Adonis

It was difficult being around her all the time. I wanted to keep her close to keep a eye on her but it was also wreaking havoc on my emotions. She had taken me by surprise when she had sat down beside me on the sofa. When she leaned into me and lay her head against my shoulder. The emotions that I had been trying to smother for months tried to break free. The sweet smell of her hair had made it nearly unbearable. What I'd been watching faded to the background as every sense of mine tuned into each slight movement from her.

It had been pure torture. That night I had to have a cold shower and I lay awake staring up at the ceiling wondering how I was going to cope with being so close to her and not lose control.

So close but so far. I didn't want to rush her into something she was uncomfortable with but I wasn't sure I had the strength to do the right thing. She deserved it but I wasn't a saint.

The next day I tried to keep my distance. It made it easier to deal with my feelings for her. I had been sitting on the bed giving myself a much needed break from her company when I had felt as if someone was watching me. When I had peered over my shoulder I had seen Lacey standing in the doorway to my bedroom watching me.

It had been unexpected. Our eyes held. The pull to her was strong but I resisted telling myself I was doing it for her. Her expression was hesitant. I wanted to gather her in my arms and press my lips to hers. Needing to revel in memories that were possibly lost for her forever.

But I didn't.. I didn't hold her in my arms and press my lips to hers like I wanted. Instead I pulled my eyes from her and stared out the window. Hearing her retreat I felt a pang of guilt for shutting her out even though I knew I was doing the right thing. The surgery should have been the hardest part but it wasn't. This, living day in and day out, without her was my own personal hell.

Later I had taken her to see Dr. Clark and he had lectured her for drinking while taking her medication. She'd taken it without complaint, she knew she'd been putting herself at risk.

The hour with the shrink took its toll on her. By the time I got her into the car and we were on our way back to my house she was exhausted. My protectiveness came out in full force at the sight of her pale face as she leaned her head against headrest.

It didn't take long for her to fall asleep. I drove back in silence, throwing the occasional side glance in her direction to check on her.

It was only when I parked outside the front of the house did I realise I was in a little bit of a predicament. She was so peaceful with the steady rise and fall of her chest as she slept oblivious to the decision I was dealing with. I could wake her up but after the day she'd had she needed the sleep and I didn't want to wake her. That left me with the only alternative. I'd have to carry her into the house. I got out the car as quietly as I could. I unlocked the front door before going back to my car and opening the door to the passenger side.

As I reached for her I felt that familiar pull to her but this time I wasn't fighting it as picked her up in my arms and held her close. For a brief moment I hugged her close, breathing her in before I carried her to her room.

She murmured softly was I lay her down on her bed. Still sleeping she hugged her pillow tightly as I stood watching her. Reaching down I trailed my fingers against her cheek. She was so beautiful and I allowed myself to allow my emotions to break through to the surface as I gazed down at her taking in every fine feature of her face. I pulled my fingers from her skin. The separation felt like a sear of pain in my heart.

With one last lingering look and a deep breath I released sharply I left her room before I did something I'd regret.

I busied myself in the kitchen with dinner while Lacey slept. I was pretty sure she'd be hungry when she woke up. I grabbed a couple of steaks. While the meat sizzled in the frying pan I cut up a salad. When I placed the steaks on the plate Lacey entered the kitchen still rubbing her sleepy eyes.

"It smells so good," she murmured as I switched off the stove.

I put both plates down on the small table in the kitchen as she pulled in the chair across from me.

"I'm so hungry," she murmured with a smile which hit me like a sledgehammer to the heart. The smallest action from her could tip my world upside down.

We ate in an awkward silence.

"You feeling better?" I asked softly trying to break the uncomfortable atmosphere.

"Much better," she replied. She paused for a moment as she seemed to be contemplating something. "How am I going to go to therapy if I've got to go with you on tour?"

"I've organised with her to carry on the sessions remotely."

I had spent a lot of time figuring out how to continue getting her help while still keeping her close to me.

Unable to eat anymore I shoved my plate away and leaned back in my chair slightly.

