“Hadley.”

I refused to answer Jack, crossing my arms stubbornly. I was holed up in my old room in my parents house, refusing to come out.

He had lied to me.

I had been prepared to face my parents, not his. Not after all they had said to me.

It didn’t matter their reasoning. Their heartbreak tangible. To the young me who was struggling to make sense of what happened, it had been devastating. Their reaction only added to my already growing guilt that somehow I should have been able to save Alice. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t remember enough to understand what had happened.

“I’m sorry,” Jack said softly. I heard him sigh. Long and deep. “I pushed you too hard.”

“I trusted you…” I felt the emotion well up inside of me. Swallowing hard to keep it inside. I turned my back on the door, needing to get out there so bad but the only escape was my bedroom window.

A window I had climbed out a few times. I eyed it. It was an escape. My only one.

I hesitated.

“Please open the door Hadley. Let me in.”

I closed my eyes as his voice touched me in a way that was difficult to resist but I could not face his parents. I wasn’t strong enough.

“I need a minute,” I told him, moving to the window. Peering down outside.

I had climbed out a few times. It wasn’t that difficult. Going back downstairs to wasn’t an option.

“Sure, I’ll be back in five minutes.”

There was a heaviness in his voice that made me feel slightly guilty for what I was about to do.

But that part of me that was intent on avoiding any emotional situations was already lifting the window. The need to get away as far as I could was stronger than any guilt Jack would feel when he discovered I was gone.

Hurriedly, I climbed out as quickly as I could. Lowering myself from one branch to another before I dropped to the ground.

I quickly headed away from the house, not having any idea of where I was headed. Putting as much space between myself and his parents was forefront in my mind.

Just as I rounded the corner, I looked over my shoulder to ensure no one was following me. As I swung my gaze back to the path ahead I caught sight of something familiar that stopped me in my tracks.

The breath from my lungs escaped in a gasp. It was Alice’s house. The same red roof, the same face brick walls.

In an instant I was enveloped by memories of her. In her bedroom, painting each others nails. Laughing and gossiping. We had been so innocent. I wanted to stay there in her presence, in those memories forgetting how she was taken from the world.

I could nearly reach out to touch her grinning ghost. If I could just touch her I could hold onto it. It would fix everything. She would be with me. Not left in the darkness I had run from. Lost to us.

I had not been back in her house since then.

I don’t know what made me cross the street to her house. There was nothing logical or reasonable about my actions.

I was already searching for the key to the front door under the welcome mat. My fingers brushed against the metal key. Surprisingly it was there.

I hesitated for just a moment before I proceeded to unlock the front door slowly. Everything look the same. It was like I was going back in time. I closed the door and set the front door key on the nearby reception table.

It was quiet.

In the next moment I was ascending the stairs straight to Alice’s room. I stopped outside the closed door. I closed my eyes trying to remember her voice, her laughter. My hand reached for the doorhandle and I twisted it open as I opened my eyes.

It was silent. Her room looked exactly the same as the night we had got ready to go out.

I entered the room, looking around at all her things.

On the dressing table there were pictures of us stuck to the mirror. I breathed through the emotion building up t the memories of us. Before it happened. Before everything changed. I reached for the nail polish we had used that night.

My hand tightened around the bottle. It had been so unfair. The pain was indescribable, shredding my insides. I gasped as I set the bottle back down, not wanting to disturb even the smallest bit of the time capsule of her room.

It was too much, to be faced with the severity of what I had lost.

I stood, unable to move. My eyes taking in everything as the emotion drowned me from within.

It was Alice’s childhood tattered faded pink dinosaur that finally tipped me over. I sobbed, wrapping my arms around myself. So much sadness, so much lost.

There was no keeping it in check, looking around at all of her things. Things she would never use.

I reached for the pink dinosaur, inhaling it trying to remind myself of how she smelled. I breathed in deeply, tears sliding down my cheeks.

I wanted to hold onto that fleeting reminder of her but it was gone just as quickly as it had come. Sniffling, I wiped the tears and returned the keepsake back to its place on her bed.

I exhaled a trembling breath.

Nothing would bring her back. She was gone.

The heaviness on my shoulders weighed deeply on me. I brushed tears away, trying push back against the pain.

It was too much to be in her room, surrounded by all the memories of her. I backed up a step, and then another.

I couldn’t stay, not for a second longer. I twirled around and there stood Dallas at the top of the stairs.

“Whoa.” He held his hands up.

I put my hand to my heart. He had taken me completely by surprise. I hadn’t even heard him.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said softly, lowering his hands slowly.

“You scared me,” I admonished. My heart was still racing so fast.

Then I frowned. “Why are you here?”

I asked the question like I had anymore right to be there than he did but I was just as much as an intruder as he was.

“Why did you run out on Jack and your parents?”

I refused to answer. I didn’t have to explain myself to him.

“Jack is frantically trying to find you. I offered to check here.”

Jack. My heart sank. I hated that I had scared him. He didn’t deserve any of this.

Dallas studied me. “Did you really feel like there was no other option but to climb out the window?”

I crossed my arms defensively.

Dallas sighed. “He’s a mess Hadley. Ever since Alice…”

I gulped down the emotion at the mention of Alice’s name. It didn’t help that I was feeling pretty awful for disappearing on Jack. After all he had done for me, he didn’t deserve it.

“I can’t change that.”

I couldn’t bring back his dead sister, no matter how much I wanted to. If I could I would swap my life for hers in a heartbeat, no hesitation.

“I know that.” He pulled a hand through his hair.

I was never close to Dallas but I could tell he wanted to get something off his chest.

“Just say it Dallas.” I stiffened my shoulders slightly, ready to take whatever he was going to say.

“This is not just about you Hadley. There is part of him that died that night with Alice.” He took a breath. “Having you around is reminder of it all. It’s not good for him. It’s going to break him.”

I had been so selfish that I had only been able to think about myself.

“I didn’t ask him to find me.”

“He couldn’t save Alice so he’s trying to save you.”

He was right.

“So what do you want from me Dallas?” I lifted my chin slightly.

“Not everything is about you. Think about what this is doing to him.”

I couldn’t even be angry. He was speaking the truth and I knew it.

“I still don’t know what you want me to do about it?”

“Maybe next time you should take a minute to think about how your actions affect him. He deserves that much from you.”

He got his phone from his pocket and dialed a number. “Yeah. She’s here.”

He ended the call. His eyes held mine. “He is on his way.”