I managed to work myself up into a determined state so the moment Damien returned I was ready to try die to remove the reaper’s mark.

As soon as Damien appeared I blurted out that I was ready to try his idea.

He studied me with a slow look. He didn’t seem as enthusiastic as I was.

“It’s a last resort Tessa,” he argued.

“But there isn’t another way.” I felt so desperate, like death was looming just over my shoulder and if I stopped for a second it would creep over and engulf me in darkness forever.

“It’s too dangerous Tessa. I don’t even know if it will work.”

“It has to.” The words came out in a breathless whisper filled with desperation.

He shook his head. “I will find another way.”

I closed the distance between us. “There isn’t another way Damien. We have to accept that this is the only way.” The desperation in me leaked into the pleading of my voice.

He frowned. “I’m not sure it will even work.”

“At least it’s something we can try.”

He looked less convinced that it was an option that could work. “There are so many things that can go wrong Tessa.”

“The moment the reaper appears it’s game over Damien.” I crossed my arms, feeling more and more agitated. I had an awful feeling that if we didn’t try it now we wouldn’t get another chance. Exhaling slowly, I tried from reign in the panic.

“I know that Tessa but I need more time.” The sense of urgency in his voice made my heart ache.

He swallowed. For the first time I saw the vulnerability in him. He was usually so hard so capable but in that moment I saw the Damien, the boy who was just as scared as I was.

“I can’t lose you.” His words were softly spoken.

I trembled, feeling that exact same feeling burning in my heart as I gazed at him. The intensity of what I felt for him took my breath momentarily from my lungs.

“You’re not going to lose me,” I assured him with a confidence I could not feel.

But the truth was if we didn’t find a way to get rid of the mark, he would. We would lose each other.

He reached for my hand and took it in his. “I can’t exist without you Tessa.”

I wanted to put my arms around him and hold him close, to breathe the words that I loved him into his ear so he could hold onto them like a beacon of hope.

“I don’t know how what’s going to happen Damien. I want to believe it will work out but what if it doesn’t…” I swallowed slowly, fear clawing its way up inside me.

His eyes held mine. They were beautiful. He was beautiful. I allowed my gaze to take in every handsome feature of his face, from his dark lashes to the strong jawline that I had the urge to kiss.

“I want something from you before we try this crazy plan.”

He shook his head. “Not yet.”

I ignored him. “I want something from you.”

“Anything.” he vowed.

I wasn’t sure he would be so agreeable when I told him what I wanted. Suddenly, I felt so nervous. The way someone was with someone they cared about navigating a new experience.

Tentatively in the quietness of my room, I lifted my hand to place it against his chest. His eyes were on me.

“Tell me what you want,” he whispered, his voice husky. It sent a thrill through me.

“I want you.” I revealed, hoping he wouldn’t reject me for fear I would never have the courage to try this again. “I don’t want to die without …um being with someone.”

He didn’t answer. Instead he continued to stare deep into my eyes.

“You were my first kiss and I want you to be my first…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. My cheeks deepened to a red heat.

“Lover?” he questioned.

I nodded slowly. I was putting myself out there, not sure I could take any rejection for any reason.

His gaze moved to my lips causing a flutter in the stomach.

His hand covered mine. “Are you sure Tessa?” he asked when his face lifted to mine.

I nodded, holding my breath. Feeling the warmth of his touch spread through me, making me feel more alive than I had ever felt.

“I want this more than anything.” I paused, feeling overwhelmed by the emotion I felt for him.

“This…” His eyes fixed to my lips. “…might just makes things harder.”

The air between us thickened. I could only focus on him, nothing else.

The list of reasons to not go through with it were longer than the lists of reasons why I shouldn’t but I didn’t care. This wasn’t about logic, this was about how I felt, how Damien made me feel.

“More difficult than the regret we might have to live with if we never get this chance again?” I voiced my concern. I bit my lip trying to keep myself from placing my lips against his. He had to have a choice. I had made my already.

“You’re not mine Tessa.” He swallowed. “You’re supposed to be Joey’s.”

I could understand why a guardian angel he might be hesitant to take a place he believed belonged to another.

There was a struggle inside of him, between what he wanted and what he believed.

“Joey isn’t the one who makes my heart race the way it is right now.” I took his hand and placed it above my heart. “This is for you, only you.”

If I was truly destined to be with Joey, I wouldn’t feel what I felt for Damien. What if this was where we were both meant to be, feeling what we felt for each other? What if we belonged together?

I exhaled slowly keeping our eyes connected, fearing something would interrupt and take the moment from us.

He focussed only mouth as I anticipated a kiss that would show him that he was the only one I wanted.

His mouth neared mine. I could feel his breath against my lips as I closed my eyes waiting for his lips to touch mine.

Then my phone started to ring breaking the moment. My eyes flew open. Damien stepped backed and look to my phone beside my bed on the night stand. Damn it. I was beyond frustrated.

It wasn’t like I had any social life. Who on earth was calling me?

I stalked over to glare momentarily at the offending object before I picked it up.

Joey. It was Joey.

Then I remembered I was supposed to message him to let him know I got home safe. Damn it.

“Hi,” I answered feeling an unwelcome flutter in my chest.

“Hey. I was just checking up on you.” Joey’s voice was relaxed and I felt as tight as a rubber band, stretched to the max which was about to snap.

“Yeah…um I’m sorry I forgot to message you.”

I had been too busy trying to figure out what had happened in our encounter I had totally forgotten that I had told him I would let him know when I got home.

It also warmed my heart that he had called to check and then I felt annoyed that I cared. I didn’t want to care about him, in the way one did when you liked each other.

I chose Damien, there was no room for Joey.

“It’s fine. I just wanted to make sure you got home safe.”

Damien’s eyes held mine, watching me like he could read my mind. Seeing the momentary indecision and doubt. I saw the moment his eyes shuttered, blocking all emotion. I had lost the connection we had shared a short time ago.

“Thanks,” I murmured, touched and annoyed by his concern.

Feeling annoyed that the phone call from Joey had interrupted us. Was it confirmation for Damien that he was right and that my rightful place would always be with Joey and not him.

When I ended the call the emotional distance between Damien and I felt too vast to bridge.

“What did he want?” Damien’s voice was right. Jealously flared in the depths of his eyes.

I shrugged. “He wanted to make sure I got home okay after the park incident.”

I stepped closer to him and he backed up keeping the distance between us.

“We need to focus on keeping you alive. That’s all that matters.”

He wanted to keep it that simple but life rarely was.