I shot up in the bed crying and shaking. Warm strong arms engulfed me.

“It’s only a nightmare Had.”

I closed my eyes tightly. Had. Terry had used that nickname and it was still so triggering. I hadn’t been able to tell Jack that. I know he meant it in an endearing way that signified our close relationship.

“Don’t,” I murmured, pulling from Jack to slip from the bed. I was dressed in my night shirt and shorts.

We were in his room. I had nightmares every night since I had been released from the hospital. I would go to bed in my room and when I woke up trembling after experiencing another harrowing dream that had felt so real Jack would hold me until I stop shaking. Then he would take me to his room, pull the covers back for me to get in. He would get in behind me and hold me while I stared at the ceiling too afraid to fall back asleep.

It had become our nightly ritual until I had eventually just gone to sleep in his bed.

My focus on getting myself to a place where I could function with the fear. It was there in the background, always.

It didn’t matter that Terry was dead and could not hurt me. That didn’t suddenly overnight make me feel safe, it also didn’t erase the trauma he put me through.

There was something about being so vulnerable while a monster had reveled in my pain. I put the back of my hand to my mouth.

“Talk to me,” Jack said, he was standing behind me. Close enough to show support but not too close to make me feel smothered.

He just seemed to know at times what I needed and when.

I released a deep emotional sigh, knowing I would have to tell him.

“That’s what he called me,” I murmured, trying not to remember all the other things that were going on when he had called me by that nickname. “He used my nickname.”

I quietened.

“I’m sorry, I had no idea.” His hands rested on my shoulders.

I let him turn me around to face him, taking a shaky breath. Thinking back to it made me feel raw and unbalanced.

“What can I call you instead?” he asked, moving his hands from my shoulders.

“I don’t know. Anything but that.” That was enough for me.

He studied me.

“I could call you by your name.” He shrugged.

“Sure,” I murmured.

I was slightly disappointed, when he used a nickname it made me feel a closeness to him. A connection.

“Or I could call you something else.”

I frowned. “Like what?”

“Like sweetheart. Or baby. Or something like that.”

My frown deepened as I studied him. “Sweetheart?”

He nodded.

It wasn’t a shortening of a name, it was endearment. The type of thing that was shared not between friends but lovers.

He held my gaze.

“Why?” I found myself asking in a whisper afraid of the territory we were headed into.

He ran an hand through his hair as I watched on. His usual confidence missing, he was anxious.

“There is something that I’ve been meaning to talk to you about. There just never seemed to be the right time. Your recovery has the most important thing so I kept putting it off again and again.”

I wasn’t sure where he was going but I let him continue.

“I don’t know how to do any of this.”

“Do what?” I murmured, still not sure what he was talking about.

“I’ve never needed anyone, you know. Not a girlfriend, partner or wife. I was fine on my own.”

There was a silence that fell while I watched him.

Had I outstayed my welcome? Was it time to stand on my own? My parents had offered fro me to come and stay with them but he had insisted I stay with him.

“I can leave.”

“What- No.” He held out a hand to me. “That’s not what I’m getting at. Actually it’s the opposite.”

I was still so confused, I crossed my arms.

“You’ve always been special to me. Before you were Alice’s best friend. I felt the same protectiveness I had for her over you as well. And after she died that protectiveness intensified. You were my responsibility to keep safe and protect but I allowed others to make me doubt what I was feeling. I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping my distance.”

It felt like a lifetime ago already.

“Then when I found you high in that apartment with some drug dealer I knew I would never allow anyone to come between us again.” His tone fierce. “Girls were dying again and that protectiveness I’ve always had for you kicked straight back in, like a reflex.”

It was fascinating to listen to him. I was so captivated as he spoke I didn’t interrupt him for fear it would somehow disrupt his flow.

“And then we slept together. You turned my world upside down and I was angry. I felt so much, more than I was ever used to feeling.”

My cheeks warmed. “You were so angry.”

He nodded. “It complicated things. You weren’t just my sister’s friend anymore. You were something more. I couldn’t label it or define what you meant to me.” He paused. “All I knew was that when you looked at me with those big blue eyes of yours I wanted you more than I had ever wanted anyone. I brushed it off as chemistry, just sex.”

I bit my lip, nervous to hear what he was going to reveal.

“You told me you loved me but I was in denial.”

He sighed.

“That’s why I was so angry because deep down I knew it was more.”

I held my breath. Hopeful.

“When I got back and found Dallas unconscious and you were gone I knew. I knew exactly how I felt. No more ego or pretending.”

It felt unreal.

“In that instant I knew I loved you and I would do anything to find you because I couldn’t live without you.”

I swallowed, my eyes meshed with his. “You love me?”

He nodded and his mouth tipped up into a smile. “Hook, line and sinker.”

I was stunned.

“You still love me?” he asked.

I nodded. “Yeah”

My heart was so filled with love for him it felt like it was going to burst.

“I’m not trying to rush you into something you might not be ready for. After everything you have been through we can take our time.”

He was a good man, trying to ensure that I didn’t feel pressured into doing something I wasn’t ready for. I knew he was special but there were still times he managed to surprise me.

“It used to be a crush. I would always day dream about you. You were the good looking brother of my best friend. I never believed I ever had a chance.”

“A crush?”

“It didn’t take long to fall for you Jack.” I whispered. “You were my hero the night you found me when I was scared out of my mind and you were my hero when you rescued me from Terry.”

“I don’t want or need to be a hero. All I want is you. That’s it,” he vowed softly.

“You have me,” I declared. “You always have.”

We moved at the same time to embrace and then we were kissing.

Then he leaned his forehead against mine. “So what do I call you?”

“Whatever you want,” I murmured. I had his love, there was nothing more I wanted than that.

He kissed my forehead.

“Aren’t you afraid of what our parents will say?” Before they had called our attachment to each other unhealthy. I wasn’t sure they were going to be thrilled about this turn of events.

“I don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks Hadley. We know what this is and we don’t have to prove it or justify it to anyone.”

I nodded. He was right.

His mouth found mine and kissed me again. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close.

“So where do we go from here?” I asked, when the kiss ended as he drew back.

“Wherever we want.”

I moved to place my hands on either side of his face and touched my mouth to his. “I love you.”

I said it with my heart.

“I love you too.” His voice hoarse.