"That was great," she said as she finished the last of her food.

"Anytime," I said getting up and reaching for her plate.

"No," she said stopping me. "You cooked, the least I can do is the dishes."

"Sure."

I watched as she took the dishes to the sink. Watching I contemplated what our lives could be like if we could just get back to what we had shared before.

She finished the task and turned to face me as she dried her hands. My gaze held here. She stilled.

Fighting my internal battle I stood up and took a step towards her. In my mind I kept thinking of every reason to walk away and not give into the urge to throw caution to the wind. I wanted to kiss her so badly. My eyes dropped to her lips as the edge of her tongue swept across her bottom lip.

I lifted my eyes to hers. It was torture.

"Don't look at me like that," I finally said.

"Like what?" she asked innocently but she knew exactly what I meant.

"Like you want me to kiss you."

She didn't deny it and my heart began to race.

"What if I want you to kiss me?" she whispered.

And that was it. Any reasoning or argument went straight out the window. There was no time to feel guilt at my weakness when I strode over to her stopping toe to toe. My one hand snaked around her waist pulling her closer as my other hand held the back of her neck as I kissed her.

There were no coherent thoughts there was only the feeling her soft lips under mine. Her hands flatted on my chest as she kissed me back. I groaned against her lips.

Our kiss deepened as our tongues tangled. She groaned slightly and I felt the fierceness our chemistry swirling together pulling us closer together, making it impossible to tear ourselves away from each other.

I broke our kiss but held her close as I tried to whether the storm of senses taking hold of me.

"I should walk away but I can't," I whispered, still feeling like we were spinning.

She pulled away slightly.

"I don't want you to."

I didn't want this to be something she would regret but I didn't have the strength to do the right thing so when I kissed her the again I didn't stop.

**********

Lacey

His lips were against mine and all I could concentrate on was the thumping of my heart that echoed in my ears.

It felt like a tidal wave had hit me and Adonis was the only one who could save me. My hands bunched his shirt, holding onto him as my legs turned to jelly and refused to hold me up.

His hands on my hips picked me up and set me down on the kitchen counter. He moved to stand between my legs. My hands drifted up to snake around his neck as he continued to kiss me. His kisses made me melt inside. There was something more to them. It wasn't just that he was a great kisser, it went deeper than that. It was like he was familiar with kissing me and seemed to know exactly what turned me on.

For a moment I hesitated and I pulled away. I didn't want to remember why he knew all this stuff and I didn't.

"Harp."

My name spoken from softly from his lips made me close my eyes briefly. My hands moved down to his chest as I struggled to get ahold of the mixture of feelings swirling inside me.

"I'm sorry," he said as he brushed the softest kiss to my forehead. My eyes opened and he looked down at me.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," I said hoarsely, unable to keep the emotion I was feeling from my voice. "I want this."

My hands held his shirt. I was scared he was going to pull away from me.

He studied me and brushed my cheek softly with his fingers.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his eyes scanning my features for any sign that I wasn't.

I nodded and I tightened my hold on his shirt. He stepped closer and his arms enfolded me. I lay head against his shoulder.

"I should be strong enough to stop this," he said. He pulled away and our eyes found each other. He looked so vulnerable in that moment. I wasn't used to seeing this side of him and I couldn't help feeling that in my lost memories I had.

"But I'm not. I'll give you whatever you want," he added.

I felt relieved and nervous at the same time. Relieved because he wasn't going to push me away and nervous for what was about to happen. It didn't matter that I wasn't a virgin anymore and that we had already shared that experience together. For me it would be my first time.

"I want you," I said firmly, leaving him without a doubt.

"Okay," he said. He helped me down from the counter and I felt a moment of disappointment when it felt like he was going to change his mind but his hand grabbed mine and he led me to his bedroom.

Nervously excited I stepped inside. He turned to stand in face me. I was unsure of what to do next but he didn't waste anytime. His hands cradled my face and he kissed me. It was long deep and sensual. My hands covered his as I closed my eyes.

