Picking up the pieces of my life after wasn’t easy but one thing I could hold onto was the fact that I had survived a vicious serial killer when I had been so close to becoming his next victim. Who knows how long he would have continued to kill if he hadn’t been stopped.

I was in hospital for a few days, my body healing from my wounds. My parents came to see me. It was emotional.

Jack’s parents also came around and there were tears. They finally knew what happened to their daughter and why. While it didn’t bring her back, it gave them some sort of peace. They didn’t have to wonder and agonize over what had happened and where she was anymore.

They would finally be able to bury her in a place they could visit.

We were are still grappling with the fact that the person responsible had been someone we had all been close to.

The case had been solved. Jack had been cleared of the shooting. It didn’t bring back any of his victims back but it gave their families closure. It was something.

Jack gave notice at the apartment and found another one in time for my release from hospital. He had a strength I leaned into. I felt too weak and vulnerable to deal with the outside world so I let him take care of me. When he wasn’t sorting out the apartment or checking in with Beth he was with me.

I was apprehensive but relieved I would not have to step foot in the place where Terry had grabbed me. I had for too much trauma to be able to go back within those four walls and not be affected. It was a reminder I could not deal with.

The day I was released Jack was there to wheel me out. I stared out the window as he drove us to the new apartment. The world looked different. The sun bright, colors brighter than before. I didn’t know if it was because I didn’t have to live in fear anymore or it had to do with the fact I had been cooped up in the hospital.

When he arrived at the block of apartments he came around to help me out. He took my hand in his and led me int the building. It was on the second floor. It was nice.

He watched me with anticipation when he opened the door he released my hand and allowed me in first. Tentatively I walked in taking in the layout and the familiar furniture.

“What do you think?” he asked.

I turned to him. “It’s nice.” Emotion bubbled to the surface and I could feel the tears burn. He saw and came to me to hug me.

“Thank you.”

He held me a little tighter.

I had asked so much of him. More than anyone would ask of a friend. We had been more friends but I wasn’t sure what we were now. Now that I didn’t need him to protect me and he didn’t need me to find Alice.

I was in unknown territory but I didn’t have the strength to do more than take one day at a time. I had been through so much and the most important thing was not allowing me to fall back into the bad habits that I had sought before when things had spiraled.

My room looked exactly the same and there was comfort in that. I released a deep emotional breath. I was different. What I had been through wasn’t something I could explain to anyone, including Jack. I had faced my own possible death and it made you look things differently. It made me realize how fragile life was, and how easy it could be taken.

I knew how lucky I was to survive what I had and I couldn’t waste that no matter how difficult some days were.

My first shower Jack had stayed close in case I had needed any help. He was always there, at times in the background and there were times he was there right beside me to take my hand.

The trauma was there and I had to find a better way than drugs to deal with it.

So I put in the hard work and started to see a psychiatrist to try unpack the fear that kept me up at night. While I knew Terry was dead and his reign of terror was over, he still haunted me in my nightmares.

Once law enforcement started to go through Terry’s electronics and house they began to piece together what happened between him and Alice. Alice had been a naive teenage girl who had fallen in love with a man who wasn’t capable to feeling anything for anyone. It had been all about himself. His reputation had mattered more than her life and the last thing he had wanted was a child.

When I had finally sat down and gone over everything that happened with Beth I was told that they believed Alice had been early in her pregnancy, possibly only a few weeks when she was murdered.

With the elements and the condition of her remains they were unable to confirm the pregnancy. They also believed Terry’s close proximity to the family would have allowed him access to clear out any evidence of the relationship he had with Alice.

He had walked amongst us without anyone suspecting a thing. There was a betrayal in there that would have more far reaching guilt than I could ever predict. Discovering someone you were convinced was a good man was a cold calculating killer made you second guess every interaction you ever had with them without ever being able to understand how you weren’t able to see it.

I still couldn’t believe that I hadn’t known a thing about their short relationship. Alice had kept that secret from everyone.

Holding onto all the questions and agonizing over the reason she had kept something so important from me did not do me any good so I tried my best to let it go.

A week after I had been released there had been a knock on the door.

Jack had opened to let Dallas in. I stood up from the sofa nervous to face the man I had effectively accused of being a murderer.

We shared a look and he walked over to place a six pack on the table. I studied him, trying to figure out what to say. He took a beer and handed it to me. He had never done that, ever.

“Thank you,” I mumbled, taken off guard. Jack watched us closely as he closed the door.

Dallas gave a brief nod of acknowledgment as he took the seat beside me. Jack sat down the on chair beside me.

I lowered myself into my seat. Dallas took my beer and opened it before handing it back to me.

Something had changed between us and I was still trying to figure out exactly what. Dallas had always been standoffish with me, it had been one of the reasons I had been convinced he had been the killer.

But I began to realize it was part of his personality. He found it difficult to interact with people.

It was only later after the game he had come over to watch when he was about to leave he said. “I’m sorry.”

Taken aback, I wasn’t sure what to say.

“If he hadn’t knocked me out…then…”

I placed my hand on his. “Don’t.” I shook my head gently. Even I couldn’t stop the emotion that surfaced. I took a breath. “I don’t blame you.”

There was no blame to be burdened with.

He nodded.

And that was the extent of any discussion we ever had over it.

Later when he left I was sitting on the sofa and Jack joined me.

“That was…” I murmured, still trying to sort through the emotional entanglement of emotions I had experienced with Dallas with barely any words spoken.

“He isn’t good with words. He has a way of expressing things without having to put them into sentence.”

I nodded. If I hadn’t just experienced it myself I might not have believed it.

“You will have a friend for life. He never shares his beers. Not even with me.” He smiled as he leaned back.

My heart warmed as I stared at the front door. It was such a strange experience. So much had been dealt with without even talking about it.