Reece

One hour became two. Then another passed. I felt jittering and anxious. I couldn’t even look at coffee anymore. I had hit my caffeine limit. The vending machine nearby had lost its appeal hours ago. My eyes fixed on the doors I was watching, hoping the surgeon would walk through them to tell us everything had gone well.

But for a moment I had to fight the fear that he could very well give us the worst news. I shook my head. No I couldn’t even consider that possibility.

Max rang and I made my way to the edge of the waiting room, as far away as I could get from Aiden who was watching.

“Hey,” I breathed, feeling the weight of what I had just done with Aiden weighing on every word I spoke.

“How’s things going?” he asked.

I let out a heavy breath. “The waiting is the worst.”

There was silence.

“If you need me, I can be there in ten minutes.”

It was the last thing I needed. What if he could see the betrayal? What if he picked up on the awkwardness between Aiden and I? I couldn’t chance it. Besides I had enough on my plate with Lacey, I couldn’t cope with anymore.

“Thanks but I’m okay. Hopefully it’s only going to take a few more hours.”

“Let me know how it goes.”

“I will.” I ended the call. I have never felt more disconnected from him.

Even now I could still feel the imprint of Aiden’s hands on my body and the pressure of his mouth against mine. I lifted my hand to touch my lips.

Had Lacey’s illness been the start of the decline of my relationship with him? At the same time my connection with Aiden had strengthen to such an extent I had thrown everything to the wind to hook up with him in the janitor’s closet. I was still mortified at my actions. This wasn’t who I was. As someone who had been cheated on more than once I knew what it felt like to be in Max’s shoes. How could I do this to him?

Right now I couldn’t even look at myself or Aiden. I was just trying to hang onto the last bit of calm and sanity I possessed to keep my shit together.

When I had returned from my hook up with Aiden I soothed my hair afraid someone would see something to reveal what we had just done but thankfully no one noticed. My shame was my secret. And I was thankful for that. What would Lacey think of my thoughtless actions?

Back in my chair I linked my hands oblivious to those around, locked in my own hell hole of guilt. I tried to keep my thoughts from thinking the worst outcome for Lacey. But no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t keep Aiden from entering my thoughts much to my own disgust. He sat only a few chairs away from him and I swear I could feel the heat of his gaze on me.

I wanted to concentrate on how I was going to help my friend recover from the surgery.

I was hoping for the best case scenario where she would recover in a week or two and be the same Lacey I had known for years.

It felt like an eternity and then the doors opened. Dr Clark, Lacey’s surgeon walked into the waiting room. I shot up to my feet, feeling slightly dizzy. I studied his features as he cleared his thought. I couldn’t tell if it was going to be good or bad. Then I felt someone take my hand and I realized Aiden stood beside me. No one else noticed. I shouldn’t have felt strength in his touch but I did. I squeezed his hand tightly as I waited for the surgeon to reveal what happened.

“We got it out.”

Everything else he said I didn’t hear. I held onto the his words. We got it out.

I turned to Aiden. He mirrored my relief and I hugged him.

Relief was an understatement. It was a new lease on life and she would get to do all the things she had wanted.

When Aiden released me I murmured a thanks. No matter what had happened between us he had always been supportive and that much I appreciated.

But the wait wasn’t over. I wanted to see her before I headed home to get some shut eye and a shower. I yawned. It had been a long day.

Aiden kept his distance after that. And it was probably for the best.

Everyone went in to see Lacey briefly. It was one of the hardest moments. To see someone I loved lying unresponsive in a hospital bed with machines breathing for her was difficult to take in. Even though I kept assuring myself that she was fine it was still difficult to see her like that and not allow it to shake my steady world.

I was tired and emotionally exhausted when I came out of her room. Aiden pushed off the wall outside her room.

“Do you want a lift home?” he asked.

I nodded. I was too tired to question his motives or my own. Maybe it was the fact I needed to get out of there, the pristine white walls and stale coffee to allow myself to feel more human and allow myself to hope.

I said my goodbyes to everyone and headed out the hospital with Aiden.

It was dark outside and I had no idea what time it was.

In the car on the way to my house I leaned my head against the window and closed my eyes.

**********

“Reece.” The voice sounded so familiar.

Aiden. I opened my eyes. I frowned taking in the surroundings and trying to figure out what had happened.

“You fell asleep.”

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. “Sorry,” I murmured.

It was still dark outside. We were parked outside my house.

I should have just said thanks and gotten out of the car but I didn’t.

