Reece

The entire car drive to my house was in a heavy silence.

It was only when we arrived outside my house and Aiden turned his car off did he turn to me.

“Home safe and sound,” he murmured.

I reached for the door and unexpectedly he got out. I gave him a puzzle look when I slid out the car and closed the door.

“Walking you to the door,” he mumbled, like it was the most obvious explanation for his action. “You know that chivalrous trait gentlemen have.” It was dark but he could have just watched me from his car while I walked the short distance to my front door.

Feeling a little out of sorts I mumbled a thank you before searching my bag for my house keys.

Just thinking about what happened at the party with Lacey and Adonis agitated my already volatile anger.

Quietly, Aidan walked in step beside me to the door.

I was still searching my bag for my keys. Where the hell were they? I muttered something eligible as frustration set it. With everything going on with Lacey and her tumor I hadn’t been sleeping well. And now I couldn’t even complete simple task of locating my keys in my bag.

I swore under my breath. My actions more hurried as I continued to look inside the inner pockets.

Then my throat burned. No. Now wasn’t the time for that. I just needed a few more minutes to get inside my house and then I could give into the emotions I’d been trying to suppress since I’d discovered the seriousness of Lacey’s situation.

But no amount of control I exerted stopped the tears from silently running down my face. My eyes blurred.

Aiden’s hand touched my arm.

“I can’t find my keys,” I whispered afraid the dam of turmoil was going to break so I refused to look at him. My hands stopped.

“It’s okay.” The calmness in his voice blanketed me.

I swallowed before I looked up to him. The light on the porch sparkles in the reflection in his eyes as he gazed down at me.

“I can’t find my keys,” I repeated. Another tear escaped. It was inconsequential compared to my best friend having a tumor and only a thirty percent chance of survival.

A stranger would have thought I was drunk or crazy but Aiden reached for my bag. “May I?

I nodded as I handed it over to him. He looked inside and within a few moments he gave me my keys. “See they’re here.”

I stared at them feeling dumbfounded. He handed me back my bag.

The way in which he handled me broke through my inner wall and the brave exterior I had been wearing crumbled. Pretending I was strong when I wasn’t.

“I’m scared,” I whispered out loud, giving a voice to the fear that had been eating away at me. My throat tightened and I swallowed. My keys still held tight in my right hand and my bag in my left hand.

“We all are.” This time when he spoke, he didn’t sound so altogether and for the first time I didn’t feel so alone. Trying to be supportive for my best friend while facing the frightening odds she’d been given for survival.

Under the dimly lit porch light we stared at each other. Aiden lifted his hand and brushed the wet tears from my face.

His touch was soft and light. I swallowed. His eyes continued to hold my lost stare as his hand dropped to his side.

“We have to believe she’ll be okay.” He tried to explain. “We have to be strong for her.”

My hands gripped my bag and keys tighter while I nodded trying to gain my composure.

“But...” He had my attention. “…you don’t have to pretend with me.”

My eyes began to water again. He let out a sigh.

“Come here,” he murmured and put his arms around me. He hugged me. I leaned my face against his shirt as I wept softly, tucking my arms around his waist. My emotions needing the release.

“In a few months we’ll be wondering why we ever doubted she’d pull through.” He rested his chin on the top of my head. His heartbeat was steady.

I wanted to believe that more than anything. I took a shaky breath and I released it.

“You feeling better?” he asked.

I nodded and he slackened his hold on me. I tilted my head up to him.

My answer died on my lips when my eyes reached his. His smirky face was gone. His eyes serious as he stared me.

I couldn’t look away or move. I was caught in the moment.

“I...” I couldn’t think.

His hold on me tightened. I couldn’t move even if I wanted to.

His gaze flickered to my lips and I swallowed. My mouth suddenly dry.

Then his lips touched mine.

It was wrong. I knew it. But I didn’t pull away or stop him.

He stopped the kiss to stare down at me for a few seconds. Something I couldn’t explain kept us from breaking apart. I held my breath.

Then his mouth covered mine. My bag and keys forgotten as they slid from my hands so I could wrap my arms his neck.

The pressure of his mouth in my intensified.

My mind fought with all the reasons to stop but I opened my mouth and touched my tongue against his.

