My mood was sombre as I stared out of the window. It was so much to take in and process. I believed everything Damien had told me, including the part where I had given up.

I had never believed I had belonged in hell but now I knew that I did. Was there any point in fighting something that I could never change? All I was doing was delaying the inevitable.

Damien had been just as quiet as I had been. So much had been revealed and we were both trying to figure out where that left us now.

I turned to face him. He stood on the opposite side of the room watching me.

“What do we do now?” I asked, feeling the weight of my decision when I had almost died the first time. When I had given up, instead of fighting.

“I don’t know,” he answered solemnly.

The Grim Reaper would return for me and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I touched the burn on my arm, it wasn’t as red and inflamed as it had been before. Now I was able to make out the symbol. It was a circle and a cross over it, like a target. I let out a shaky breath.

I sat down on the bed and put my head into my hands. I was struggling with a variety of emotions, from grief at the loss of Parker to fear of what was to come and what I could not change.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Parker?” I asked Damien when I finally lifted my head from my hands to stare at him across the room.

“I knew if I told you, you would try to save him.”

“Would that have been so wrong?” I couldn’t hide the guilt I felt that I had suspected he was dying and I hadn’t done much. It would be something I would have to live with.

“You can’t change it,” he explained. “And I didn’t want you any where near him.”

“I thought you were warning me about Parker. I thought you believed he wasn’t the person I thought he was.”

He shook my head. “I knew he was going to die and his time was running out. I knew the reaper would come to collect his soul and I didn’t want you anywhere near it when it happened.”

The memory of what happened was still fresh in her mind like the throb of the burn on her arm.

“You didn’t want the reaper to see me. Why?”

It made no sense. He had spent the last seven years trying to drag me back, surely he would have jumped at the chance to get the reaper to do the job he had been unable to complete.

“The only way I get to redeem myself is if I bring you back. If the reaper brings you back I will remain a demon forever.”

“Oh.” I didn’t know how that made me feel. At least he was being honest, I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

I couldn’t view him as the annoying demon who had terrorized me for the last seven years. When I looked at him now, I saw the angel who had saved me, countless times. If he hadn’t saved me the first time I would have been in hell already. It was clear that I owed him the last seven years I was able to spend with my grandmother.

I stood and walked over to him as he watched.

“Thank you,” I whispered, feeling overcome with emotion that he had done that for me.

Even though he had spent the last seven years trying to take me back.

“For what?” His eyes studied me and I felt a flutter of something unexplainable to be so close and to have his focus on me.

“For saving me,” I stated. “You have me the extra time with my grandmother.”

Even if my death was on the horizon and it was inevitable now, I at least owed him for what he had done for me.

He shrugged. “Trust me, I don’t know why I did it. I don’t even know why I can’t let you die now.”

Was it the struggle between the angel and the demon inside him?

“If it hadn’t been for you I wouldn’t be here now.”

“You won’t be here for much longer.” His hand reached for my arm as he studied the symbol on my arm.

His touch did weird things to me and I held my breath trying to figure out what was happening. It seemed only to affect me as I watched him frown as he continued to study the symbol.

It was only when his gaze lifted to meet mine. Everything stilled, the breath in my lungs as our eyes held. Time suspended.

I was seeing him differently. He was no longer an entity that annoyed me or sparked my temper. He was the one who had saved me, he had risked so much to save me. All the good in him, had been replaced with evil. Whether he remembered his reason, was immaterial to me. You didn’t save someone you hated. It meant that I meant something to him and that was something that stuck with me.

He had been in my life for so long and I wanted to touch him. I didn’t know if I was crossing an imaginary boundary but the urge was too powerful to stop. I lifted my hand to touch his face. His face was solid and the feel was electric like a pulse rushed from him through the touch to me. It lifted my heart, it made me feel…it made me feel.

He closed his eyes briefly and I felt his vulnerability.

I broke the touch, dropping my hand. The rush of emotion was too much to handle and I backed away. I had lifted the lid on something I hadn’t been prepared for.

“You feel it.” His voice was rough and emotional.

I was torn between hating him and struggling with the other feeling that had settled in my chest when we had touched.

I turned my back to him, trying frantically to figure out why I was feeling the way I was and trying to reason why.

“Tessa.” He was behind me. The heat of his presence radiated.

I crossed my arms, stubbornly refusing to turn to face him. Confused and unsure of how to proceed I struggled.

“Turn around,” he commanded softly.

Fear kept me from fulfilling his instruction. I felt overwhelmed with the events of the day and I was unprepared for what was unfolding between us.

“Tessa.” The sound of my name made me turn around slowly.

The air between us was electric, I could feel the power of him radiate from him. I took a shaky breath unsure of what was happening but knowing I couldn’t stop it. It would be like trying to stop breathing. I needed this like the air in my lungs.

He took a slow step to close the distance between us and I held my breath as I tilted my face up to his to keep his gaze that had dropped to my lips.

I knew what he was going to do and I didn’t stop him. I wanted it, more than I had anything.

His lips neared mine. They brushed softly at first. I closed my eyes trying to take in all my other senses as an emotion rippled through me, leaving me with now doubt how I felt about him.

I’d gone from hating him to the complete opposite.

His mouth covered mine and I sighed, like it was the natural thing. It felt right. It didn’t matter who or what he was, I wanted this.

There was no logic to it. It wasn’t like I weighed up the good things he had done to the bad things and come to some sort of conclusion. This was purely an instinctual emotion.

His mouth moved against mine and reached out to touch his chest. My hand flattened against him chest. There was no heart beat because he wasn’t human but I didn’t care. I didn’t care what he was, it didn’t change how I felt.

What I felt for him filled my heart and there was no doubt in what I was feeling.

I loved him.

I had no idea how it had happened or when but did it really matter?