I eyed out Dallas who took a swig of beer while seated onto sofa and his feet resting on the small table while he watched TV. He looked so relaxed and carefree while I was a tight bundle of nerves ready to explode. He was effectively my babysitter while Jack had left to run some errands.

I had insisted I would be fine, the daylight was far less scarier than the night but Jack had insisted he wasn’t willing to take any chance. I had finally relented when I realized that no amount of protesting was going to change his mind. Once his mind was made it was impossible to sway hence the best friend watching over me.

I still remembered my short conversation with him when he had found me when I disappeared from lunch. He had reminded me to consider Jack before I did anything rash. He was a good friend to Jack and I couldn’t blame him for that.

To outsiders, my actions seemed selfish and rash, but to someone who even had an inkling of what I was going through would understand it was survival, the only way I knew how.

“I don’t bite Hadley,” Dallas murmured absentmindedly, not moving his attention from the football game he was watching so intently.

The noise from the TV was distracting and harsh, I ached for the peace drugs would give for a short while.

I cleared my throat from the doorway of the kitchen. “I’m not scared of you.” My throat felt scratching and raw.

I didn’t trust people like I trusted Jack.

“Then stop stalking me from the doorway,” he added, before taking a gulp of his beer.

“I’m not stalking, I’m just not good with people,” I argued, hating to interact with people.

I frowned, forcing myself to leave the safety of the doorway and making an attempt to sit beside him, keeping enough of a distance to feel like I was in control. There were so many things at play, so many things I had to keep a tight control over so I wouldn’t feel panicked.

“Jack trusts me right?” He moved his legs to sit up straight, turning to face me. He set his drink down on the table.

I nodded nervously, still not feeling at ease like I would around Jack.

“And you trust Jack?”

“Uh yes.” Totally, without any doubts.

“Then you should be able to trust me Hadley.”

I released a breath. “I’m not sure it works like that.”

“It’s logic,” he shrugged, like that was enough.

Jack did trust him enough to leave me in his care when he feared for my safety. Besides I had pretty much known him as long as I had Jack even though I hadn’t interacted as much with him.

Jack had saved me. And with that came something I couldn’t explain to him. It was not transferable, not even with all the logic in the world. It simply didn’t work like that but I wasn’t going to explain that to him.

“When will Jack be back?” I asked, needing to know how much longer I would be subjected to his company.

He checked his phone that was lying on the table. “He said he would be back by lunch time. Maybe another hour.”

I nodded and clasped my hands together.

“I’m not going to hurt you Hadley. I wish you’d stop acting like I’m about to pull out a knife and cut you into tiny pieces.” He reached for his beer and put his feet up again, moving his attention back to the football game.

I swallowed hard. I couldn’t explain why I feared people the way I did.

“You still play?” I forced myself to try and make some sort of conversation, feeling rusty with trying to make small talk but couldn’t stand the silence.

“No. I wasn’t good enough to make it. And then there didn’t seem to be any point in continuing with it.” His tone wistful.

I remembered him being pretty good in high school. He was athletic but I found him difficult to talk to. Whereas Jack was easy to be around, I didn’t feel that way around Dallas.

“So have you thought about what you’re going to do, now that you’re clean?” he asked, taking me by surprise.

Clean. He knew about the drugs. It made winded me that he knew that. I don’t know how that made me feel, all I knew is it didn’t make me feel good in any way.

“No, I haven’t planned that far ahead.”

I was just trying to get through each day, I wasn’t looking into the future for fear I did not have one. Few people would be able to understand that. Jack did.

Barely able to shoulder the reality I was living, I could not even comprehend trying to lead a normal life with the pressures that went with it. I doubted I would even be able to hold down a job at this stage.

Beside, my priority, was trying to remember what happened so I could help Jack catch the man who had killed his sister.

He studied me a few moments as if contemplating something.

“Living like this isn’t good for either of you. You’re a constant reminder of the worst day of his life, and he is the same for you. How can either of you move on if you’re reminded of death and pain every time you look at each other.”

He allowed his words to hang in the air between us, as I digested them. I was a little stunned at his directness. No beating around the bush. He did have a point, even if I didn’t want to hear it.

“I know,” I whispered, my throat feeling raw.

Honestly, I didn’t know how to do any of this without Jack. I didn’t even for a nano second believe I would do it on my own. When I had been on my own, drugs had given me a reprieve. And I couldn’t promise I wouldn’t follow down the same destructive path if I was alone again without him to lean on.

He gave me a sympathetic look. “What happened to Alice was…heartbreaking but even if you catch the killer. What does that do? Nothing will bring her back. He is living and breathing this every second for the last three years and he is no closer than the day he found you.”

Unable to talk for fear the emotion that I was struggling with would be heard in my voice so I nodded.

“Sorry,” he said, sitting up and clearing his throat. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I have this terrible habit of saying things without thinking about how they affect people. He is a good guy but there are some things even he can’t right no matter how much he tries.”

I gave a one armed shrug. “It’s fine. Really.”

“He’s my best friend. I just want the best for him. What happened to you and Alice…it was awful but she is not coming back and at some stage he has to face a life without her.”

How could I begrudge that he wanted that for his friend? If I could give it to Jack I would. No one deserved it more than he did.

“I get it.” My throat felt raw with emotion.

Feeling more emotional than I could handle I left Dallas to head back to my room. Still deep in thought I stopped outside my bedroom to release an emotional breath, trying to rid myself of the excess of emotions my conversation with Dallas had stirred.

There was a room a door down from mine. Usually it was closed but this time is was slightly ajar.

I wasn’t nosy by nature but there was something about it that beckoned to me and I found myself walking toward it. It would be an invasion of Jack’s privacy to snoop around but I promised myself just a peak. Assuring myself I needed to know the full layout of the apartment to feel at ease.

As I pushed the door slowly I looked down the hallway to ensure I didn’t disturb Dallas. The room was dark.

That was strange, especially in the middle of sunny day.

I flipped the switch. Immediately light flooded the darkness away.

My eyes adjusted to the sudden change in light. I gasped in horror.