“Tell me.”

He studied me for a few moments before he began to speak. “I didn’t remember anything about the day you died seven years ago until I saved you, after you went off the bridge and nearly drowned. Saving you went against what I’ve been trying to accomplish for so long. It made no sense. I couldn’t explain why I couldn’t let you die. It made me hate you more than I did before.”

I got it. I nodded.

“It was only afterward I began to remember things. Snippets. Nothing really concrete. And then there was the moment you stepped into the way of the car. There was no hesitation on my part. I saved you without even thinking about it. It made no sense.”

It was weird hearing it from his point of view.

“It was something I couldn’t understand or explain. And then you slipped off the roof.” Our eyes held. “Then you said the thing about me being your guardian angel. I wanted to deny it but I as much as I wanted to I couldn’t. I needed the truth.”

“And did you get it?” I asked.

I had as much invested in it as he did. It affected both of us.

“I did something I wasn’t supposed to and that’s why I became a demon.” His eyes were dark.

I frowned. “What did you do?”

“Seven years ago you were supposed to die with your family Tessa.”

My eyes held his as I took in his words.

“You saved me.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. It was like the answer was hidden somewhere in my subconscious.

He nodded slowly.

“You weren’t supposed to save me.” It was all starting to fall into place.

He nodded.

“That’s why you became a demon,” I said, speaking my thoughts as everything began to make so much more sense.

“Yes.”

I stood to pace. What I had just learned was mind blowing? The demon who had been haunting my every moment for the last seven years was actually my guardian angel. The one who was supposed to protect me.

Then I remembered he could touch me and I stopped to face him. “How can you touch me?”

He had never been able to do that as a demon.

“I think it’s got something to do with the guardian angel part of me.”

“Part of you?” I questioned.

“I’m both. The one who wants to steal your last breath and protect you with my last one.”

Our eyes held. I could see the darkness in his eyes but I never felt a moment of fear. Somehow, I just knew he wouldn’t harm me, it was instinctual.

“You won’t.” I was never more sure about anything in my life, I stepped closer to show I trusted him.

“I don’t know that.” He flexed his hand, like he was trying to get some control.

“I do.”

I felt something stir inside me, something I couldn’t explain. I just knew he wouldn’t harm me. Maybe it was the fact that he had instinctually saved me every time I had been in danger. Those weren’t the actions of someone who was intent on harming me. I believe the angel part of him was stronger than the demon.

“What happened to Parker?” he asked, changing the subject.

I swallowed. “He is gone.”

My world felt shaken and nothing was what it had seemed before. Even though I had suspected Parker was going to die to actually see it happen was something else entirely.

“It was his time.” It sounded like he was trying to comfort me.

“That doesn’t make me feel any better Damien. I knew what was coming and I did nothing.” The weight of guilt made it difficult to take another breath in a world where Parker had died.

“You couldn’t have done anything.”

One of the last memories I had of him was looking over my shoulder as he disappeared into the sea of students stayed with me.

I shook my head. “I don’t believe that. If I wasn’t supposed to stop it why was I able to see it? What’s the point in being able to see it if I can’t do anything about it?”

He shrugged. “You aren’t here to save anyone Tessa.”

“Well if that’s the case I’m doing a great job,” I yelled, sarcastically. For the first time I didn’t care if anyone over head, and thought I was talking to myself. After everything that had happened today, that was the least of my problems.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” he reminded me.

“Yes, I know,” I snapped. My emotions were all over the place. “You’ve been reminding me for the last seven years. I get it.”

Damien folded his arms and I paced. Then something else occurred to me and I stopped.

“You remember what happened?” I asked.

There was something else I needed to know and he would only be able to answer it if he remembered what happened.

He nodded slowly. “I remember bits and pieces.”

“Why am I going to hell Damien? Why were you sent to bring me back to hell?”

“What does it matter Tessa?” he asked.

“Of course it matters.” I glared at him. “Why can’t you just tell me?”

Surely it was something I was entitled to know.

“I’m going to have the Grim Reaper returning to collect my soul, the least you can do is tell me why I’m going to hell Damien. You at least owe me that.”

He seemed reluctant to say anything but I wasn’t going to allow him to keep this for me.

“Tell me Damien,” I told him.

“You were young Tessa.”

I grabbed his wrist, showing the urgency of my need to know the truth. For the last seven years he had taunted me with my soul burning in hell for eternity, the least he could do was tell me why.

His eyes went to where my hand held his arm.

“Please Damien,” I pleaded, my tone softer.

“You gave up.”

The simple statement, three words unravelled me. My dropped his wrist as I backed up to sink down on my bed. “I gave up?” I echoed.

“When the car first hit the water. There was panic as everyone was trying to get out. You were trying the door.” He paused and I looked to him. “You managed to get out of the seatbelt but the window was only open up enough for you to escape. No one else had a chance.”

I couldn’t talk, all I could do was stare as he revealed what happened. Memories of nearly drowning washed over me making it harder to breathe, like I was experiencing as he talked about it.

“I had a chance?” I choked.

He nodded. “You fought until…”

I swallowed as I waited for him to finish the sentence.

“Until you realized no one else was going to make it out alive.”

My throat tightened and I swallowed back my tears.

“You stopped fighting.”

I was silent as I took it all in. Never once did I ever believe I had been capable to doing that, that’s why it never made any sense to me.

“It might not be as clear and cut as someone taking their own life with a knife or a bottle of pills but it is suicide.”

I nodded, unable to talk as emotion bubbled inside of me.

He kept his distance but I felt the heat of his gaze on me as I struggled through the truth and what that meant for me. I had always believed it had to have been some sort of mistake, and now I knew it wasn’t. I had to take responsibility for my actions, there wasn’t a choice.

“Why did you save me Damien?” I asked softly. My throat burned.

“I shouldn’t have interfered. It went against everything I had ever been taught. I wasn’t supposed to interfere.”

“You were my guardian angel.” I said it like it explained why he had saved me.

“I was never supposed to interfere physically. I could give you a sense of danger, like a six sense but that’s about the extent of my abilities that were allowed.”

“Then how were you to save me?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. One minute I was watching and the next I had you in my arms and I was pulling you out.”

The boy who had hated me for the last seven years was telling me he had broken the rules to save me. This changed everything.