I stared into the cup of coffee unable to even pretend I got a wink of sleep the night before.

I had been haunted by the sounds coming from Jack’s bedroom. The woman who had shared his bed. My insides felt raw and I didn’t have it in me to pretend otherwise.

“Um…hi.”

The woman stood in the doorway to the kitchen. She was dressed in a white collared men’s shirt which I assumed belong to Jack. It reinforced their intimate relationship.

I shrugged, unable to reply. The sight of her made me swallow hard. All the emotions from last night returned in a split second and I was in the hallway listening to her and Jack. She was beautiful and sophisticated. Everything I wasn’t.

“Hi,” I whispered, trying my best not to show how affected I was by her presence.

It was bad enough to feel this way, the last thing I wanted was for Jack to find out. It would be beyond mortifying.

“I’m Beth,” she introduced herself coming up to me and holding out her hand.

I stared at her hand like was a foreign object I had no intention of touching.

“Um..I’m sorry,” she mumbled, dropping her hand.

I shifted in my seat feeling her stare and not sure what I could say to clear the awkwardness.

“I know who you are,” she murmured quietly.

My eyes shot to hers. What did that mean?

“I know what happened to you.” The sadness in her eyes, hit me in the chest.

How on earth did she know that? Had Jack told her? My eyes flickered to the doorway of the kitchen.

“I work at the police station. I’m an investigator and I was brought onto your case to give it fresh eyes.”

She looked far too young to have enough experience to handle a case like mine.

I withdrew my hands from the table and rested them in my lap as I averted my gaze from hers.

“I’m sorry that happened to you Hadley.”

Her voice hung in the air, so filled with regret it made my chest hurt.

“I know it’s been three years but I will find out who did it.”

I didn’t want any part in it. Nothing could bring Alice back and I didn’t have the strength to face what happened. It was best left alone, so it could be forgotten. That’s what I wanted more than anything. To forget it, wipe it from my memory.

Someone cleared their throat. It was Jack who stood in the doorway. He was barefoot in a jeans and t-shirt.

Jack gave Beth a look I couldn’t decipher before he moved his gaze to me.

I couldn’t look at him, not after what I had heard the night before. I didn’t like how it made me feel. It brought emotions I didn’t know how to handle, especially when they were both watching me.

I stood up and walked out, passing Jack as I headed to my room. Inside the sanctuary of the familiar walls I closed the door and leaned against it drawing in a deep breath. It felt like the walls were closing in on me and it became harder to breathe.

Feeling overwhelmed, I sank down onto the floor and crept to the nearest corner. I adjusted myself to rest my chin on my knees as I stared at the door, not wanting anyone to invade my space. The outside world scared me. Everyone was a stranger, everyone was a possible danger. A danger that had killed my friend and destroyed me.

Eventually the tightness in my chest eased and I took a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds before releasing it slowly. I remembered someone telling me how to breath when I began to panic. I didn’t have my usual fix to get through it, now I was left trying to concentrate on each breath while steadily counting to stave off the panic.

I don’t know how long I sat there before there was a knock. I pulled my knees to my chest, refusing to say anything.

“I’m coming in Hadley,” Jack announced.

I stayed where I was, not moving as the door opened. Jack filled the doorway.

We stared at each other across the room.

“I’m sorry Had.”

I swallowed slowly, watching him as he took a couple of steps into my room rubbing the back of his neck.

“I know you’re not good around strangers and I should have at least warned you that she was coming over last night.”

He had no idea I had already heard them last night in his room. I blushed when I thought back to it so I lowered my gaze.

“Say something Had.”

I sighed before I lifted my head to look him in the eye.

“Is she your girlfriend?” I asked, more directly than I had even expected.

He shook his head.

My mind ticked over. Jack was so focussed on finding out who killed Alice that if I hadn’t heard it myself I wouldn’t have believed he had the capacity to have any type of relationship. Beth. My case. Jack. The links began to materialize and then I realized what he was doing.

“You’re fucking her,” I murmured as my thoughts zeroed in on the only reason I believed he was getting close to Beth.

He shrugged.

But I knew him better than that. I shook my head.

“But it’s not just that Jack, is it?”

He refused to answer.

“That’s how you know what’s going on. You’re getting information from her.”

His expression was void of any telltale emotion.

“Does she know you’re using her Jack?”

He shifted slightly and I could read what he wasn’t saying.

“She doesn’t, does she?” I questioned further.

There was a part of me that was relieved it was nothing more than that but there was a part that felt uncomfortable condoning what he was doing.

“I told you I would do anything to find out who killed my sister.” His stare was hard and unyielding.

He was using Beth to get what he needed and he didn’t feel one ounce of regret over what he was doing.

Jack had always been a good guy, but these weren’t the actions of the guy I knew from before Alice’s death. He had changed but he wasn’t the only one. We had all been changed by the events of that day.

I would never had touched drugs before Alice’s death and here I was a full blown drug addict with marks on my arms to prove it. I wasn’t going to be the one to lecture him on what he was doing, I didn’t have any room to talk.

“She is good at what she does. If anyone has a shot at solving it, it’s her.”

I nodded, not liking the admiration in his voice. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to understand I was jealous of her. Even if I didn’t want to feel it, I did.

“I have a friend that’s going to come over a little later.”

“A friend?”

He nodded.

I wondered it was another friend like Beth.

“She is going to run some blood tests.”

I frowned, crossing my arms. “Why?”

He sighed. “We need to check that you haven’t picked up something from sharing needles.”

I shook my head. “I never shared needles.”

He pinned with a long hard stare. “Are you sure?”

I nodded. “Ryder always complained but I refused to use a used needle.”

“Are you sure there wasn’t a chance it might have happened without you knowing?” He dropped the question and my mind began to race.

“No. Ryder was an asshole but he wouldn’t have done that.”

“You trust him more than I do.”

I hated how he made question it now.

“I still think it’s best to get you checked.”

It was the last thing I wanted to do but I doubted I would be able to talk him out of it. I knew he was doing it for my own good but I still felt resentful that he was making plans without consulting me.

“Maybe next time ask me first,” I snapped, feeling agitated.

He nodded. “Next time I’ll talk to you first.”

We stared at each other while silence settled between us.

“You think I'm meddling but I’m trying to look after you Hadley.”

Instead of arguing, I knew I should have been thankful someone cared.