“You okay?” he asked.

“She just looked so vulnerable.” My voice shook.

“The main thing is she survived. She’s strong, she will recover. She will live happily ever after with Adonis.”

I needed to hear that so badly. I nodded. He had a way of saying exactly what I needed. I was fearful of what my mind would conjure up when I was on my own. What if something had gone wrong and we didn’t know it yet? What if she didn’t wake up?

“I should go.” I said the words but made no move to get out of his car.

Maybe I hoped he would tell me to but he kept silent. But the truth was I felt connected with him in a way that I couldn’t explain. His presence kept me from thinking the worst when it came to Lacey. I wasn’t ready be alone with my thoughts.

“Reece.” It was the way he said it that made me look at him. His eyes held mine.

“I can’t be by myself right now.”

He rubbed his forehead. “Then stay with me.”

I looked down at my clothes. I had to change. Questions would be raised if I showed up at the hospital in the same clothes I had worn the night before.

“I just need to grab a change of clothes.”

“I’ll wait.”

I got into the house silent without waking up my parents and snuck up to my room to shove some clothes into a duffel bag. I left a note stuck to the door of the fridge to say I would be back later.

Quietly, I left locking the door behind me.

I got into Aiden’s car and threw my bag into the backseat.

The drive to Aiden’s didn’t take long and he parked in the driveway.

He grabbed my bag from the backseat while I got out. I followed him inside his house and upstairs to his room.

Once inside he closed the door and put my bag on the floor.

“Will your parents mind me being here?” I asked, softly. Not wanting him to get into trouble.

He shook his head.

“But I’m sure Max won’t be happy about this.”

I flinched like he had struck me.

My first reaction was to leave. I grabbed my bag. “I’ll leave.” But I never got far.

He pulled me back to him. My back against his chest. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

But it was true. I closed my eyes and felt the guilt sweep over me again.

“I’m not this person,” I whispered. “I don’t cheat. I don’t sleep around.”

I dropped my bag. Aiden’s arms wrapped around me and hugged me close. “Neither do I.”

His breath fanned against my neck and I felt very aware we were alone his room, with a bed.

But this wasn’t the reason I had come over. I know after everything I had experienced with him this was the last place I should be. There was no was to explain why I didn’t want to or couldn’t be anywhere else.

I turned to face him. “I can’t do anything…”

He frowned and dropped him arms to his sides.

“I know we have um this …thing but I honestly just wanted some company. I’m scared if I’m on my own I’m just going to focus on all the things that can still go wrong. Does that make sense?”

I had asked so much of him already, was it really fair to ask him for more under the circumstances?

“I get it.” He nodded. “I feel so wired up I’m not sure how I’m going to get any shut eye.”

I looked to his bed. “I need sleep more than anything right now.” The lack of sleep and worry had taken everything out of me. I didn’t have much left.

“You wanna shower?” he nodded in the direction of the adjoining door on his room.

I nodded. I got my stuff and headed in.

“Give me a minute. I’ll get a towel for you.”

I gripped the sink and took a deep breath before releasing, trying to rid myself from the build up of emotions inside of me. It had been a rough day and I had made a monumental mistake I would still have to face.

But just for tonight I wanted to forget about everything. Just for a few hours.

In the morning I would pick my worries up where I had discarded them briefly and do what I had to. Even when it was hard.

“Here,” Aiden said from the slightly open doorway.

“Thanks.” I took it from him. “I won’t be long.”

He shrugged. “Take your time.”

He closed the door behind him and I stayed there thinking about him. The more time I spent around him the more time I wanted to spend with him. He had a way of calming me in a way I couldn’t explain. But he made me do crazy things. I closed my eyes briefly when I thought about what we had done in the janitor’s closet at the hospital. I was mortified.

Tired, I dragged myself through a shower and I felt a little more human once I had a sleep shirt and shorts on. I brushed my teeth before I left the bathroom.

Aiden was laying on the bed. He was sleeping.

I walked over to the bed and watched him while he was oblivious. Something tugged inside my chest and I put my hand to my chest to stop it. I couldn’t be falling for him already, could I?

Not only had I physically cheated on Max, I had added emotional cheating to it as well.

I wanted to touch him, to glide her hand through his hair but I kept my hand fixed to my side.

He had come into my life and turned everything up side down. I didn’t even know if I could deal with the repercussions. And here was I was studying him like some love sick puppy.

What was wrong with me?

