Lacey

“Harp.”

The sound of Adonis’s voice startled me, and I sat up. I looked over my shoulder to see him standing beside my window. It was dark, but the streetlights and moonlight gave sufficient light to see his expression. He normally had this carefree look about him, but there was no trace of it.

I wiped the tears from my face, trying to deal with my emotional state. I was still struggling to wrap my mind around what the specialist’s diagnosis, and I wasn’t confident I was ready to share it with anyone. Standing up, I faced Adonis. Bewildered, how did he know I was at home? For all anyone knew, I could have been somewhere else. How did he even know about my secret place on the roof?

“Do you know what time it is?” he demanded, sounding agitated. I shook my head, I’d lost track of time as I’d replayed my appointment with the specialist in my mind repeatedly, trying to allow my condition to sink in.

“It’s nearly eleven,” he said. 

I had lost track of time. Time I was running out of.

“I didn’t realize it was so late.”

Then it occurred to me. How did he know where I was?.

“How did you know where to find me? I could have been anywhere.” I clasping my hands together to keep myself together.

He studied me for a moment. He seemed reluctant to reveal how he knew.

“After you fainted, I thought something might happen to you and there would be no one around to get help if you needed it,” he said as I watched him with a frown. “I hired someone to watch over you.”

“You what?” I frowned as his words suck in.

He remained silent, knowing he was in the wrong no matter what his explanation was.

“How could you do that?” I felt betrayed. He had felt his concern was enough for him to do something underhanded as long as in his eyes he felt he was doing the right thing.

“I’m sorry, but I had to make sure you were safe. I asked you to go to the doctor to get checked out, but you wouldn’t listen. What did you expect me to do? Nothing?” he said, his voice rising. 

I glared at him. He had no right to get mad I was the only one that had reason to feel that way. Normal people didn’t go to those types of lengths, but then there was nothing normal about Adonis. He was a rock star used to getting what he wanted.

“He informed me you’d arrived at home late afternoon and you hadn’t left so I knew you were at home when no one could find you I knew you’d be up here.”

“How did you know I like it up here?” I gave him an accusatory glare.

“I’ve always known about it. Years ago I left your house and when I got closer to my house, something made me turn around. And there you were sitting on the roof looking up to the sky watching the clouds.”

I thought it had been a secret, my secret place.

“No one else knows about it,” he assured me softly, but it didn’t make me feel any better.

“If you knew where I was, why didn’t you come up here earlier?” I asked.

He let out a sigh. “I know you came up here for a reason. You usually come up here when you have stuff on your mind. I wanted to give you the space to work through it, but it just didn’t seem like you were ever going to come down. Your parents are really worried.”

My parents. 

I felt terrible for what I had put them through and for what was still to come. Trying to brush my guilt aside, I tried to concentrate on Adonis’ revelation that he’d gotten someone to follow me.

“How long have you had me followed?” I asked.

“Since the day after you fainted.”

I thought back to all the things I’d done since then.

“Your guy followed me to the doctor.” I linked things together and I could feel my anger at him invading my privacy.

He nodded his head. “You and Aiden went to a doctor.” His eyes watched me for my reaction.

He reminded me of the time I’d gone to see Aiden’s doctor, Aiden had gone with me. It was then I realized why he’d had so many questions about my ‘relationship’ with Aiden and asking me if we’d been careful.

“That’s why you were asking all those questions about Aiden.”

He nodded. “When my guy informed me that both of you went to a doctor’s office, I thought you were pregnant,” he revealed softly.

It was impossible; I was still a virgin.

“It wasn’t such a leap. You guys seem so close and I got the impression you guys were dating.” He shrugged.

My anger returned, even though it had been my fault he’d thought that Aiden had meant more to me than a friend.

“We’re not.” I hadn’t meant to reveal that, but it was out now.

“You’re not?” he asked, sounding happily surprised. I was too mad to react to the smile that spread across his face that showed off his dimples.

“No.” I shook my head. What did it matter anyway? I had more serious things to deal with than getting over him.

