I was awkward and uncomfortable as I sat on the sofa. My eyes went to the door.

“If you feel more comfortable Jack can sit in on our session.” The nicely dressed woman across from me suggested kindly.

I shook my head. He had enough to carry, he didn’t need more. Besides after accusing his best friend, he had been cool toward me and I didn’t know how to handle this Jack.

He had arranged the appointment with Dr. Ford. He had apparently got her contact details from Beth. It was something that law enforcement occasionally used. The point was that she had experience dealing with these type of situations.

I felt jumpy and nervous. I shifted as she watched me.

“Are you ready to start?” She leaned forward in her seat across from me. She was so polished and beautiful. Everything I felt lacking in my shirt and jeans. I wasn’t wearing a stitch of make up.

For a moment, i saw her as the type of woman Jack deserved. One who didn’t just see pain and suffering around her. Someone who didn’t hyperventilate when walking down a strange street. Someone who had their shit together. Not someone who was broken beyond repair.

I shoved the thought away, not knowing where that had come from. I wasn’t a permanent place in Jack’s love life. To him I would always be Hadley, the best friend of his baby sister. The one who had survived what his sister hadn’t.

I nodded.

“Lay down on the sofa and get comfortable.”

I felt a bit ridiculous but I was ready to try anything so I did as she instructed.

“Close your eyes.”

She took me through the initial set up, her voice calm and steady.

Despite my skepticism, I began to feel a little more relaxed.

Once I was still and I was wrapped in the dark of my thoughts, she counted down from ten.

“I want you to go back to before the kidnapping.” I heard a ruffle of pages. “You went over to Alice’s house to get ready for the party. I want you to see yourself with Alice.”

The memory drifted in effortlessly. They held so much love and grief. Alice was laughing, her eyes scrunched up and she held her midriff.

I wanted to capture the moment and keep it safe from time even if it was something that I rarely allowed myself to relive. It hurt too much.

I wanted to go back in time and change everything. If I could go back I would convince her to stay home, and she wouldn’t have died that night. She would still be with us. There would be no mourning her.

I couldn’t even allow myself to think how the last three years would have been if it had been different. It was too painful to think of everything she had missed out over the time she had been gone. It only intensified the pain of her loss.

“What are you doing?”

“We’re getting ready. Alice’s is wearing her new outfit.” I smiled. “She saved up for months for those jeans.”

“What are you wearing?”

“My favorite mini skirt and top.” I smiled fondly again. “Alice wanted me to wear a shorter one.”

Dr. Ford led me from one scenario to another.

“Where are you now?”

I took a breath looking around. “We’re at the beach. I can smell the salt in the air.” I sighed. “I can feel the sand with my feet.”

“What time is it?”

“It’s dark. We are late.” I could see the flames from the bonfire on the beach lick the sky. I took a moment to take it all in.

There was a part of me that wanted to stay in this moment.

Alice gripped my hand with her shoes in the other and dragged me onto the beach. I let her drag me onto the beach.

“What’s happening now?” I could hear the question but it took me a moment to get my bearings.

“Jason is getting us something to drink.”

“Who is Jason?”

Alice had been trying to play cupid for a while. She had believed Jason would have been the perfect match but little did she know I had the biggest crush on her older brother. Jack.

“Some guy she had been trying to set me up with,” I murmured, trying to stay relaxed so I could soak up the memory for a little longer. “I wasn’t confident with boys like she was.”

“What is happening now?”

I felt dizzy. “I’ve had too much to drink. I don’t even know what they were giving us.”

The dark night with stars spun as I gazed up.

Alice had smiled while trying to get me to stand up but being drunk made me unsteady on my feet. I didn’t feel good, I wanted to throw up.

“Where is Alice?”

“She is trying to get me to stand but I’m too drunk.” I moaned. “I don’t feel well. I don’t drink often.”

Then there was only darkness. It was cold and damp. I frowned. I felt disorientated like I had been pulled from one place and thrust into another instantly. I was laying on the floor. My head felt so stuffy it was difficult to concentrate. My body cold against the concrete floor. It was then I noticed I was half dressed. The horror took hold that someone had taken my clothes and I was only in my underwear and bra.

“What are you doing now?”

I shivered, trying to move and it was then I realized I was tied to the pipe against the wall. It was rope would not budge. I closed my eyes and reopened them feeling like I was having trouble shaking off my tiredness.

“I’m tied up…I’m scared…I don’t know…” I gasped, so overwhelmed I didn’t know what to do. “I don’t have clothes. My shirt and shirt…”

My thoughts were still too muddled to figure out how I got to this from my last memory.

“Stay calm. You’re safe Hadley.” She talked to me, soothing my fear. I held onto it, like a lifetime in stormy waters.

“What can you see?”

“There is no light. But I think it looks like a basements. I’m tied…”

“Remember you’re safe Hadley. Nothing can happen to you.”

I nodded, believing her as I gazed around the room.

“There are stairs I think.”

“Is anyone there with you?”

There was no other sound other than my heartbeat echoing in me.

Then I heard something.

“I think…”

I waited. It was the softest sound, like a breath.

“Where is Alice?”

My bottom lip wobbled as I had a rush emotion. “I don’t know.” I had to swallow the panic and urge to scream.

“Alice?” I asked tentatively into the darkness but fearing what may be hidden in it.

There was no response.

And then there was a gasp of breath. I stilled.

It was Alice, I just knew it. I yanked at the ties trying to get free but they cut into my skin. But there was something driving me, fear. I pulled and pulled, pushing through the pain until they gave way.

A long breath rattled and hung in the air.

Then there was nothing. Silence.

Fear gripped me a way I could not explain.

“What’s happening Hadley?”

“I think it’s Alice.” My voice husky as it began to dawn what I was experiencing.

“Where is she?”

I was shaking so badly I could barely function as I voiced her name into the dark, hoping I was wrong. Praying she would answer me back but she never did.

I whimpered softly.

“No one can harm you,” Dr. Ford repeated in her calm and soothing voice.

I nodded.

“She is with me.” I whispered, fearing someone would hear me.

I yanked at the ties and they loosened. As quietly as I could I crawled to where I heard the gasp, afraid of what I would find.

There was no one else. I had to.

At first the floor was cold and then it was I put my hand in some sort of liquid. I frowned. I stopped to study the feel of it. It was too thick to me water. Then I smelled something different in the air. It was metal.

“What are you doing now?” The voice of the doctor cut in.

“I’m trying to find her.” My hand extended out into the dark and I felt something.

The scream I wanted to release did not leave my lips. I had to be quiet for fear I would die as well.

There was light and for the briefest moment light illuminated the room.

It was Alice and she wasn’t breathing. There was blood on her face.