Lacey 

Reece hadn’t been completely on board with my decision, but she’d seemed to accept it. We were sitting on my bed talking about the things I wanted to do in the time I had left.

“It isn’t about doing a bucket list.” I could tell she was finding it hard to understand my reasoning. “I want to spend more time with my family and friends. It’s not like I want to go bungee jumping or anything like that.”

“Okay.” She studied me. “If you’re going to risk your life for a few more memories, let’s make the memories worthwhile.”

I gave her an apprehensive look.

“We’re going out tonight. We’re going to drink and have fun.” She stood. She put her hands on her hips and the look she gave me dared me to refuse.

“Fine.” I felt like I was living my first day of borrowed time. I was exactly in the mood for it, but she was right. If I stayed home I would only mope around and I didn’t want my last few memories to be ones of sadness.

“Can we drag Aiden with us?” I asked, needing a little more support.

“Sure. It’ll be fun,” she said. “He can help me make sure you have a night to remember.”

As I picked my phone, I felt emotionally lighter already. When I called Aiden, and he jumped at the chance to go out with us.

“I’ll pick you guys up at your house at eight,” he said.

I still did not know where we were going, but it didn’t really matter because I had my friends. They would make sure that no matter where we went, I would have fun. Maybe for a few hours I could forget about the surgery and Adonis. I experienced a pain in my chest every time I thought about him.

“Do you want to invite Max?” I asked. I’d been so wrapped up in my stuff that I did not know if they were still seeing each or not, it made feel like I was a terrible friend.

“No, just friends tonight.” She shook her head. “Tonight I want to give you all my attention.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind.” I shrugged.

“No, it’s fine.” There was no shaking the feeling that something was up with her and Max, but she didn’t seem to want to talk about it, so I let it go.

Reece and I got ready for our night out together. It was just like old times. The fears of my future took a backseat in my mind as we did our makeup. Excitement and anticipation bubbled inside of me.

We were running late when Aiden arrived.

“I can’t understand why you guys take so long to get ready.” He leaned casually in the doorway watching us putting the finishing touches on our makeup.

“We have to look good.” Reece put a little more mascara on.

“I’m done.” I surveyed myself in the mirror one last time. Reece had made my eyes a smoky gray color. I’d never worn it before, and I liked it.

“Come on you two,” Aiden checked his out his watch impatiently. “You’re both beautiful.”

By the time we made it into the Aiden’s car, I was ready for a party and letting loose. My parents had been nervous about me going out, but they’d reluctantly relented. Alex was still at Adonis’ and at the thought of him I felt my heart ache a little, but I pushed any thought of him out of my mind. There would be no moping tonight.

We parked the car and walked to the house. The party was full of people and the music blared through the house. I greeted a few people I recognized as we made our way to the front door. Inside, Reece led the way holding my hand and Aiden followed behind us.

There were various drinks and beers filling the counters in the kitchen.

“Do want to do some shots?” Reece eyed out a bottle of tequila.

It took me a few moments before I nodded my head. Two rounds of shots and we moved from the kitchen to the living room. For the first time in what felt like ages, I felt relaxed. It was probably a direct result of the alcohol flowing, but I didn’t care. I smiled at a couple of girls trying to sing along with a song pumping through the house. They were failing miserably. I kept my singing to the shower because I was pretty sure I sounded worse than them. Reece shook her head when she saw the two girls I was giggling at.

For the next hour, we danced and laughed. I got a few interested looks from a couple of guys, but I wasn’t really interested. There was only one guy that owned my heart and no one else could take his place.

I was on my second drink, and I was feeling light-hearted. Someone bumped me and hands shot out to steady me. 

“Thanks,” I said to the guy who had stopped me from falling.

“You’re welcome.” He winked confidently while he continued to dance beside me. He was cute. 

But all it took was a look from Adonis to send a shiver of excitement through me. It would be impossible for anyone to compete with that.

I felt Reece’s hand on my wrist, but something fixed her attention past me toward the front door.

“No way,” she whispered, and I turned to follow her line of vision to Adonis who had just entered the house. He wore a hoodie, but I would recognize him anywhere. The sight of him still impacted me like a jolt of electricity, which was accompanied by the heartache I’d been struggling with. What was he doing here?

My brother was with him. Was this his way of keeping Adonis’ mind off me? Taking him to a party.

I felt the impact as Adonis’ eyes found mine. The moment our eyes meshed, and everything, including the music, faded into the background. What was only a few seconds stretched into what felt like a minute? His expression was blank while I wore my heart on my sleeve for everyone to see. He didn’t look heartbroken, and that hurt a little too. I didn’t want him to be a mess, but I didn’t want to see him look fine when it felt like my heart was being wretched from my chest.  

His eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched when his eyes took in the guy dancing close to me. Did he think I was trying to move on from him?

Pulling my eyes away from his. My brother spotted me and I smiled at him, but he didn’t seem happy to see me, and I knew the reason. He didn’t want his sick sister out at a party.

“Alex is not happy to see you here,” Reece said under her breath to me as I watched my brother push his way through the crowd to us, leaving Adonis behind.

“What are you doing here?” Alex asked when he reached us.

“We are drinking and dancing at a party.” The alcohol making me feel braver than usual.

“What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to get Gray out of the house.” He looked back over his shoulder to his friend, who now much to my dismay had a girl chatting him up.

It felt like someone had poured hot boiling water over my heart. It was so painful I felt the sting of tears for a moment before I got myself together.

“I’m sorry.” My brother gave me a sympathetic look. “I didn’t know you were going to be here.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “It’s not like we can avoid each other forever.”

But to see him so soon after we’d split wasn’t easy. I took a gulp of my drink, hoping the alcohol would help ease the pain I was experiencing.