The familiar flutter of butterflies in my stomach were replaced a burning sensation that tingled through me. My skin felt heated to his touch as he released my face and skimmed his hands down my arms as his lips left mine. My tongue swept across my bottom lip. My heart was beating faster and I splayed my hands against his hard chest. Beneath my hands I could feel his heart beating erratically like mine.

It was then I realised that as much as he affected me I affected him. I felt a lift in my confidence at the realisation.

"You still sure this is what you want?" he asked. His fingers on the bottom of my shirt.

"Yes, I want this," I answered. "I want you."

"You have me."

He lifted my shirt and I helped him discard it. Feeling exposed I crossed my arms. He smiled that sexy smile with his dimples.

"You're beautiful," he murmured as his eyes swept over me. The look in his eyes left me with no doubt that to him I was the most beautiful girl.

He discarded his shirt. The sight of his half naked body made me step forward and run my hands over his the hard muscles of his chest. There was no rational thought just a need for action.

His hands reached for my chin as his lips covered mine. I kissed him back. I opened my mouth slightly as his tongue entered and slid against mine. Lost in the want of him I felt his hands on the button of my jeans. He unbuttoned them. Our lips broke apart as he slid the jeans to the floor. His hands running down the sides of my legs made me breathless. I stepped out of the jeans. He unbuttoned his jeans and they dropped to the floor.

Down to our underwear he engulfed me in his arms as his lips slammed against mine. His kisses becoming more heated. With his hands on my hips he lifted me and I automatically wrapped my legs around his waist.

He walked over to his bed and he lay me down against the soft sheets. He settled between my legs. One hand supported his weight while the other one trailed up my leg and at the knee he held it tightly. I leaned up with both my hands on either side of his face holding him while I kissed him.

My lips trailed down the column of his neck and he groaned as he ground against me. The need for him increased my desperate kisses as he covered my body with his. I lifted my back slightly as his hands went to the clasp of my bra. He threw it on the floor as his mouth covered mine. Feeling our skin slide against each other was one of the most erotic thing I'd ever experienced.

He shifted off me long enough to discard his boxers and then his hands went to the sides of my panties. I lifted my hips slightly as he slid them down my legs before discarding them on floor along with our other clothing.

There was no hesitation as he knelt on the bed and them moved his body to fit over mine. His lips captured mine as I felt my initial nervousness return.

I pulled away from him for a moment. Still breathing hard I held his concerned gaze.

"I'm nervous," I whispered. With no memory of what I'd done before I was effectively a virgin all over again.

"We can stop," he offered but I was already shaking my head.

"I want you...I just want you to take it slow," I told him. I swallowed.

"I will."

He leaned over me to get something from the side table next to his bed. It was a condom and I was thankful he was responsible enough to remember. Honestly it hadn't crossed my mind, I had been too caught up in the moment.

He tore the foil packet and rolled the protection on.

I trusted him in that moment with my vulnerability and my feelings for him. He took it slow and I was more than ready by the time our bodies came together in the most earth shattering experienced.

Breathing hard but reveling in the after affects of the act that brought us as close together as two people could get. We climaxed together and my body trembled. Adonis leaned his head in the curve of my shoulder and I held him tightly not wanting the moment to end.

I was vulnerable to him and him to me.

After a few minutes as I held him my heart began to slow. He kissed my cheek as he lifted himself off me and disappeared into the bathroom for a few minutes. He got back into the bed and I snuggled up to him.

Afterwards in the darkness I lay with my head against his chest and he wrapped an arm around me holding me close.

Overwhelmed with my feelings I remained quiet trying to work through my innermost thoughts. The act on a physical level had been mind blowing but it had affected me on an emotional level as well. I wasn't sure how to deal with it.

As if sensing my inner turmoil he pressed a kiss to my forehead and I closed my eyes for a moment trying to push my thoughts away. I just wanted to concentrate on the warmth that washed over me at the slightest affection from him. I loved how he made me feel. I just loved him. The soft touch of his hand down my arm and his steady breathing pulled me into a peaceful sleep.