On the way back I kept checking to see if we were being followed but the road behind us was clear. While Lark happily chatted away I began to really worry that someone was looking for me, and I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

My past had caught up with me.

I was faced with a dilemma of keeping this from Maverick or telling him. But that would entail revealing my past and I didn’t want to do that under any circumstances. I didn’t believe he could still want me if he learned of my run ins with the law. Remembering Amy, the blonde, only cemented the idea that he needed someone good, not someone who didn’t know how to follow the rules and do what they were told.

Even now, I couldn’t be someone I wasn’t. I was who I was and I didn’t know if it was possible to be the person he deserved. My earlier confidence in what I felt for Maverick wavered.

And he wasn’t there to help me fight the doubts that clouded my mind. His presence wasn’t there to chase away my fears. His touch wasn’t there to calm me and make me believe that no matter what we were supposed to be together.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that the stranger was following me, and I had no idea why. My only hope of escaping would be to leave or lay low. My emotions were all over the place, one moment I was sure in what I felt and then I wasn’t but I needed to make my mind up.

If the stranger was someone looking for me because of my past then it would be better if I didn’t drag Maverick into it.

I was torn between doing what I usually did and that was to skip town and out run it. I didn’t want to leave Maverick but then I argued that despite being mates maybe he would be better off without me.

I had lived the last year of my life dancing across the line of the law and it was only a matter of time before it caught up with me. I didn’t want Maverick caught up with me in it. He deserved better, better than me. He didn’t deserve someone that was messed up like I was.

“You okay?” Lark asked just as we neared the house, taking note of my silence.

“Yeah, I’m just tired.” It wasn’t a lie. Being out in town, being constantly on guard would wear anyone down. It had become second nature to me, it was how I had lived since I had left the orphanage.

Even now the idea of that place, brought the dark memories back and the fear that I would never escape the stone walls of where I had grown up.

Sebastian was there when Lark pulled up in front of the house.

“I’m here to help carry,” he said. He avoided making eye contact with me, ensuring he only spoke directly to Lark.

He didn’t like me, and he made no effort to hide it. He opened the trunk as Lark got out, his eyes widened in surprise when he saw all the bags.

“Did you leave anything in the stores?” he asked as he surveyed the shopping bags.

Lark shrugged. “Victoria isn’t a big shopper.”

Any affection in his eyes was gone when his eyes met mine.

Did he see the doubt I felt? That I wasn’t good enough to be Maverick’s mate. Could he see the indecision I was struggling with?

Granted I hadn’t been able to leave when Maverick had given me the chance but I believed if I truly wanted to go and Maverick wasn’t around I would be able to do it. Without his physical presence it would be easier.

Sebastian hauled the bags out the car and headed into the house.

“He’ll warm up to you,” Lark said as she came to stand beside me.

“He doesn’t trust me.” I shrugged. The most important person was Maverick and he trusted me, even when there was no reason for him to.

I was having second thoughts again. There was no way I could fit into this tightly knit group. I only knew how to be on my own, for far too long I had only looked out for myself and that wouldn’t work in this environment.

“It’ll take time. Sebastian is the most distrustful of all of us. It is who he is. I wouldn’t take it too personally.” Lark’s words did not make me feel any better.

Especially because Sebastian was right. Victoria James was a name I chose to out run my past but a name didn’t change who I was.

“You coming in?” Lark stopped at the front door to look over her shoulder at me.

“I’ll be there in a moment.”

I didn’t know if I ever would be ready to enter the house and live the life that was waiting for me. It was within my reach but I didn’t feel good enough for it. It stirred up memories of not feeling good enough for the parents who had come looking to adopt a child. I had never measured up.

How could I believe Maverick was meant for me? It was as difficult to believe I was a werewolf. A werewolf who had been given away, discarded. I would have come from a pack and if my parents couldn’t have raised me surely someone within their pack would have stepped up to take me in. Why had an entire pack given me up? It felt like a heaviness in my chest, confirming that I wasn’t good enough for what lay beyond the door.

I took one step back slowly, quickly followed by another. My decision hung in the balance for a moment before it swung toward the only option I felt I had. Leaving. It was giving into the usual way I would handle most things, I would run. With my decision made, I turned to find the quickest way out. The car Lark had just parked caught my attention. Would she have left the keys in the car? There was only one way to find out.

I hurried to the car making sure there was no one to see me. My heart raced as I slid into the driver’s side and felt relieved when I saw she had left the keys in the car. It cemented my decision and there was no turning back.

I only experienced a moment of hesitation before I started the car and backed it out of the parking before the only thought was getting as far away as I could. Putting my foot to the gas I sped down the driveway, trying to outrun my demons but no amount of distance would give me peace. The only thing I could hope to accomplish is to ensure my train wreck of a life didn’t touch Maverick.

Just thinking about him made me feel guilty that I wasn’t strong enough to tell him face to face that I couldn’t be with him but if I had tried, the pull to him would have stopped me. This was the only way.

I didn’t know where I was headed, all I knew is I couldn’t go back to any of the places I had already been for fear of being discovered by law enforcement. When I hit the town I slowed down, wanting to make sure I didn’t draw the attention. I needed to get out of there without any unnecessary attention.

I scanned the streets, looking for any sign of the man who I had seen earlier but there was none. All I could hope was that he wouldn’t be able to trace me to my next destination although it stuck with me that he had managed to trace me to this town.

It was getting dark and I hated driving at night, especially rural winding roads with dark forests on either side. It wasn’t the best conditions to drive in so I made the decision to stop in the next town and stay over night before heading off early tomorrow morning.

The more distance I could put between Maverick and myself the better, even if it made my heart ache. This was for the best.

And if Maverick knew the truth, he would understand.