That night I slept beside Silas in his bed. Something had changed between us and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. He wasn’t keeping his usual distance from me. Maybe it was the fact that I was pregnant with his babies that had changed the dynamic between us.

The nausea hit me just as I woke. I managed to get to the bathroom in time to heave over the toilet bowl. Silas was there beside me. Holding my hair back and with a cool facecloth to press against my forehead. It was very different from before and it only cemented my feelings for him.

Afterward, he helped me back into bed. I curled up with the covers up to my chin and closed my eyes. I felt awful and hoped it would pass soon.

Silas paced while I closed my eyes and tried to stop myself from bolting back the bathroom. I kept my eyes closed and my breathing shallow, trying to get through each wave of nausea. I heard the door but I didn’t dare open and eye to look. All my focus was what I was experiencing.

A few minutes later the door opened.

“I have some tea that will help.” It was Silas.

It felt like it took all the energy I had to open an eye. “Tea?”

He nodded. “It will help.”

At that point I would have tried anything to feel better.

He helped me sit up and handed me the cup.

I sipped the warm contents. It tasted horrible. I scrunched my nose up in disgust. “This is awful.”

Silas smiled. “I promise it will help.”

I eyed him out, not convinced but I took another tentative sip. It tasted like dirt and grass in hot water.

The second sip went down better. It was already starting to work. I took another sip.

“Drink slowly,” Silas instructed.

“It’s working.” I still couldn’t quite believe the vile tasting brewed liquid was helping.

My stomach settled and I took a deep breath. The nausea was gone.

“Your color looks better.” Silas touched my cheek.

“I feel better.”

Once I finished the tea, I felt normal again.

“Are you up to going out today?” he asked out of the blue. “I need to show you something.”

The tea had worked wonders so I nodded.

It took me longer than usual to get ready and I managed. Silas secured a cloak around my shoulders.

“This will keep anyone from seeing anything.”

I nodded. There wasn’t much to see but if someone looked close enough they would be able to see my small rounded stomach.

We drove the familiar route back to the compound and I felt nervous. I hated the place. It held all the negativity from my time as a Sire and I associated the familiar building with all the pain and fear I had endured.

“Why are you bringing me here Silas?” I asked, worried for what lay in store.

“The doctor has made a special exception for us and I needed to show you this.”

I didn’t have time to ask anything further when the car stopped and someone opened the door. Silas got out first and he helped me to my feet. I held onto his arm a little tighter, feeling panicked.

“This visit will be quick.”

That did nothing to ease the fear that spiked in me.

He led me into the building and through a maze of passages until we arrived at a double door with a key paid. He keyed in a code. It was white, sterile, clinical.

The smell of antiseptic was the first thing that I noticed as we passed through the doors.

Silas stopped outside the first door to the right. “I need you to stay calm.”

I was anything but calm. I nodded anyway.

He opened the door and I followed tentatively.

What I saw made me stop. The door closed behind me as I took in the rows of glass coffins filled pregnant women. There were six. It took a moment for me to realize they would be Sires, like me.

“Silas.” I spoke his name as the full horror of what I was witnessing struck me.

They were all asleep with oxygen masks and various drips and what looked like feeding tubes.

“What is...this?” My eyes went to Silas.

“This is all the research and science we have put together over the years to give Sires the best possible chance of survival.”

I opened and closed my mouth. I was speechless.

All I could see was me in every one of the women.

“They are given the best treatment we have to ensure the healthy survival of the children as well as the mothers.”

That wasn’t what I saw. To me it was very much something to fear. To me completely at the mercy of others and totally unaware of what was going on. Given no choice and no part in the development of the pregnancy. How on earth did this women bond with their babies if they were out of it for most of it?

“This is cruel Silas. Just plain cruel.” I finally found the right words to describe what I was seeing.

“This isn’t a perfect world Avery. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the greater good.”

“The only people who are sacrificing anything are Sires, Silas. And not even for their own benefit.”

It was only to increase the numbers of the vampires to ensure their survival. No one seemed to care about the survival of the Sires, other than to bear more children. It was barbaric.

My hand went to my stomach. “Why show me this?” I looked to him.

“Let’s wait until we are back at the house before we have this conversation.”

I didn’t want to wait. I wanted to know right now why he had felt it was important to show me this. Was this his way of ensuring I knew my place?

“I don’t want to stay here longer than absolutely necessary.” He took my arm and pulled me reluctantly from the room.

I didn’t want to wait until we got back to the house to have this conversation but I allowed him to get me back into the car before I faced him.

“Why?” I asked the question softly, afraid of what his answer would be.

He wouldn’t lie to soften the blow, if anything he was always brutally honest. Even if it hurt.

“When Sires become pregnant they are sedated and cared for during the pregnancy. It is rare for a Sire to be awake for it.”

That was horrifying. “Don’t make me Silas. I can’t do it.”

“I won’t. As long as you’re able to cope.”

There was another horrifying thought. “What if I can’t?”

He studied me.

“I told you I would do everything I can to ensure your survival.”

I shifted away from him. He couldn’t possibly even be considering doing that to me.

“Everything Avery. Including putting you under like the Sires at the compound.”

Shaking my head, I refused to even look at him. Anything special I had felt connected with him evaporated and I was reminded of the balance of power that tilted back into his favor.

“Don’t I get a say?” I asked.

“I don’t want to force it on you Avery. It’s the last thing I want but I have to ensure your survival.”

I frowned. “Don’t you mean the babies. That’s what this is all about.”

This time I turned to face him.

“Without you there are no children.”

And there it was. I was reminded of how little I meant, despite what we had shared and it made me feel winded.

I shouldn’t have expected anything less. Just when I thought there was a possibility he had a way of crushing it with reality. It was difficult to accept but it was a reminder of how differently I had seen things. I had allowed myself to develop feelings for him and that screwed my perception of things between us.

I was just another sire, to be used for whatever I could provide. And in this instant that was the babies I was carrying.

Unable to even look at him I stared out of the window, wishing I was anywhere but there with him. Every time I looked at him I was reminded of how I felt about him and what he didn’t feel for me.