
Chapter1-pt1
I lay on the bed on my side staring into the distance, not focusing on anything. My body was numb, my emotions matched the lack of physical awareness. It was only in this state that I could suppress the memories, the only time I had any kind of peace.
The mattress moved as man beside me shifted in the bed. I didn’t even take notice of him. I didn’t want to allow anything to penetrate my mood. These moments were fleeting and if I didn’t focus on savoring them, they would be gone too soon. Leaving me with a pain so intense I couldn’t bear.
It was the banging on the door that finally cut through to me. It echoed in the barely furnished apartment.
My limbs felt so heavy, I could barely lift my head. I moved my head to look at the man in the bed beside me. His eyes were closed but he began to wake.
“What the fuck!” he murmured, annoyed by the interruption. “Who the fuck is it?”
I swallowed, my throat so dry. My mind too fuzzy to think straight.
“Answer the door,” he commanded, shoving me off the bed.
I landed with a thump on the floor. I rubbed my hip, trying to find the balance to get to my feet. Standing tentatively, the banging on the door grew louder and louder.
“Answer the door bitch,” he groaned with, growing frustration at the insistent sound echoing through the apartment.
I made my way, on unsteady legs to the door leaning against the door before I gathered the energy to open it. The sun glared down at me, blinding me for a moment. I swayed.
It couldn’t be real, my brain refused to process it as such.
“Hadley?”
I frowned. The voice was so familiar. It washed over me taking me back to a time where there hadn’t been pain. If I closed my eyes I could feel the breeze, the laughter in the background. I swallowed. I could almost grasp the memory, like a ballon floating through the air. If I could just grab it I would be hold onto it. It would bring me peace. But it moved out of my reach and I was left watching it drift away into the storm clouds. Then the darkness surrounded me, suffocating the air around me.
Then with a blink I was back in the musty apartment, standing with the door open. I inhaled sharply, filling my lungs with a hard breath.
I put my hand to block the sun from my view to take in the culprit who had been so insistent on waking up the dead.
It couldn’t be possible. The familiar brown eyes that touched me right down to my soul were staring wide and alarmed at me. Those same brown eyes I had day dreamed over, time and time again. I swallowed hard, not quite believing what I was seeing.
Jack.
Was I hallucinating? It was the only logical answer. I blinked but the vision didn’t fade into the distant.
“Jack…” I murmured, staring intently at him. Expecting him to disappear at any moment.
“Had.”
His voice washed over me, awakening things in me, long dead. Old memories, some good. But most bad, traumatic. I inhaled sharply. I couldn’t go back, I didn’t want to remember.
I shook my head slowly, taking a step back. Feeling the need to get away but I tripped and fell.
“Had,” the voice said again. But this time I felt a hand on my arm.
I looked to the man who bent down beside me, the concern in his eyes wretched my heart open. It left me raw and vulnerable for everyone to see.
“Jack,” I murmured again.
He touched my face. “Hadley.”
The sound of my name on his lips brought back the rush of memories and the pain.
I lifted my hand to touch his face, to feel that he was not part of my imagination but fear kept me from tracing my fingers against his skin. He was a reminder of what I had been trying to escape.
“No,” I murmured, trying to pull away from him.
“Had,” he said, more insistent. His hand still on my arm, keeping me from distancing myself.
“No,” I repeated, I shook my head. It was reality I didn’t want to experience.
“Had, it’s me. Jack.” He touched my face but moved away, holding myself at distance as I allowed my eyes to take him in.
It felt like a lifetime ago. I wasn’t the same person, I wasn’t Had. I was Gia. I wasn’t the innocent sixteen year old that had witnessed things so horrific it changed me forever, I was Gia the girl who didn’t care anymore.
I tried to pull free, I couldn’t confront the person I was, the one who had tried to outrun the horrors I had witnessed.
“No.” I found my voice. “NO.”
“Had, let me help you.”
I was back in that dark forest, shivering. I was so cold, I felt it right down in my bones. Dressed only in my underwear I was running, stumbling. Out running the death I had witnessed, for fear it would take me.
“Hadley.” I heard in the distance, so far away I didn’t know if I had the energy to get there. Fear had kept me going.
The silence accompanied by my heavy breathing as I navigated the dark forest, my feet and knees muddied. I no longer felt the pain, adrenaline kept me from giving up.
“Hadley.” I heard it again, this time closer.
Just as I broke through the tress I saw a flashlight in the distance.
It had been like a beacon of hope.
“Hadley,” the person in the distance yelled into the darkness.
The emotion I had kept a tight lid on for fear it would allow the evil to find began to break free. I trembled as I whimpered.
The flashlight stilled.
“Had?” the voice called out.
Jack. I would have recognized that voice anywhere.
I stumbled and cried out as I scrapped my knee. The tears that burned my eyes began to stream.
“Hadley,” the voice yelled, closer.
I couldn’t answer. The emotion to strong as I began to cry and shake.
Then Jack was on his knees in front of me.
“Hadley,” he said, amazed.
I felt the warmth of his jacket before I realized he had removed his jacket and draped it around my shoulders, giving me warmth.
I cried, finally feeling safe and he put his arm around me, hugging me close. His skin warm against mine. I closed my eyes, overwhelmed.
My hair was matted and dirty.
“I’ve got you,” he murmured to me. “I’ve got you now.”
He pulled out his phone and called someone. “I have Hadley.”
Then he ended the call.
I was still crying, the vision of him blurred.
“Where is Alice?”
My heart shredded into a million pieces. I shook my head. I couldn’t accept what I had witnessed, I didn’t know to put it into words.
“Where is Alice, Hadley?” he asked again.
I began to sob. He brushed the tears from my face. “I need to find Alice.”
There was no finding Alice. She was gone.
I shook my head, unable to form words.
“It’s okay Had,” he soothed, hugging me to him.
I allowed the warmth from his body to warm mine as I shivered.
I was back in the present as Jack stared at the marks in my arms. “Had.” I could hear the despair in his voice. I snatched my arm free from his inspection.
He reached out to touch my cheek. The one that held still ached from earlier.
“Had, I’m here to help.”
I hated that he was seeing me like this. At my lowest point. I shook my head. No one could help me. No one.
No one could fix what was broken.
“You can’t,” I whispered.
“Let me help you Had.” The sound of his voice touched something in me, unraveling me.
“No one can help me.” I began to cry. Jack touched my cheek.
“What the fuck Gia!”
I turned to see Ryder in the hallway as he took in Jack on a bended knee by me.
He stormed into the room. “What the fuck do you want?” He glared at Jack.
Jack rose to his full height, stepping in front of me and taking the full force of Ryder’s threatening glare. His wide shoulders blocking Ryder from my view.
I cowered, in fear.