Adonis

I was exhausted. I hadn't slept much. I rubbed my eyes briefly trying to clear my foggy mind, I needed to get my stuff together because the driver would be here soon.

Feeling overwhelmed I sat down for a minute to catch my breath. She had remembered something. It hadn't been an actual memory but her subconscious had remembered how to cook pancakes. Was it the start? Would she remember more? I closed my eyes briefly as mind trailed over our most precious moments together. Hope flared in me. Unlike before there was a real possibility that she would remember. I couldn't stifle the hope I felt. Before I had been convinced that she was never going to remember and that the only way to help her was to find a way for her to deal with it - hence the shrink.

But after last night there was a real possibility that she was going to remember. I had promised myself I was off this rollercoaster but the choice wasn't really mine to make. I felt what I felt, irrespective of any logic that argued against it. Dropping my head into my hands I tried to reason with myself.

Not only was I protecting myself I was also protecting her. It was too much pressure for her to deal with my emotions on top of everything she had to deal with already. I had to be the stronger one, I had to be the one to step back and give her the space she needed to find herself.

I dragged a hand through my hair before inhaling deeply. I needed to be strong and stable for her. She had to concentrate on getting better, that was what was most important.

I had told her I couldn't do this anymore but the truth was I couldn't give up on her or us.

Remembering her face after our night together I felt that familiar pain in my chest. It reminded me that despite how I felt about her or the fact that she was starting to remember I had to stand by my decision to keep my distance.

The sound of the doorbell jerked me into a rush of activity to get my stuff. Lacey was in the hallway with a small duffel bag slung over her shoulder. Even first thing in the morning without any makeup she was the most beautiful girl to me. She stifled a yawn as I came to stand beside her.

"You can get some sleep on the plane," I told her before I opened the door.

She nodded and stepped out first. The driver took her duffel bag from her and loaded into the trunk. I opened the door for her and she slid in. Once we had everything loaded I slid into the sit beside her.

The ride to the airport was quiet. I gave her a side glance but she was too preoccupied with her thoughts to notice. Was she thinking about the night before? I looked away and thought about the two of us in the kitchen when she had made me pancakes for the first time. I subconsciously smiled when I remembered how she had smiled at me. It was the type of smile that hit me straight in the chest and left me short of breath.

My thoughts drifted to the my present to her. The necklace with the harp pendant. My hand went to where it lay beneath my shirt. I had started to wear it again. The night Lacey had passed out and I had brought her to my house I had stopped wearing it for fear she would see it. I didn't know how she would react if she saw it. I couldn't explain why I was wearing it. It didn't belong to me.

Before when she hadn't known about us I had kept it safe with me to hold onto what we had shared. But now that she knew the truth about us I knew I should return it to her. Something held me back. I wasn't ready to give it to her and I didn't think she was ready to take it back from me.

I had wanted to give it to her when she remembered everything but despite the small breakthrough last night I wasn't convinced that she would remember everything else. Besides without the memory, the necklace meant more to me than it did to her. With my silent decision made I mulled over my thoughts.

Once we got to the airport we were rushed through to the private jet that had been chartered for us. Link and Trisha were already on the plane and were seated. As I entered behind Lacey, Link got up to greet us.

"Hey man," Link greeted me. We bumped fists.

"Hey."

"Lacey," Link greeted her by pulling her in to a hug.

"Hi," she greeted returning his hug.

Trisha stood up and I introduced her to Lacey. I didn't miss the question look she gave me, I ignored it. I didn't want to have to explain to anyone what exactly Lacey was to me right now, because even I didn't know that answer. It was complicated.

I made sure I sat beside Lacey. That familiar protectiveness I felt for her came out when I saw the nervousness etched into her tired face. It was her first flight and I didn't want her to be scared.

She clasped her hands together nervously as she peered out the window. I placed my hand over hers and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Don't be scared," I whispered to her.

"I can't help it," she whispered back.

Sage made it just in time. He wasn't a morning person so the only greetings we got was a grunt in our direction before he dropped into one of the vacant seats. Once everyone was seated the air hostess checked everyone had their seatbelt before the plane engines started up. Lacey's alarmed eyes shot to mine.

