Where the hell was Damien? I hadn’t seen him since he had disappeared while I had been talking to Joey.

Fear that I had pushed him away totally weighed heavily on me. I wanted to assure Damien that no matter what I felt for Joey, what I felt for him was stronger. He was the one I wanted and there was no question in my heart about that. Somehow, impossibly, I could have feelings for two people but if there was a choice. It would be Damien.

This was something I needed to make clear to Joey. And I planned to when I saw him after school. It was time to be crystal clear that we would be nothing more than friends. It had to be that way. More importantly, I need it that way.

To each class I searched the sea of students, looking for Damien. Hoping to catch a glimpse of his disapproving gaze. Feeling a sense of panic that with each passing moment of not being able to find him.

Parker appeared next to me just after school ended.

“Hi,” he said, happily. He was far too happy for a ghost.

My mood was dark and irritated.

“Hey.” I replied gruffly under my breath. There wasn’t too many other students around but the last thing I needed was someone hearing me talk to myself.

He frowned. “What’s wrong?”

I looked around to see if we were alone yet so I could tell him. There was two other students that were walking down the hallways, well out of hearing distance.

“Damien saw me talking to Joey and he vanished. That was earlier today. I haven’t seen him since.” The fear that he could have left me nearly sent me into a panic. He had been part of my life for as long as I could remember, even if for a good portion of it had been making my life miserable. I would have given anything for him to appear right then and there with some sarcastic comment.

I would take him, anyway I could get him.

It was in those moments that I knew, what I had felt in my heart all along. Damien was the one I loved, totally. Even if Joey could make me feel something that I didn’t want to feel, there was no way I give Damien up for him. That I knew without a doubt.

I was more sure in what I wanted and what I wouldn’t give up, not even for the guy I was destined to be with.

I felt for confidence in my decision, now I just needed to tell Joey. I wanted to see Damien first but there was no sign of him.

“Really? If I didn’t know better it would sound like a certain demon is jealous,” he said with a brief chuckle, like it wasn’t possible in our reality.

When I didn’t smile his smile dropped. He frowned as he studied me closer. “Why is Damien jealous of Joey?”

I did another look around to make sure we were alone. I was also aware that Joey was waiting for me outside of the school and with each moment thus passed I ran the risk of him leaving before we could talk.

“When I gave Joey your note he told me that we had met before. Before he moved here, he lived in my town. I don’t remember him.”

Parker stared at me for a long moment. “He never told me that.”

I shrugged. “I kinda…had….a moment with him.”

I didn’t want to admit this, it felt like it gave more power to the very thing feelings I was trying to fight.

Parker blinked. “A moment?”

I nodded slowly. It felt like a betrayal to Damien all over again so there was no way I was going into how I had been transfixed by a boy I barely knew.

My cheeks warmed and Parker’s mouth fell open.

“It wasn’t something I could explain.” I shrugged. “When I told Damien, he knew why I felt the way I did about Joey.”

It was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop.

“Joey is my…soulmate.” I drew a breath, still able to feel the emotion to the word soul mate even if I wanted to deny what Joey made me feel.

“That’s…crazy.” His eyes were wide.

“I know. Apparently if I had made a different decision when the accident happened, Joey would have been the one I fell in love with.”

He frowned he processed my revelation. “That’s a lot.”

I exhaled sharply. “Yeah.”

“How do you feel about it?”

“Maybe is I had never met Damien u would have happily fallen in love with Joey.”

“But you did meet Damien.”

I nodded. “I don’t want to hurt anyone but I can’t deny what I feel for Damien.”

“He has spent so many years terrorizing you.” He said it like it would easily explain why I should hate the man I professed to love.

“I get how someone would see it from the outside but you might see the demon who tried everything to take me back to hell. But I see the angel who sacrificed everything to save me.”

“I get it.” He murmured thoughtfully. “It’s hard to see Damien other than a supernatural asshole but I can see the way he looks at you. He loves you, even I can see that. But I’m biased so I’m rooting for Joey. He is the most loyal person who would give you the shirt off his back. When he loves you, you feel it everyday. I miss that.”

In that moment u would have given anything to be able to give him a hug when I saw the emotion in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured instead, feeling my heart ache for him.

“It is what it is. Being dead sucks.” He said flippantly. “But at least I can do one more thing before I move on.”

“What?”

“I can try help you.”

I wanted nothing more than to have a second chance at life without having to fight for it each and every day but I had to start making peace with the though eventuality the reaper would come back to take me back to hell and there was nothing I, or anyone else, could do to stop it.

“No one can help me Parker. You staying here for a hopeless cause isn’t fair.” I didn’t want to say goodbye to him but he needed to move into the light where his loved ones that had already passed would be waiting for him.

“You can’t give up Tessa,” he argued.

I gave a one shoulder shrug with a deep sigh. “I’m tired of fighting Parker. And I need to face the fact that I can’t fight death.”

“Tessa.” His eyes searched mine.

I swallowed hard, hating how emotional I was feeling. “It’s fine.”

“You’re not fine and I can’t leave you like this. Even if there is nothing any of us can do to change what will happen, I won’t leave you until I have no other choice. Do you understand?”

I loved him more in that moment. I nodded.

“Now let’s see if we can find the asshole.” He gave a half smile which made me smile.

“I haven’t seen him since Joey corned me earlier to talk.”

“I still can’t believe Damien is jealous. It almost kinda makes him human and that blows my mind.” He shook his head in wonder.

I had put off the conversation with Joey long enough. It was time to tell him that there was no chance for us, my heart belong to another. It didn’t matter what destiny dictated, it didn’t change how I felt about Damien.

“Joey is waiting outside for me. And I need to make it clear that I love someone else,” I told Parker as we began to walk slowly down the hallway.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked softly, as his form drifted over the surface of the ground beside me.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything,” I whispered. I was hurt that Damien had pretty much disappeared and I hadn’t had a chance to assure him that despite he believed, I wouldn’t leave him for Joey. Even if loving him went against all the odds, and there was no place for it in this world or the next, I didn’t care.

I loved him and that was all that mattered.