I barely slept a wink. I had too much on my mind and there was nothing like seeing the ghost of your dead friend to keep you up all night, too scared to sleep.

But that wasn’t my only problem.

I had to deal with Damien. After last night, the incident with Joey and the one with the broken glass he was the last person I wanted to get a ride with to school. I was so tempted stay in bed and let everything outside my room carry on without me. Arguing that it would only make me seem weak and would only put off seeing Joey for a day.

It was better to just get it over with, the time spent agonizing over seeing him again would feel like pure punishment. Putting it off would only delayed the inevitable.

I stood with my arms crossed waiting for Damien deep in thought when he arrived.
I got in and secured my seatbelt. His gaze was on me but I refused to say anything or even acknowledge his attention.

I had to get a lift with him, but that didn’t mean I had to interact with him. It was his action that led to the demise of my relationship with Joey.

It was only when he didn’t immediately pull away that I faced him.

“What?” I asked, when he didn’t say anything but kept staring at me.

“How’s the foot?”

I shrugged. “I’ll live.” I sighed. “Look I appreciate your help last night but it doesn’t change anything between us. We are not friends, we are not even acquaintances. You’re a neighbor that gives me a lift to and from school. That’s it. Okay?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Man did your boyfriend dodge a bullet with you,” he muttered as he pressed his foot to the gas.

I rolled my eyes at him before making a point of looking out the window. His comment hurt even when I wanted to be indifferent to it. I insisted to myself that I didn’t care. He wasn’t anything to me, and anything he said didn’t matter either.

Dread filled me as I stared out the window. I didn’t want to face Joey but I had to. It would be hard but I could not hide forever. It just wasn’t possible.

When we arrived at school Damien parked the car and got out without even looking in my direction.

It was best to keep my distance from him, I didn’t want to have to analyze why he made me behave so out of character. So far it had already cost me a relationship.

I did a quick scan for Joey but didn’t see him. Reluctantly, I got out of the car and headed into the school pulling the strap of my bag over my shoulder tighter.

There were murmurs but I ignored them. It was probably already doing the rounds in the gossip groups.

I kept my head down even though every now and then I would search for Joey in the sea of students in the hallways. By lunch time I was tied up in knots and hadn’t even caught a glimpse of him. I considered the possibility he might have skipped school. There was a part of me that hoped he had.

I sat by myself. I had never felt so lonely. Parker had been my only friend and he was gone. I swallowed as I remembered seeing his ghost. Joey had been the only person I had and without him I had no one. It was made me feel a little sorry for myself even though I had only myself to blame.

Damien.

I found him a few tables away. He was engrossed with the girl beside him. The same one he had been kissing. He kept saying he wasn’t in any relationship but she always seemed to be around. If I remembered correctly her name was Clarissa.

She was beautiful, the type that guys gravitated to. The complete opposite to me. I frowned, not liking where my thoughts were taking me.

I was still staring at them when Damien’s attention moved to lock his eyes with me. Awareness zapped through me, I could not look away. His gaze was bold and intense. Stripping everything away to see deep inside of me. That was what made me break the connection.

What was I doing? It’s like when it came to him I had no self control. I averted my gaze refusing to look in his direction again even when I could feel the heat of his eyes still on me.

I couldn’t help but look for Joey. There was a part of me that hoped he would have cooled off and we might be able to have a cordial conversation. But when I found him as he entered the cafeteria, his features were hard and unforgiving as he stared at me across the room. Any hope that we would be able to part on any good terms when up in smoke. I could only blame myself even if part wanted to share that blame with Damien. I had made the choice and I had to live with the consequences as much as I hated seeing how much I had hurt Joey.

His eyes scathed mine from across the noisy cafeteria. I could not look away, I deserved every ounce of his anger and hurt. My throat burned but I refused to cry. He glared at me before he looked away. I took a shaky breath as I tried to gain my composure.

I spent next twenty minutes struggling to pull my gaze from Joey who was ignoring me. He was talking to a couple of girls. I watched feeling hurt.

Eventually I got up and discarded the barely touched food before I headed out the cafeteria. I could only handle so much. I felt raw inside.

For the rest of the day I walked around disheartened, keeping to myself. I felt like an outcast, not sense of belonging. Before I had been Joey’s girlfriend and now I wasn’t.

Students around me laughed and talked. It added to my loneliness and stirred the old feeling of not belonging. I had moved so many times, fitting in had become a full time job. This time I had ruined things and there was no fixing it.

I trudged to the Damien’s car when school ended. I was in no hurry to see him locking lips with Clarissa.

I hated my life.

Damien was not by his car when I exited the school. Strange I looked around but didn’t see him so I stood beside the car and waited for him.

I watched other students leave and as I looked back there stood Joey watching me. I straightened up.

Everything else evaporated.

He walked down to where I stood slowly. This time his expression was unreadable.

“Joey,” I said when he stopped a couple of feet from me.

“Who was it?” His voice tight.

“Who what?” I asked, confused shaking my head slightly.

“The guy. The guy you kissed. Who is he?”

There is only one reason he wanted that information and the last thing I needed was some sort of confrontation between the two of them. Besides I was pretty sure Joey wouldn’t fair well against Damien.

Where there was a wholesomeness about Joey, there was a dark and dangerous undercurrent with Damien. It was something I could feel, even if I hadn’t seen it. Joey was already hurting emotionally and if I revealed to him that it had been Damien it would end up in some sort of confrontation which I was convinced Joey would be the one to come off worst.

“It doesn’t matter,” I murmured, wanting him to move on from it. “It doesn’t change anything.”

His jaw was tense. “I should be the one to get to decide what is important and what isn’t.” He took a step closer. “I deserve to know.”

I put my hand to my forehead, trying to figure out a way to dissuade him when I noticed Damien approaching.

I took a breath, hoping that things wouldn’t blow up when Damien came to stand beside me.

“This doesn’t concern you,” Joey said in a clipped tone to Damien.

“I don’t give a fuck what you think.” Damien rolled his shoulders slightly in a threatening way.

I put my hand to Damien’s chest. “Stop.”

It was only when I looked back to Joey did I see him visibly connect the dots. I didn’t need to tell him who I had kissed. He knew.

He glared at Damien who took stared him down, almost edging him to do something.

I held my breath as they sized each other up.