“We’re getting sidetracked. If you need to be angry with me, I can deal. But I need to know what the neurologist told you to make you hide out on the roof, letting no one know you were okay?”

Neurologist. It took a moment for me to realize if he’d had me followed; he knew about my two visits to the specialist as well. His eyes held mine, unwavering.

“Everyone has been out of their minds with worry. You think it might have only been a few hours, but no one knows where you are.”

Even though I felt guilty, I didn’t want to answer his question. I had told no one and somehow saying it out loud gave it a reality I wasn’t ready for. I pressed my lips together, unwilling to voice out loud what the specialist had told me. 

One moment turned into another and the only answer he received was my silence.

“Lacey,” he prompted. He rarely used my first name, which told me he meant business. 

I let out a haggard breath as the emotion I’d been trying to work through escaped, and I felt my eyes sting. It was too much; I blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears back.

“Don’t cry,” he said, his annoyance slipped away.

One tear escaped down my cheek, followed by another. He lifted a hand to brush the tear away.

“What did he say?” He was more insistent. “I need to know how bad it is.”

“It’s bad... terrible,” I whispered. I swallowed to keep the emotion from bubbling past the point of no return.

He moved closer and wrapped his arms around me. He pulled me close and hugged me tight; I leaned into his strength.

“It’s okay. No matter what, it’ll be okay,” he said. He stroked my back as I continued to cry, my hands fisted his shirt as I held onto him.

It was only words, but hearing them made me feel like I wasn’t alone any longer. He let me cry and when my tears dried; I lifted my eyes to his.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured. “I’m not handling this very well.” 

I felt tired, vulnerable and scared.

“You handle it any way you need to.” He gazed down to me and brushed the remaining tears from my cheeks.

“I don’t want to upset you further, but I need to know what the specialist said.” 

I closed my eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath as he pulled away a little. When I opened them, I took a deep breath, trying to build the courage to tell him.

“It’s a brain tumor.”

And there is it was. Out in the world, no longer my secret. For a moment I saw my fears reflected in the depths of his eyes; loss and death.

His hands touched my arms. I waited for him to say something, anything.

“Is it operable?” he asked calmly, but I could hear a slight hoarseness that revealed more.

A lot of my appointment with the specialist was still hazy. It was hard to remember much after the words ‘brain tumor’. After a few moments, I remembered some other things the doctor had told me. 

“He needs to run more scans to see if he can remove it.”

I didn’t want to think of what could happen if he couldn’t. Adonis pulled me into his arms again and hugged me tighter, like he didn’t want to let me go and I didn’t want to be anywhere else. 

It was minutes before he pulled away from me.

“We need to go inside,” he said.

I hesitated, but when he led me from the darkness of the night into my well-lit bedroom, I didn’t stop him. He held my hand as we descended the stairs.

“Did you call Reece again?” My mom asked someone anxiously, I could hear the stress and panic in her voice. I felt a pang of guilt that I caused it.

I hesitated in the doorway, savoring that no one yet knew how much our lives were going to change once I told them my news. Adonis squeezed my hand gently, like he was telling me he was there to help. I took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen just behind him.

“Lacey!” my mom said as she rushed to me. I let go of Adonis’ hand as my mother hugged me hard.

Then she pulled away. Her expression was thunderous. “Where have you been? You can’t just go off and not tell anyone where you are?”

My father replaced the phone on the receiver.

“How could you be so thoughtless?” Alex’s tone cut across my mom’s, and the anger in his voice surprised me. I’d expected my parent’s anger, not my brother’s. When I entered, he had been sitting at the kitchen table, but he’d moved to stand beside my mom. He looked like he wanted to wring my neck, but he kept his arms crossed across his chest.

“Cool it,” Adonis told Alex. My brother glared at his friend.

Adonis shook his head. “You need to hear her out.” 

My father moved to stand on the other side of my mother.

Adonis gave me an encouraging look as he stood beside me. He reached for my hand and held it in his. 