I took her hand into mine and held it reassuringly.

"Trust me, it'll be okay," I murmured to her, my mouth close to her ear.

The plane raced down the runway and when it lifted off the ground both her hands held mine in a tight grip. Her nervous eyes watching the ground drop further away.

"Breathe," I told her and she took in a deep breath before releasing it.

I wanted to put my arm around her and pull her closer to me but it was hard enough just holding her hand and trying to keep my heartbeat regular. She had the power to affect me with the smallest touch and right now I was holding on by a thread.

To keep my distance, emotionally, I had to try and keep my distance physically. Once the plane reached causing altitude I let go of her hand. Lacey continued to stare out of the window. It wasn't long before she drifted off to sleep. I got the air hostess to bring me a blanket for her and I covered her with it.

Feeling exhausted I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep. Once we landed there wasn't a lot of time before we had some interviews scheduled.

My mind was running through our schedule for the day. I didn't like leaving Lacey on her own at the hotel but I couldn't exactly let her tag along to interviews. It was raise questions I didn't want to answer.

Something brushed my arm and I opened my eyes. Lacey rested her head against my arm. I was transfixed as she murmured something in her sleep. Seeing her sleeping so peacefully beside me pulled at my feelings for her and I reached out and touched her face she murmured something again.

"Gray.”

I swallowed hard. In her sleep she was saying my name. It pulled at that possessiveness inside of me but I pushed it away. I didn't have any right to be possessive over her.

What she said next had me reeling.

"Aiden."

Shocked I leaned closer. Aiden. Had I misheard?

In the barest whisper she whispered his name again. There was no mistaking it, she'd definitely said Aiden's name. Was she remembering something in her dreams? Were her memories coming alive in her dreams?

Trying not to get my hopes up I tried to calm my beating heart. She had met Aiden again after her memory loss so it didn't necessarily mean that she was regaining her memories. My heart began to burst with the hope that she could remember everything.

**********

Lacey

I burrowed deeper into the bed not ready to wake up. The pillows were so soft and fluffy. Even the bedding was so luxurious. I sighed as I turned to lay on my back. Opening an eye I looked around the dark room. Not sure what time it was I picked up my phone from the beside table.

London was six hours ahead and I was still feeling out of sorts. The flight had been seven hours and when we'd arrived at the hotel I had still been tired despite sleeping for nearly the entire flight. After a shower and a change of clothes Adonis told me to take it easy before he'd left for some scheduled interviews.

It was the first glimpse into his hectic life. I had always thought it was glamorous but I was realizing it was hard work and long hours. Adonis and the rest of the guys worked very hard to attain the level of success that they had.

It was five o'clock in the afternoon. I wasn't tired anymore so I got up. It hadn't been the best idea to have slept most of the day away, it would take longer to work through my jet lag. Still dressed in the clothes I travelled in I wondered out of my room into the suite I shared with Adonis. The suite was empty reminding me that I was alone.

He had told me to order whatever I wanted from room service. I found the menu in one of the drawers. My stomach rumbled as I scanned the list. Deciding on a hamburger and chips I called room service and ordered my food.

I stood by the window and looked over the beautiful city of London. It was breathtaking. I didn't know much about England except there was a royal family and the weather was always rainy.

I sat down on the sofa and started to watch some TV while I waited for my food. I had no idea how long Adonis was going to be away for. Someone knocked on the door and I got up to answer it expecting it to be my food but the sight of Trisha took me by surprise.

"Hi," she greeted and I tried to return her smile but it felt forced. I didn't feel completely comfortable with her and I had no idea why.

"Sorry to disturb you but I just need to drop off some stuff for Gray," she said as she stepped into the suite. My stomach tightened at the sound of his nickname on her lips.

"Sure," I said closing the door behind her.

She had some papers in her hand and she headed straight into his room. Something uncomfortable unrolled in the pit of my stomach and it took me a few moments to figure out what I was feeling. I was jealous. I had no right to be considering Adonis had called time on us. It still didn't stop how I felt about him or my reaction to a girl in his space. And by the looks of it Trisha was very comfortable in his space. I frowned as I waited for her to come out of his room.

