I was a bundle of nerves. From going to daily training and being kept busy to sitting and twiddling my thumbs had left me with far too much time to think about Silas and what was going to happen tonight.

The vampire dressed as a butler had introduced himself as Benjamin and told me to call him Ben. He reeled in a clothing rack filled with clothes for me to look through.

I was overwhelmed. My training outfit had been one colored set of clothes. There had been no choices and here I had every type of piece of clothing you could imagine. There were too many choices to be able to choose any. I had left them in the middle of the room, hoping that I would be able to make a choice at another time. When I had a chance to get used to all of this.

It was the lingerie that had held my attention. Was I supposed to wear that for tonight? I felt so out of my depth but I couldn’t bring myself to even try any of them on. I knew what was expected of me and dressing myself up would not help me accomplish it.

When I couldn’t take it anymore I took the most simple jeans and top just so I could get out of the room. I wandered around the large apartment. There were so many rooms. I wondered where Silas slept.

I took in my surroundings. It was the paintings that hung against the wall that caught my curiosity. It was of two men. One was Silas, the other looked just like him but slightly different. Was it a sibling?

Then I walked over to the large windows that overlooked the city. I had no idea where I was. None of the city buildings looked distinctive enough to figure out where I was. It wasn’t like I was going to try and escape. Silas knew I would never endanger my family for my own sake.

I was still staring out at the view when the front door opened. I turned to see a guy dressed in a suit with a briefcase enter. He nodded in my direction. The gold shimmer told me he was a vampire.

“I have something for you,” he said.

Curious I followed him into the kitchen. This was the most wasted room in the entire place. Vampires didn’t need food. I had to smile at the thought.

The man opened the briefcase to take out a bottle of pills.

“You need to take one every morning,” he instructed handing me the pills, which I reluctantly took.

He closed the briefcase.

“What are they for?” I asked, studying the label but not able to make sense of the symbols written on it.

“Fertility.”

My hand tightened on the bottle. It was reminder of the only task I was now expected to complete. To have a baby.

I wanted to throw them away but I dared not. I didn’t want to jeopardize my situation. As Silas had already warned me, the only alternative was to be given to Thane. And I would rather die than allow that to happen.

The man left me in the kitchen. I heard the door close behind him.

I returned to my room with the pills and set them down on the table. For a while I sat there staring at them, trying to figure how I was going to get through this.

There was no denying that I was attracted to Silas, even when I questioned how it was possible to want someone who had treated me the way he had. Could I forgive what had happened before and put it down to the workings of the new world I had woken up in? I wasn’t sure it was that easy.

But for my own survival I had to figure out a way to make peace with it. I couldn’t go through this internal struggle every day, it would drive me crazy.

Remembering how Silas had touched his lips to mine when he had gotten me to drink the blood, I lifted my fingers to touch my lips. Tonight there would be more. My stomach fluttered with a strange feeling, I wasn’t sure if it was a physical or emotional reaction.

As time ticked by the sun began to set and I knew I had run out of time to get my mind around what was going to take place. I showered and dried myself before I went to look through the clothes. I definitely wasn’t comfortable walking around naked so I had to choose something to wear.

I finally settled on the most inexpensive, simple dress. It was a royal blue satin. I slipped it on. In the mirror I soothed the dress, trying to figure out if it would do.

Releasing a shaky breath, I tried to calm myself down. I reminded myself that if Silas hadn’t intervened I would have already been subjected to Thane and the thought made me feel monetarily sick.

It was late when I finally heard movement in the apartment. I wondered if I should stay in my room seated on the edge of the bed or to go out to see if it was Silas. My stomach was filled with nerves and I stood beside the bed.

I wasn’t comfortable in this situation. I was no virgin but never had I actually slept with a man I felt attracted to. This was something new. And he was a vampire. And I was also different.

Would it feel different?

My heart raced.

I heard his footsteps stop outside my door and I waited, staring at the door as it opened slowly.

It was Silas. He was dressed in all black, his training uniform.

This was the man I felt more comfortable with, not the man dressed in attire he had worn the day before at the ceremony.

Our eyes locked and I felt my breath halt in my lungs.

“You look beautiful.” His words were softly spoken as his eyes trailed my form.

My cheeks heated at the compliment. The time I had agonized over the clothing now felt worth it.

He closed the door behind him and I felt nervous.

“I’m nervous,” I blurted out.

He had always been hard on me, pushing me to my limit. I don’t know why I felt it was okay to tell him how I was feeling in that moment.

“I won’t force you Avery.” His glimmering eyes held mine.

He wouldn’t have to. I wanted him but that was something I held from him. I didn’t want him to know how much I wanted him. It would swing the balance of power more into his favor and I needed every little bit I could hold onto.

I linked my hands together, not able to keep a handle on my nerves.

“I don’t know how to do this.” I felt compelled to tell him.

“You’ve never done this before?” he questioned, keeping his distance.

When I realized what he meant I shook my head. “I’ve never done it with a Vampire.”

Then he did the most amazing thing. He gave a ghost of smile and for a moment I wondered it it had been real. “And I’ve never done this with a Sire.”

His words shouldn’t have mattered to me but they did. We were both having a first time and it meant something, even if it was wiser that it didn’t.

“How was your day?” I asked, trying to normalize the situation.

He moved closer to take my hand in his.

“We don’t need pleasantries Avery.”

It was a reminder that there was only one thing he wanted from me. I held my breath as his hand lifted mine to his lips. He pressed a kiss to my palm.

My skin tingled under his touch and I watched, fascinated, as he pressed another kiss lightly to my wrist.

My stomach was doing strange things again and he pulled me closer.

I lifted my gaze to meet his. My eyes momentarily dropping to his lips. Would it feel as good to have him kiss me? I waited with anticipation.

“I need to hear you say it,” he whispered.

I frowned, struggling to think when he was so close, my hand still in his. “Say what?” When he was so close, I couldn’t think.

“I need to hear you say that you want this Avery.”

I would have told him anything he asked in that moment.

“I want this,” I said, my voice husky. “With you.”