“I went to the doctor,” I admitted quietly. I’d taken the news badly, and I wondered how they were going to take it.

“Why?” my mom asked, confused.

I tucked my hair behind my ear nervously while I tried to find the right words to shatter their world.

“You were right, mom,” I said to her as she watched me. “The migraines were getting worse, and I developed other symptoms. There was the fainting and my vision blurred.”

My mom remained still, and I saw my father reach for her hand. They knew whatever I was going to tell them wasn’t good. They gravitated closer. It was so quiet, like the calm before the storm.

“I didn’t want to worry anyone until I knew that there was something... wrong. First, I went to a doctor, and he referred me to a neurologist.” I paused. “I went to the specialist a couple of days ago for some test and today I received the results.”

My mom raised her hand to her chest and when I saw the fear enter her eyes, I wavered for just a split second. My father was rigid, and Alex blinked. I swallowed hard, trying to keep the emotion under control. Adonis squeezed my hand, and I looked to him. 

“Tell them,” he instructed gently, and I swallowed.

“He saw something...” I explained as I bit back the tears. “I have a... brain tumor.”

My mom’s hands flew to her mouth as the news hit her and my father put an arm around her. Then she broke free to envelop me. “My baby,” she whispered. 

Her reaction brought a whole new wave of tears and I let go of Adonis’ hand to hug her back. She cried and so did I. My father embraced both of us.

It was emotional. When my mom and I stopped crying, my father released us and Adonis led me to the chair. I sank down, feeling overwhelmed with so much emotion I didn’t know how to deal with. 

“I need to make some calls,” Adonis said before he left the kitchen. Who on earth did he need to call at this time of night when I felt like my world was falling apart? I needed him.

I rubbed my forehead, feeling a familiar throb of an oncoming migraine. It was the stress of the day that had finally caught up with me.

Alex sat down in the chair beside me as my parents talked in hushed tones nearby. We didn’t exchange any words we didn’t need to. I saw the look in his eyes as his hand covered mine and gave it a squeeze; he shared my fear.

“You’ll be fine,” he soothed, and I gave him a weak smile. There was that saying mind over matter. Maybe if I got told that enough, or even told myself that enough times, it would work and I would be fine. But I wasn’t an optimist. I was one of those people that looked at half a glass of water and considered it half empty.

A little later Adonis walked back in, shoving his phone back in the front pocket of his jeans.

“I made a couple of calls and I got an appointment for the top neurologist for tomorrow afternoon,” he said.

“Thank you,” my mom said, hugging him, and when she released him, my father shook his hand.

“It’s no problem,” he assured them. He looked to me.

“How did you get an appointment so fast?” I asked, knowing how long it had taken to get the specialist’s appointment, and I could only imagine how difficult it would have been to get an appointment with the top neurologist in the country.

“I pulled some strings,” he said, brushing my question aside.

I could have argued, but I didn’t. Instead I said, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he said, holding my gaze. His eyes softened, and I felt my stomach flutter to life despite the seriousness of my situation.

My mom made everyone something to drink as we all sat down at the kitchen table. Keeping busy helped her deal and kept her mind busy. It was a somber atmosphere; it hung in the air over us.

I held my glass of juice in my hands, twirling the juice and trying not to think about things. There were so many possibilities of how this would work out, and I couldn’t contemplate any that didn’t end with me surviving.

I yawned. All that happened had caught up to me, and I felt exhausted. And I realized the headache I had been developing earlier had eased.

“You’re tired,” my mom said. “You need to get some sleep.”

“I’ll see if I can find something to help you sleep,” my mom said as if she’d just read my mind and left the kitchen.

I wasn’t sure I could sleep, but I had to try. When I stood, I felt Adonis’ hand on my wrist.

“I need to talk to you tomorrow morning,” he said, and I gave him a questioning look.

“Why not talk to me now?” I said.

“It can wait until you’ve slept,” he said cryptically.

I nodded. Once my mother had given me something to help me sleep, I lay tucked in my bed wondering what  Adonis wanted to talk to me about.