Something.

It was another sudden revelation.

Jack gave my hand a squeeze before he released it. “Stay here.”

I managed to nod still trying to take it in before he hurried after Beth. There was a desperation in his actions that sent me into protective mode. For me there was a sense of foreboding. I could feel it in my bones.

I found myself following slowly behind.

There was a path that led into the trees, it was entirely made from dirt. The ground uneven. My focus entirely on Jack as he followed Beth and the cop.

The air cool.

Beth stopped ahead and so did Jack. I found myself doing the same for fear of what was there. From my point of view all I could see was some ankle high grass with a tree nearby.

Jack stilled. I could tell in his body language that it was bad. The way his posture was tight, the way his shoulders slumped slightly. I could not look away, my eyes fixed on him and every little movement.

Beth looked back over her shoulder at me but I could not take one step closer. I wasn’t brave enough, I couldn’t do it.

Jack bowed his head and my heart splintered into a thousand pieces. There was a slight tremble in his shoulders. I didn’t need anyone to tell me what lay at his feet.

At that moment a soft drizzle began to fall from the sky. It was mingled with the tears that suddenly appeared. I couldn’t stop. It was like our sadness was so great it encompassed the elements around us to share in our pain.

All this time she had just been a few yards from the place where she had succumbed to her injuries. Out in the open, to the outside elements. A new wave of pain swept through me, like pins and knives. Damaging every part of me, bringing such acute pain I could barely breathe. Reopening the wound of grief, like a knife to skin.

I could not even allow my mind to continue down that path for fear I would die right there from a broken heart. It was too much. I would gain nothing from going any further down the path so I turned and made my way back with each hurried step like I could leave the pain where I had stood but that wasn’t unfortunately how it worked.

At the car I opened the passenger side and got in. I stared at the house, stilling quietly crying. I pulled the jacket tighter feeling so cold as I brushed a tear away.

The forensics arrived in a van I watch as they headed down to where I had been. It was confirmation of what I already knew.

It was a while before I saw Jack return. He walked slowly toward the car, rain running down his tortured face. In the background there was a hum of activity but the only thing that held my attention was the man who had witnessed the most horrifying thing.

It brought out a bout of emotion I could not keep in. I wiped the tears from my face just as he opened the door and got in.

I studied him as he sat there without even making a move to start the car. His clothes were soaked through, they clung to his skin. Water dripped from his face but he was staring off into the distance.

“It’s her,” he said softly before he turned to me.

My heart broke all over again. I put my hand on his arm to remind him he wasn’t in this alone. I was with him.

He bowed his head, taking a breath. “I have searched for her for so long…it doesn’t feel real.” He sighed.

I understood it more than most.

“He left her out there.” His jaw tensed and he held onto the steering wheel, his knuckles white. “Like trash. Something he could discard.”

The pain in his eyes so deep it went all the way to his heart.

I held onto his arm, feeling his pain. It was my own. The tears I had managed to chase away began to seep down my cheeks.

“I couldn’t leave, until they got there. You know?” He let out another emotional breath. “She has been alone for so long I couldn’t walk away without having someone there with her.” He gave a scoff. “It’s not like it should matter but it does…”

I nodded. Fully understanding.

The heavy silence in the car on the way back was suffocating and painful. Even when we entered the apartment I watched Jack fearing more was going on inside of him and I feared I wouldn’t be handle it.

I sat down on the sofa and shrugged his jacket off to lay down beside me. I pulled my knees to my chest as I watched him.

He seemed like a storm about to unleash. It was so much pain and grief to be contained inside.

“I want to hit something,” he muttered walking back and forth.

It was a need to exert physical action to release built up anger.

I had long passed anger to sadness. It had me in its suffocating clutches for what like forever.

I watched unable to think of a way to help ease what he was going through. I was barely keeping myself together.

“How long before they confirm it?” I asked.

He stopped. “It shouldn’t take long. They have to compare dental records.”

It was then it hit me. I began to tear up. It was too much to think about. Out there in the open she had been alone for all this time. The pain was physical deep inside me.

Jack studied me for a long moment before he sighed and moved to sit beside me. He put his arm around me and hugged me.

His hair and shirt were still damp as he hugged me and I took a shuddering breath, unable to stop the emotions breaking free. They had been burred too deep for too long.

“I need to change,” he said before releasing me and headed to his room.

I believed it had more to do with having a private moment to himself than really needing to change his damp attire. I sat in silence while he changed and returned.

He began to pace again, more anxious than before.

“Are you going to call your parents?” I asked softly knowing this news would not just stay between us.

I couldn’t imagine how they would react. It was one thing living with all the questions of exactly what happened and what had happened. The unknown. But it was a whole different story uncovering the hard truth.

He stopped and raked a hand through his hair. “No.” He shook his head. “Not until they confirm the identity.” His voice tired and ragged.

It made sense even when we both knew it was her.

“I need to be a hundred per cent sure before I tell them.”

I frowned. “You think there is a chance it might not be her?” My voice a whisper.

He shook his head. “It’s her.”

Maybe he was using it as an excuse to delay giving his parents the news. They had already been through so much. Perhaps he needed the time to take it in so he would be able to support his parents when they found out.

At least now she wouldn’t lost anymore, somewhere in our minds in a place we couldn’t imagine. She would be buried in a place where the people who loved her could visit.

I was tired, emotional wrung out. I couldn’t take anymore.

“So what do we do now?” I asked.

“We wait.” He was pacing again.

And then he stopped. He looked like he was trying to say something so I stayed quiet.

“I always hoped that somehow you were wrong you know.” He swallowed hard, his eyes darker. “That maybe you had been so scared that you had imagined parts of it. Like a nightmare that feels real.”

My heart ached for him.

I understood the need to hold onto something other than the reality of the what really happened. It was difficult to lose someone you loved, it was terrible to lose someone they way we had.

“Maybe I wasn’t man enough to face the truth.”

I slipped off the sofa and walked over to him. I didn’t say anything, there were no words that were going to ease the pain he was going through so I put my arms around his waist.