Ch6 New pt2
I was agitated and my nerves were frayed by the end of the day. I was keeping the biggest secret and hadn’t been able to tell Sin.
When Sin finally came to bed I lay in the dark quiet. The bed dipped beside me and I felt him shift to lay on his back.
I wanted to reach out and rest my hand on his chest, to feel connected with him in some way. I needed it more than anything. Maybe I needed to reassure myself that no matter what we had to face we would get through it together. But for a reason I couldn’t explain I didn’t reach across the gap between us.
Instead, I lay on my side facing him, staring at the side profile of his handsome face.
He turned his head to face me. “Come here.”
I was hesitant for a moment before I moved to lay my head on his shoulder with his arm around me. I sighed, closing my eyes. Inhaling him, feeling a reassurance in the physical contact with him. He pressed a kiss to my forehead. The action familiar and comforting. My hand went to his chest. His arm around me tightened.
My eyes moved higher to lock with his in the moonlit dark. His mouth lowered to mine, brushing against my lips.
I shifted to grasp his face with my hands to stop him from pulling away. My mouth covered his, desperate to concentrate on nothing but how he made me feel. I tasted him and groaned, trusting my tongue against his.
His hand lifted to my nape before his hand threaded through my hair. I gasped when his hand tightened in my hair. His mouth covered mine again and I was lost. No longer plagued by thoughts. The only thing that I wanted was him.
His mouth lifted from mine. The only sound was our heavy breathing intermingled. I could feel the chemistry between us burn.
When his mouth touched mine again, it was soft and gentle. He held me still with his hold on my hair. The sensation when his gripped a handful of my hair rippled through me, making me ache for him.
My hand lowered to rest on his shoulder as his free hand skimmed down my body until he reached navel. His touch was light, his fingertips traced an imaginary line down to the edge of my underwear. The anticipated was heightened when he took his time sliding his hand further down to where I craved his touch.
“Please,” I whispered against his lips.
“Is this what you want?” he asked, his voice husky as he fingertips stroked me.
I closed my eyes, riding the erotic touch. “Yes.” The word escaped from my lips.
When his hand stilled I lifted my hips to his hand. “More.” I would beg if I had to. I would do anything for him not to stop.
Nails digging into his skin I held onto him, feeling like I was being swept away from the sensations he was creating in me.
“Tell me what you want me to do,” he murmured.
“I want you to touch me,” I told him. I swallowed.
My mouth opened in a silent groan when he finally slid a finger deeper into me but it was still not enough. I moved my hips as he added another digit.
“You are so wet for me,” he whispered against my ear. His breath sending another tingling sensation through me.
I pulled him down to kiss him while his thumb moved to press against my outer bud while he pumped his fingers. His mouth was on mine.
I panted as the sensation built. He released my hair to lift my top to close his heated mouth over a peak and he sucked softly.
It was enough to through me over the edge, my body tightened as I came and I gasped. “Sin.”
He rung out every last moment of my orgasm. I lay spent, heavy breathing. He rose to remove his boxers before he rejoined me on the bed.
I still wanted him badly, inside of me, as close as two people could be.
In the darkness, he slid my underwear off slowly and parted my knees. He kissed me as he lowered his hips against my heat. I kissed him as his weight pressed me into the mattress. He lifted my hips to slid into me in one powerful thrust. I arched into him. This is the way I loved him, unrestrained focussed purely on our bodies joining together in ecstasy.
There was nothing gentle in his strokes, his hands on my hips. They would leave marks. I kissed him, our tongues dueling for dominance. The friction our bodies created lifted me up again and I knew I was going to come again. I lifted my hips against his thrusts, again and again. I moaned as his mouth found a peak and his teeth grazed it before he sucked hard. Up in the heavens I unravelled, it swept through me.
He grunted as he came, shuddering holding me tight against his body while he spilled into me. He slumped over me, resting his head in the curve of my neck. His breath rapid against my skin while I circled my arms around him.
I loved him so much it hurt. I couldn’t lose him. Fear lived in each breath I held the secret of my pregnancy from him.
There was no way to know how he would react and that kept me from revealing it. Instead I broached the subject of his darkened mood as we lay side by side still trying regulate our breathing.
“Was it that bad?” I asked, softly. Needing to put my doubts at bay.
Sin loved me. He wouldn’t be deceitful, I had to trust him.
“What?” he asked.
He exhaled. “It didn’t go as planned.”
He was being very vague and that made me more suspicious. I was on guard, he still hadn’t mentioned who the meeting was with. Why? Was he deliberately not telling me or was it more innocent, like he had forgotten to mention it?
I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt but I was struggling.
What was wrong with me? This was Sin, the man I loved. The one I had promised to spend the rest of my life with. He loved me. How could I doubt that? Were my pregnancy hormones making me act this way?
“What happened?” I asked, needing him to tell me more.
“It was…the program didn’t work. Slater tried his best to fix it but…”
It felt like a weight had been dropped on my chest suddenly and without warning. It made each and every breath almost impossible.
He was lying. My mind raced. Why was he lying? Any confidence I had just held vanished, tainting what we had just shared.
I tucked my hand back under my pillow, turning to face him, feeling betrayed in a way.
Everything else he said I didn’t hear.
“Tay?” he said.
Nothing good could come if this. People didn’t lie to hide good things. It had to be bad. How bad, I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
“Yeah,” I murmured, trying my best to keep hidden my inner turmoil.
“I love you.” He spoke the words so softly I closed my eyes briefly, feeling the pain in the middle of my chest.
There was silence that seemed to stretch on.
“I love you too,” I whispered, even thought I was questioning his actions and wondering what was going on.
In the silence that followed, I was torn between wanting to trust him and knowing he was lying to me. But what I couldn’t figure out was why he was lying to me.
I didn’t know what to do. Doing nothing and wading constantly in the pool of suspicious held little appeal. I needed to know the truth, especially with a baby on the way.
And when I figured out what he was hiding then I could figure out how I was going to tell him about the baby.
The baby. The little innocent life I was going to bring into the world. And that brought a whole new set of fears I had never encountered before.
How on earth could I keep a baby safe in a world where both my parents had been brutally murdered and I had been kidnapped by a crazed stalker who was a relative of the murderers.
Long after Sin’s steady breathing, I was still wide awake.