He groaned as our tongues moved against each other, tasting. He moved and I felt the wall against my back.

I threaded my hands through his hair anchoring myself to him. My heart raced as he deepened the kiss.

There were no thoughts just actions. His hands moved over my body, touching and feeling. My skin burned beneath his touch.

He broke away and I leaned against the wall trying to regain my balance.

His chest was rising and falling like he’d been running. His eyes held mine.

I put my fingers to my lips. I could still feel his lips on my mine.

I wanted more.

He raked a hand through his hair and swore.

The look on his face broke the spell and the realization of what we’d both done hit me.

I was dating his friend.

“I’m sorry Reece,” he breathed. The turmoil I was starting to feel was mirrored in his eyes. He dropped his hand from his hair.

I shook my head trying to find the right words but I was still trying to wade through the enormity if what I had just done.

I’d cheated on Max. An image of him appeared in my mind. I felt physically ill.

Aiden watched the horror play out across my features.

“I shouldn’t have...”

I put my hand up to stop him. Shaking my head.

Unable to face him I looked down. My keys and bag lay on the ground. He bent down and retrieved them up for me.

I grabbed them as he offered them to me. I held my bag against my chest.

“Reece,” Aiden said. “Say something.”

What was there to say?

“It shouldn’t have happened,” I murmured. My eyes met his. “And it won’t ever happen again.”

He remained silent as I moved to unlock my front door. My hands shook so badly I struggled to unlock it. I wanted to run and hide. To pretend I wasn’t the worst person in the whole wide world.

The door unlocked. I felt the heat of Aiden behind me but I was too afraid to turn around for fear that I wouldn’t be strong enough to resist him.

“Thanks for the lift,” I murmured.

“Reece?” The sound of his voice so close to me sent a shiver down my spine.

But I was a coward. I opened the door and closed it in his face.

I was breathless as I leaned my back against the door. What had I done? I slid down the door and rested my head in the top of my knees as I held them close.

I had enough going on with Lacey. Why would I complicate my life anymore than it needed to be?

But all I could think about was the kiss. How I had lost control. The logical reasoning of who I had just allowed to kiss me didn’t resonate with who I was.

The girl who had allowed it to happen was a stranger to me.

I heard Aiden’s car start and I listened as he drove away.

*********

I was in hell, there was no other way to describe it. The guilt I felt for kissing Aiden ate away at me and the fear for my best friend played on my constantly.

I agonized over what to do. The right thing would have been to come clean to Max and admit what had happened with Aiden but the couple of times he had called I hadn’t been able to do it. There was a chance he would walk away and I couldn’t blame him but I held onto the hope that he would forgive me. It had been a moment of weakness, nothing more.

Surely he would be able to see the stress of what I was going through with Lacey had made me act uncharacteristically. But I was a coward and I kept arguing internally against telling Max anything. I hadn’t even considered the fact that Aiden might say something, I could only hope that he hadn’t.

The few times I had held my phone in my hand and contemplated calling Aiden to talk to him about what happened but I hadn’t been brave enough to tackle it head on. Instead I had put my phone away and carried on like nothing had happened on the outside while I dealt with the guilt on the inside.

There was just too much going on. The most important thing that I concentrated on was Lacey and what she was going through. Later, I would figure out what I was going to do with Max and in the meantime I was going to avoid Aiden at all costs.

Just remembering the way his lips had touched mine made me touch my lips. No. I told myself. I couldn’t think about it, especially when all I could think about was how it had felt. I should be thinking about all the reasons why it had been wrong, so wrong.

I was seated in the kitchen trying to go though some notes from school when my phone rang. I reached for my phone but when I saw the caller ID I set it back down on the table and rose while I backed away from it like it was going to bite me.

It was Aiden. Why was he calling me?

I backed up until my back hit the kitchen counter and I gripped the sides. The ring was insistent but I refused to answer. Finally it stopped.

I inhaled sharply and let the breath out trying to stop myself from panicking.

In the silence that followed I approached the phone when a messaged pinged. I jumped back, startled.

When I finally picked up the phone I saw the message from Aiden.

We need to talk.

I shook my head. No, we didn’t. It had been a mistake, something I didn’t to be reminded of and I certainly didn’t want to talk about it. There was nothing to say.

