The weather matched my mood. Cloudy, overcast and gloomy.

I held my breath as we got closer to the scene. I was quiet and filled with apprehension, nervousness and outright terror but nothing that I stared at as Jack drove looked familiar.

When Jack stopped the car and switched it off he looked to me to gauge my reaction but I was keeping my emotions close to my chest. I pulled the jacket he loaned me closer, feeling colder and I wasn’t sure that it had anything to do with the weather.

Jack reached and took my hand into his. The warmth seeped into mine as my eyes held his.

“You sure you’re still on board with all of this?” he asked softly, giving me one last chance to change my mind.

I nodded slowly, fearing I would reveal how nervous I was if I tried to talk.

“You ready?”

I wasn’t but I was going to go through with it. The chance to be free of the fear that every person that crossed my path held the potential to be the serial killer that was intent on taking my life.

Jack got out and walked around to open my door. I let him help me out and I took my first look at the house. There was nothing special about it. In fact it was run down the paint chipping off the wooden boards. I allowed my eyes rove over the roof and back down to the door I would have escaped through.

There was no familiarity at all. Nothing. I blinked.

For the first time I entertained the thought that I might not getting anything useful out of this and it would all be for nothing but I couldn’t allow myself to focus on that otherwise I would back out.

Jack stood with me patiently, not rushing me.

Beth appeared, looking from me to Jack. Her body language all business. This was her job, her goal was to catch the killer.

“She ready?”

Jack nodded. “We need to take this slow.”

Beth lifted the police tape and allowed us in. I stopped.

“How?” I asked.

She frowned.

“How did you find it?” It had been something I had wondered more than a few times after Jack had revealed they had found it.

“It was a process of elimination. The area, with the age of the houses in the vicinity that we mapped out the area that we believed you covered that night.”

I took it all in.

“It was the cadaver dog that actually pinpointed the house.”

Cadaver. The word echoed through me, shaking all my strength away. A dead body. Alice.

I must have physically reacted, Jack put his arm around me.

“We know there has been human remains in this house.”

Remains. It felt so impersonal but I had to remind myself this was a person who dealt with dead bodies all the time and they probably meant nothing more than a name, photo and a few background details.

Alice wasn’t just a victim. She was a person whose life had been cut tragically short. She had been vibrant, the life of the party and she had been my best friend.

The silence that replaced her death in my life had been debilitating. Life changing.

“Are you ready?” Beth asked briskly when my silence stretched on.

I looked to Jack before I nodded. I had to do this, there was no real choice.

Jack released me as Beth led the way. There were cops at the outer edge conversing as we passed. I had to remind myself to breathe.

It wasn’t until I entered the house, I had flashes of the memories that I had recalled with the hypnotist.

I stopped. Jack halted and watch me closely. I allowed my gaze to take in the room and when I was done I walked further into the house. The memories so strong I could smell them now. I closed my eyes and allowed my sense go, taking in everything.

Slowly, I worked my way to the door of the basement. I wasn’t sure what to expect and I hesitated.

“I have to warn you, we found the scene.” It was Beth giving me the information.

Scene. I could hear Alison in my mind, struggling to breathe because she was dying in a pool of her own blood.

“You okay?” Jack asked.

“No but I have to do this.” It was the most honest thing I had said since we had arrived.

“Let me go down first. If I think it’s too much….”

He was trying to protect me but I had to do this. It was the only chance I had of taking charge of my life and the trauma that had kept me drowning for so long.

I watched as Jack went ahead, I heard the creak of the stairs. It was quiet. Silent.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Jack’s voice carried from below but I found myself already slowly descending the stairs, unable to stop myself.

It was a lot to take in. The sight, smell and the sound. It bought me back to the night I escaped. The moment I lowered my eyes to Jack’s face I felt regret but pushed through it. If there was a time to be brave, this was it.

My eyes lowered gaze from his face to the dark mark on the concrete floor. It was a dark maroon color. I stopped.

In my mind I could smell the metallic in the crimson liquid. In the present it was stale and unaired.

I lowered myself the last few steps, my gaze focussed entirely on the spot where Alice had died.

Jack rubbed his hands over his face. I wasn’t the only one taking in what happened here.

I pulled my eyes from the mark to look around the basement. There beside the wall was the pipes he had tied me to. I could not take another step.

There were no new memories but I closed my eyes trying to take in everything I could. In the memory there was only darkness and fear. A panic that I would die, that I would not escape.

I may have escaped physically but a part of me had died with Alice that day. An innocence and trust in people. It would scar me for a lifetime.

Even in my memory there were few details that stood out that I hadn’t already gone over in my mind. The air was musty and stale. I couldn’t quite place any specific. There was a sandy almost woodsy smell.

I looked back Jack who had a deep frown as he watched me.

“You remember anything?” There was hope.

Hope I was about to dash.

“No.”

It was disappointing to say the least. To have gone through so much to only come out on the other side with nothing new. It was frustrating.

The room that had been so dark and frightening looked like a forgotten basement that hadn’t been occupied for many years.

Beth was waiting for us when we ascended the stairs.

“Anything?” she asked, getting straight to the point.

I shook my head.

“Did you find anything about who owns the house?” Jack asked.

“There is nothing. It’s was abandoned years ago.”

It was another disappointment. It made me feel like we had nothing on the killer and we would never get any closer than we were.

“I have my forensics arriving soon and they will go over this house with a find tooth comb. We should find something.”

It made me hopeful. Jack gave a subdued nod as he looked around the immediate area.

I wanted to brush the sadness from his eyes, he carried the emotion close to his heart only coming to the surface at rare times like this.

“Keep me updated,” Jack said to Beth before he began to lead me back to the front door.

I took my time allowing myself to take another look, hoping I missed something the first time but there was nothing. Nothing new.

At the front door I stepped through it. The outside dreariness seemed to carry over from inside the abandoned house.

There was a flash from my memory. The fear, the need to get away and the survival instinct that had made me run as fast as I could.

There was so much emotion I took a trembling breath, Jack threaded his hand with mine. I looked to him and stared into his eyes. We had been through so much and were no closer.

There was a stir of activity. The spell between us broken.

A cop hurried into the house and exited only moments with Beth in tow.

“What is?” Jack asked.

“They found something.”