“Try take it easy.” Alex inclined his head to my drink, and I shrugged. I didn’t have the energy to argue with him. He walked back over to his friends while I watched with a heavy heart.

“So what’s your name?” the guy beside me asked. I’d forgotten about him.

“Lacey.” I felt more courageous because of the alcohol.

The guy who was trying to chat me up introduced himself as Kevin. Aiden and Reece stood nearby, watching. The few times I’d looked in their direction, they’d given me a thumbs up. I rolled my eyes at them.

Did they think I wanted to find someone to replace Adonis because I’d be wasting my time?

No one could fill his place in my heart. Tonight hadn’t been about meeting someone new. It had been about spending time with my friends and having fun.

The alcohol was making me feel daring. I shot another look over my shoulder to where Adonis stood. Alex was beside him and a girl was beaming up to Adonis, looking like she was hanging onto every word he said.

Slowly, I swallowed.

I had no right to feel the emotion, but that didn’t stop it. The girl wrapped her fingers around his arm, and he leaned closer, laughing at something she said. I pulled my eyes away from him.

Feeling awful, I finished my drink, hoping the alcohol would ease the pain in my chest.

“You want another one?” Aiden asked, giving me a sympathetic look.

At this point I would usually stop drinking, but my emotions were all over the place. I nodded at him. I was definitely feeling a little tipsy. For a few moments, I wanted to forget all the things that were wrong with my life. I wanted to stop feeling guilty, sad and scared.

There was the part of me that wanted to make Adonis jealous, but there was no point. I knew he loved me. Nothing was going to fix the fact he couldn’t accept my decision to delay the surgery or my decision to push him away to protect him. 

My eyes found him again. He was still talking to the pretty girl who hadn’t alerted his true identity to anyone else, probably fearing she would have to fight for his attention if there were other girls to compete with. A few minutes later Aiden came back with another drink for me.

“Thank you.” I took a long sip, and the alcohol burned as it slid down my throat.

Half way through the drink, Kevin pulled me onto the makeshift dance floor in the living room. We started dancing together. I ignored the fact that Adonis stood just a few feet away talking to another girl like he didn’t have a care in the world.

Kevin stood closer and placed his hands on my hips, pulling me closer. I felt a little uncomfortable to be dancing so close to someone I’d just met, but I still didn’t pull away. My stubbornness refused to allow me to push him away. The alcohol was muddling my mind and bringing my still raw feelings for Adonis to the surface.

Kevin smiled at me, and I returned it. He looked past me for a moment and his smile fell.

He released me and stepped away. Confused, I turned to see what had scared him off.

The sight of Adonis scowling at Kevin took me by surprise. What was he doing? The last time I’d seen him he’d chatting up some girl and now he was standing with a look on his face directed at Kevin, telling him to get lost.

“What do you want?” I tried sounding calm, but there was a sharpness to my tone, revealing my anger. I stood with my hands on my hips as I glared at him. He had no right to question my actions, and I had no right to question his.

But it didn’t mean I didn’t feel the hurt at watching him flirt with some girl just across the room from me.

“What are you doing?” Adonis’ dark eyes fixed on me and his jaw tense. His temper was bubbling just below the surface.

“I’m dancing,” I said, knowing full well it wasn’t what he was asking me about. We weren’t together anymore, so he was free to do what he wanted and so was I. He couldn’t question me like some jealous boyfriend.

I hadn’t stormed over to him and the girl, even though I’d wanted to. 

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Just over his shoulder I got a glimpse of my brother watching us from the one corner of the room. The girl that had been chatting Adonis up just a few minutes ago was standing next to my brother watching us. She was beautiful, the type of girl you expected a rock star to be with, and that hurt even more and deepened my feelings of inadequacy.

“I’m not doing anything wrong,” I said, crossing my arms defensively. 

I wanted him to admit he still cared, but I shook my head, remembering all the reasons it was best to let him go. No, I wanted him to move on. But alcohol amplified feelings over any logical reasoning. 

He pressed his lips together while he held my glare.

“I want to talk to you,” Reece said to Adonis, interrupting our little stare down. “Now. In the kitchen.”

Adonis followed behind her. I don’t know why, but I followed them. Kevin, the guy I’d been dancing with, forgotten. Once inside the kitchen, Reece turned to face Adonis.
I stopped by the doorway. Aiden stood beside me.

“You can’t do this.” Reece pointed an accusing finger at him.

“Do what?” He shot me a side-glance. It was hard to feel nothing when he looked at me with such intensity that it gave me a fuzzy feeling in my stomach.

“Don’t play stupid.” She took a couple of steps toward him, her stance confrontational. Even though he was so tall compared to her, she did not back down.

“You’re in or you are out,” she said. “You don’t get to break up with her and then get all territorial like some cave man.”

I watched his face for any sign of what he was thinking, but he kept his feelings hidden under an indifferent expression.

“You can’t do both. Pick one and stick with it,” she added. She gave me a look before she faced him again. “You don’t get to walk away and then pretend she is still yours.”

Her words shocked me. She was the type of friend to have my back no matter what. I felt an arm around my shoulder and looked up at Aiden. 

I swallowed the emotion that tightened my throat before turning back to watch the showdown between two of the most important people in my life.

Adonis stared at Reece for a few moments before he glanced at me. It was hard to look at him without feeling the loss of not having him in my life, playing the role I’d been dreaming about since I was thirteen.

The few seconds I waited for his answer felt like hours.

“I’m out,” he whispered, and I felt like something shattered inside of me. 

Even if it was for the best, but it still hurt. He gave me one last look before he shook his head and left the kitchen, passing Aiden who’d pulled me out of the way and into a bear hug.

Tears spilled down my face and Aiden hugged me tighter. “He doesn’t deserve you.”

But I wasn’t sure I deserved him either.