It wasn't long before she walked into living room.

"How are you feeling?" she asked and I frowned.

Did she know about what had happened to me, the brain tumor and surgery? Or was she simply asking about my jet lag?

"I'm fine."

I didn't want to believe that Adonis would talk about my illness with a stranger.

"He has been very worried about you," she added, while she studied me.

He had told her about me. It made me feel betrayed in a way.

"How much did he tell you?" I asked bluntly, feeling my defenses come up.

"Not a lot," she explained hastily. "A lot of it was covered in the media."

That made my stomach drop. It had been in the media?

"Anyway...let me know if you need anything," she said before she left.

As the door slammed close I sat down on the sofa. How much had been covered? There was only way to find out how much. I got my laptop and opened it up. Nerves knotted in my stomach as I waited for it to boot up. It took a few minutes to connect to the internet. I keyed my name into google and hit the search button.

It was the most unreal experience to see website after website come up with articles that covered my surgery and recovery. Feeling raw and vulnerable as I scanned the articles.

In one of the articles was a picture of Adonis leaving the hospital. It hit me hard. I had just started to realize how much I had put him through and seeing a picture of how exhausted he looked at the time there was a chance I wasn't going to make it.

As I studied the picture I looked closer. It wasn't just exhaustion I saw but something more. Unlike his usual self who was always confident and in control, he looked so lost. Like momentarily he had lost direction. I was so affected by the photo I allowed my eyes to scan every inch of his drawn face, taking in every strained line. My fingers touched the screen.

Pulling my attention away from the photo I read the article. After I finished I pushed away from the desk. I stood up, feeling a mixture of feelings that were difficult to decipher. I felt guilty for putting him through what I had and the fact that he'd only referred to me as a good friend upset me.

Logically I knew he only did it to keep me out of the limelight but something clenched in my chest.

Someone knocked on the door. It was my order. I opened the door a waiter brought my food in. I thanked him before he left closing the door behind him. My hunger before had been pushed away by the anxious knots in my stomach so I didn't eat much before I gave up.

For the next two hours all I could think about was the article about my surgery and the photo of Adonis. I tried to keep my mind busy with TV but there was no taking my mind off what I'd read. I got up and walked over to the laptop and looked over the article again.

The sound of the door opening lifted my heart and I turned to see Adonis walk into the room. He looked tired.

"That bad?" I asked as I walked toward him.

"Nothing a few hours of sleep won't solve," he said before yawning.

"Whoever thought being a rock star was easy clearly hasn't seen how hard you guys work," I told him trying to make him smile and it worked. The edge of his lips tipped upward in a dimpled smile.

"Yeah. How was your day?" he asked walked to me. His hand rubbed the back of his neck.

"Boring," I replied. "I haven't done much."

"I'm sorry," he replied. "We don't get a lot of free time on these trips."

I understood that this was work and not a holiday.

"It's okay, I was trying to catch up on my sleep. I'm sure I'll get a chance to get out and do some sightseeing tomorrow."

It was my first time overseas and I wasn't going to spend the entire trip coupes up in the hotel room.

He frowned.

"I'll organize someone to take you out tomorrow," he said.

"I can go out on my own," I replied with a shrug. I didn't want to put any more pressure on him.

"I know that," he said taking another step closer. "But I'd feel better if I know you with someone that knows the city. I don't want to spend most of my day worrying about you."

It wasn't meant as dig at me but I was feeling emotionally raw and it hurt. I didn't want to be just something else he had to worry about. It made me feel more like a burden.

"Okay," I replied trying to keep the hurt out of my voice.

"I need a shower," he said before he turned to the direction of his room.

Something caught his attention and he stopped. The laptop. Which was still open the article. I held my breath as he stepped closer and angled the screen to get a better look. I had nothing to hide but I still felt like I'd been caught with my hand in the cookie jar. He scanned the article. After a few minutes he closed the laptop. He turned to face me.