I switched off all the lights and got into the bed. I pulled the covers up to my chin and I lay on my side facing him.

Closing my eyes, I willed myself to sleep but I stayed wide awake. No matter how much I fidgeted, tossed or turned I could not fall asleep.

I glared resentfully at Aiden who was peacefully sleeping beside me. He was still lying on his back. I frowned as I moved a little closer. For a few moments I waited to see if he would awake. Then I moved a little closer. Until finally I rested my head on his shoulder.

I breathed in deeply and exhaled. This time when I closed my eyes I finally fell asleep.

*********

I woke up to the smell of coffee. The room was bright and I squinted as I opened my eyes. Beside me on the table was a steaming up of coffee. The bed beside me was empty. Where was Aiden?

I felt achy and still tired. I sat up and reached for the coffee. Aiden had made me coffee. That familiar tugging in my chest made me smile. I remembered how I took it. The cup was still warm. It had been so thoughtful.

Why couldn’t he be an asshole I didn’t want to be around? But it was the opposite with him. I wanted to be around him.

I sipped the coffee and cradled it in my hands. It was a nice change from the horrible coffee at the hospital.

The door opened and Aiden entered the room. He was dressed in different clothes. How long had he been awake?

“You’re awake.”

I nodded. “Thank you for the coffee.”

“You’re welcome.” He walked over to the bed and sat down. “How are you feeling?”

I gave a one armed shrug. “Half human.”

“Nothing like a couple hours sleep and a good cup of coffee to make things right in the world.” He smiled.

There was no disputing the way I looked at him now. He wasn’t a friend, or just a boy. He was a guy who made me feel things I know I shouldn’t.

“Max called.” And that statement brought me back to reality with a hard thump.

Max.

“He has already called a couple of times on your phone. It’s probably going to be a good idea to give him a call back.”

“He doesn’t know I’m here?” I asked, suddenly regretting sleeping over.

He shook his head. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”

I reached for my phone and saw I had three missed calls from Max.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Aiden said, giving me the privacy to call Max back.

It rang a couple of times before Max answered.

“Hey,” he greeted. He sounded relieved.

“Hi,” I replied, trying to calm my heart.

“I’ve been trying to call but you haven’t been answering. I wanted to check in with you to see how you’re doing.”

“I’m sorry. It’s been hectic and I just woke up.”

There was silence.

“You never let me know how the surgery went.”

I had done a lot more than that. I was going to come clean but I couldn’t do it over the phone. It was something I would have to do face to face. It was the right way to approach it even if it was the last thing I wanted to do right now.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. It was pretty late and I was so tired.”

I looked around Aiden’s room. If Max knew where I was he wouldn’t be happy.

“It’s fine. How did the surgery go?” he asked.

“It was successful. Now we have to wait for her to wake up.”

The last image I had of Lacey stayed in my mind. It was the one of her looking so fragile with the machines around her.

“That’s great new.”

“It is.”

There was more silence.

“It’s just I get the feeling there is something else going on.”

I nearly choked. “What do you mean?”

He couldn’t know, could he? Had Aiden said something? No, he wouldn’t, would he?

“I know you’ve got a lot going on and I don’t want to make a big thing about it but I just can’t help feeling like we’re drifting apart.”

I hadn’t been the only noticing the decline of our relationship.

“I’m sorry. It’s me. I’ve had a lot going on with Lacey and it’s not fair that it’s impacted on our relationship.”

What else could I say? I couldn’t exactly blurt out that I had cheated on him with his close friend. What type of person did that?

I would have to tell him the truth but not right now. I couldn’t deal with this now on top of everything else.

“I get it. I’m sorry. I should be more supportive.”

“I’m hoping once Lacey wakes up we can spend more time together.” And I would have to tell him the truth. I felt awful.

“So what are you up to today?” I asked, trying to make conversation. I wanted to mask over my awkwardness.

“I’m just popping in to see Aiden,” he murmured absentmindedly. “I haven’t seen him for a while and say his car parked outside his house.”

Aiden.

“Yeah.”

Had I said it out loud?

“In fact I’m outside his front door right now.”

There was just no way. It wasn’t possible.

“Really.” I slid out of the bed and shoved everything of mine into the duffel bag.

The doorbell went.

“I got to go.” Had he heard the doorbell over the phone? “Chat later.” I hurried trying to get off the phone before he figured out where I was.

I disconnected the call. For a momentary second I was immobilized. What was I going to do now? He couldn’t find me here.