I ignored the message and sat down again determined to pick up where I had left off but I couldn’t stop thinking about Aiden. The memory of his lips on mine, how my heart had raced and how I had felt gripped me.

No no no! I admonished. I wasn’t going to let it get to me. It was nothing. I reaffirmed in my mind. I wanted Max and I would do anything to ensure we survived this. He was good for me, I told myself.

Aiden. My breath caught in my lungs and there was no disputing the physical memory of how he had swept me away with one kiss. I put my hand to my forehead. What was I going to do? But I was convinced that if I ignored it, it will go away.

I checked my watch. I tidied up my books. Lacey was coming over for a sleepover and I was determined to cheer her up to keep her mind off everything else that was going on. I would keep Aiden as a tightly wrapped up secret, never to be shared with anyone. At this point I was even considering not saying anything to Max.

But every time I thought about him the guilt was heavy in my chest. Could I live with the constant feeling as I tried to hide what I had done? I wasn’t sure I could.

I tired not to think about it as I got ready for Lacey’s sleepover. I got some junk food and I checked my watch just as the doorbell went.

I rushed to the door and pulled it open. Lacey.

“Hey,” I greeted, hugging her tight with both arms. I swallowed the emotion that clogged in my throat before I released her with a smile plastered over my emotions.

“Hi,” she replied. I could see the tension in her features but I was determined she was going to relax tonight.

This wasn’t about the boys that were complicating our lives, it was just about us hanging out as friends celebrating the close friendship we had nurtured over the years.

I wasn’t going to lecture her on her decision to delay the surgery no matter how much it scared me. This was her life and she got to choose what she did with it. I was her friend and it was my job to support it whether I agreed with it or not. Something Adonis hadn’t been able to do.

Every time I thought about him and his behavior at the party made my blood boil and a few choice words came to mind to describe him.

Then I noticed Alex just behind her.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow,” he said to his sister before he gave me nod and turned to leave.

“We are going to have so much fun,” I assured her leading her into the house.

“I smell popcorn,” she sighed.

“It’s all ready. We just need to pick which movie you want to watch.”

She stopped and I turned to face her.

“Thank you.” Her eyes filled with emotion.

“What are friends for,” I reminded her putting an arm around her to hug.

“I wished everyone was taking the news like you are,” she mumbled, leaning her head on my shoulder.

What she didn’t know it was tearing me up inside but I wouldn’t admit it to her. I wasn’t going to be the one to guilt her into making another choice. It wasn’t my place.

Besides I believed that if Adonis hadn’t managed to get her to change her decision, there was nothing any of us could say to change it.

I didn’t want to spend what little time there could be left arguing or fighting with her. I wanted to spend every moment I could reminding her how special her friendship was to me.

“He’ll come around,” I assured her although I wasn’t entirely convinced that was true. I could always go around to see him and try talk him into stop being a jackass but there was no guarantee that would work.

“I hope so,” she sighed.

“Come on,” I said, leading her up to my room where I had laid out all the snacks.

“That’s way too much food,” she said when she took it all in.

“Don’t worry whatever we don’t eat I’ll save for the next time.” I held my smile even when hers waned.

We didn’t know if there would be another one.

I ensured I kept her busy picking a movie before we settled on my bed. I found it difficult to concentrate on the movie. My mind wouldn’t let up, between watching Lacey to ensure she was okay and thinking about things had got so much more complicated with Aiden.

I wanted to be able to talk to her about it but I didn’t want to burden her with more than she already had on her plate. Besides nothing compared to what she was going through. Cheating on Max seemed inconsequential compared to how Lacey’s life hung in the balance.

There was no way to know if she would survive the surgery. Every time I thought about it I felt breathless like there was something tightening around my insides. I couldn’t allow myself to think about it for too long for fear I would break down.

Now wasn’t the time to give into the emotion, now was the time to enjoy the company of my best friend without thinking this could be one of the last times we did this.

This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go. We were supposed to get older, maybe get married possibly followed by kids.

But there was no thinking further than just the next few weeks.

Then I would do what I had to. I would figure out what I was going to do with Max.

Deep down inside I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep what happened with Aiden from him and I would deal with the consequences.