our connected hands. His touch was warm and welcoming.

“Say it.” This time he whispered it.

This time I looked up to him. Needing something more to open up.

“I feel so much…when I’m with you.”

There I had said it.

His frowned deepened. “What do you feel?”

Was he leading me down the path to where I would finally be able to admit how I felt about him?

This was crazy. I felt panicking and tried to pull my hand from him but he refused to let me go.

“Don’t,” he murmured.

My eyes found his and I felt the magnetic pull he exerted over me calm my sudden nervousness.

I found myself closer to him, looking up to him.

“I need…,” I murmured, unable to look away from him. Leaning closer, stretching onto my tip toes.

He had no idea what was coming and I wasn’t brave enough to admit it for fear it would scare him off. I quieted and I allowed my instincts to take over.

Momentarily, I closed my eyes and placed my mouth against his. Pressing my mouth to his.

The reality of what I was doing pulled me out of my daze and I pulled away abruptly. His hand still on mine.

There was a moment of shock in his eyes. I lifted my free hand to my lips, where his had been momentarily moments before.

What had I done?

“I…” The enormity of what I had just done began to dawn.

His hand tugged me back into his arms, his hand to the back of my neck pulling me forward and he kissed me.

This time his mouth moved against mine. Hungry and demanding. I held onto him, closing my eyes. Allowing myself to lost myself into the moment.

He angled my mouth to his and traced his tongue against the seam of my lips. It was a rush of heat and I opened my mouth to the thrust of his tongue.

It was like being swept away. All I could do was hold onto him as he deepened the kiss, tangling his tongue with mine.

I pressed up against him, needing more. His physical touch. I didn’t need any experience to know that I wanted him a way I never had anyone else.

He put his arms around me, pulling my body flush against his. His hard, where mine was soft. I slid my hands to curl against the hair at the back of his neck.

The dance of his mouth against mine made me groan.

And then as suddenly as it started it ended.

I was standing, swaying. Cooling where there had been volcanic heat.

He stood a few feet back, his hand through his hair.

“That…”

I swallowed, still trying to piece what had happened together to make sense of things.

He shook his head. “That should not have happened.”

My heart fell, splattering against the hard floor. It felt like I had been suck punched and I was gasping for breath.

We had crossed a line we could never uncross. I could never look at him again without remembering what we had just done.

I put my hand to my head, still reeling.

The physical reaction I could still feel amongst the swirl of emotion.

I should have turned and walked away, taking shelter in my room but the events had bolstered something in me. Giving me confidence. I had kissed him. But more importantly I was slowly realizing, he had kissed me back.

“Why not?” I murmured, studying him.

“Because you’re Hadley, my dead sister’s best friend. I’m supposed to protect you. I have no business doing any of that with you.” His eyes were darker than usual. “I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

I frowned but refused to back down. “Why not? I kissed you first.”

He shook his head. “I don’t know why you did that.”

My gaze went back to his lips, remembering how they felt against mine. The thrust of his tongue quickened my pulse. I swallowed. I wanted him to kiss me again.

“I want you.”

He shook his head.

“You wanted me,” I argued. He couldn’t refute his actions.

“I’m a guy.” His stared was bold and unapologetic.

It was like a slap in the face, I faltered. Horrified.

“Hadley,” he said, realizing he had hurt me.

It had been intentional.

But I headed out the living room and down the passage. Inside my room I closed the door and backed away.

His words made me feel foolish and embarrassed. I wanted nothing to do with him or what had happened between us.

I got into the bed and pulled the covers over me. I just wanted to hide and forget I had crossed a line I never should have.

But even in the sanctuary of my room, I could not forget the intensity of the kiss I had shared with him. It had awakened something in me that I could not ignore.

I wanted him, even though I didn’t want to.

I’m a guy. His worded echoed in my mind. Like it had only happened because I was a woman and that was enough.

I didn’t want any guy, I only wanted him. It was confusing and made little sense.

I had always had a crush on him. That feeling had only intensified when he had saved me when I had feared I would die.

Logic had no place in emotion. The mind had little affect on the heart.

And no matter how much I hated him in that moment. I wanted him more than I ever had before.