I surveyed all the expensive sparkling rings laid out in front of me. There was everything from diamonds to emeralds in every type of cut in different settings. Instead of being excited I was angry and trying to hide it from the watchful man across from me. My marriage to Angel was not going to based on love and respect but I at least expected him to have some input into the ring I would wear as his wife but he had been a no show when the jeweler had arrived.

“If none of these are to your liking I can show you some different designs,” the jeweler said as I lifted my attention from the rings.

None of them felt right even though no expense had been spared. Maybe it was because it was a lie. There would be no love and maybe that made it more difficult to choose a ring to represent that.

Did he think it was strange that I didn’t have my doting fiancé with me?

“I think I just need a little more time to figure out what I want,” I finally admitted, trying to bring the meeting to an end. I could look all day and would still be no closer to picking one. I was wasting his time and my own.

I felt disheartened and annoyed when he finally pack his merchandise up and left. There had still been no sign of Angel and I fumed in my bubble of anger. The toxic feeling simmered under the surface and would explode like a volcano when Angel finally made an appearance.

I was inside my closet going through the boxes of my stuff Angel had kept for me when I heard a knock at my bedroom door.

I opened the door and Angel entered without any invitation. He owned the house but my bedroom was still my own, it was beyond irritating.

All the feelings of anger returned swiftly and I glared at him as I closed the door.

“You didn’t pick a ring,” he said with a frown. “Were they not to your liking? I made sure he was instructed to bring the best he had.”

“Where were you?”

He seemed taken aback by my question.

“I was dealing with your new security requirements. He can bring some more designs around until you find one you like.”

I put my hands on my hips and tried to count to ten to reign in my temper but I only got to two before I exploded.

“That wont be necessary, I’m not going to wear a ring,” I declared. “What’s the point of all of this if I’m in it on my own?”

His frown deepened. “You will wear a ring. If you don’t choose one, I will,” he scowled.

“If you’re not interested in what ring I choose, what does it matter?” I snapped. My chest rose and feel with each hate filled breath. “Do you know what it felt like to be on my own choosing my own engagement ring?”

“If you wanted me there, all you had to do was ask Kira,” he replied angrily and that fueled my anger. What right did he have to mad at me? I was the only who had a right to feel like I was doing this all on my own.

“Why did I have to ask you to be there Angel? In most engagements the guy picks the ring, or if the couple pick the ring they do it together.” I wanted to rid myself of the feeling that I was an inferior choice. If this had been for love he would have chosen a ring and proposed. That’s what stood out the most in the whole scenario and it was hard to swallow.

Was the problem that I had different expectations to what he had? Was I still playing out some fairytale in my head that didn’t exist in reality? Were my expectations too high?

“I can’t read your mind Kira. If you had wanted me to be there all you had to do was ask.” He didn’t seem to understand why I was getting so upset over something inconsequential to him.

I blew out a frustrated breath. “There is no point if I have to explain it to you or ask you to be there.”

He did something uncharacteristic and took my hand in his. He had never done something like this before I was taken aback, unsure of how to deal with it. I lowered my gaze to his long fingers that held mine and I let out a shaky breath. When he touched me I felt something strange come over me, where it blocked everything else other than him and where his skin touched mine. It reminded me of how lost I had been with him on his desk in the study and it made my cheeks warm to remember what we had done. I swallowed.

“I’ll reschedule with him and this time I’ll be there with you.” His thumb brushed against the back of my hand soothingly.

I shook my head and pulled my hands from his.

“Why bother? This isn’t a real marriage. This is just to protect me.” I crossed my arms. “Why would you care what ring I wear, right?”

I turned around and walked away from him, feeling the weight of the situation bear down on me.

It wasn’t his fault that things had ended up like this. In all honesty, it was the actions of my father that had led us to this.

“I’ll choose the ring.” He moved closer but didn’t touch me. “And you will wear it.”

“This isn’t a real marriage so what’s the point.” I let out a frustrated breath.

“Our marriage will be a real as any one else’s. We might not love each other and at times we might not even like each other but once you say those vows you will be mine and I expect you to wear a ring to show that.”

“To show that you possess me?” I asked. He had possessed me fully the day before and it was impossible not to think of that right then.

He nodded.

“And you? Will you be wearing one to show everyone that I own you?” I turned to face him.

“If that’s what you want, then I will.” He shrugged, like it wasn’t a big deal.

I hadn’t quite expected him to agree to it. He had taken the wind right of my sails and I was left floundering.

What confused me the most when I thought of anyone else treating me like this I rebelled against the thought, but with Angel I reveled in it. Was there something wrong with me? That the thought of him wanting to posses me made me hot all over and I wanted it more than anything else.

Was this the power my father had held over my mother? Is that why she had stayed instead of leaving? Was this what ultimately destroyed her?

“If people don’t believe this marriage is for real aren’t we kidding ourselves that it will be enough to keep the Vincents at bay?” I asked, trying to put my fears into words so he could understand why it was so important for people to believe that he loved me, so they would believe he would start a war if something happened to me. It was the fear of retribution that would keep them from trying to take me.

“You will be my wife, you will wear my ring and I will kill for you.” His words were softly spoken but impactful. There was a defiant glint to his eye and I knew he meant every word he said.

“Maybe I still question why you are going to so much trouble for me. I don’t get it Angel. I know you don’t love me so why would you do this? It makes no sense.”

Maybe if I understood why he was doing this I would be able to deal with it better than I was.

“I’ve known you since you were six years old. My blood might not run in your veins but you are family Kira and I protect family.”

His words touched a damaged part of me that had felt completely alone in the world.

My mother died and left me with a father who didn’t care about me at all and my brother, who was too busy trying to outrun his past to be the brother I needed him to be.

As far back as I could remember Angel had been a part of my life whether they were good or bad memories the one thing that had been constant was him.

He is the one who had tried to protect me when my father had tried to use me to pay off his debt to the Vincents. He was the one trying to protect me now. Angel protected me more than the people whose blood I shared and that meant something to me.

For the first time I wasn’t seeing the domineering man who stood before me now, I was seeing the boy who had shared my childhood and all the moments where he had been kind and stood by me when no one else had.

In the end we had decided to choose each other’s rings. There were still so many things we needed to discuss and decision we had to make which I planned on addressing but I needed a break from the whole wedding thing and analyzing how differently I was seeing Angel.

That night I spent another restless night tossing and turning. I beat my pillow but no matter what I tried I couldn’t get comfortable. I was too hot and the bed was too hard.

I was lying in bed staring at the ceiling trying to figure out what was bugging me so much that sleep had become so elusive. I heard a commotion and sat up.

It sounded like someone yelled and a door slammed, shaking the door frame. Then it sounded like multiple voices. I couldn’t make out if they were arguing or not. What the hell was going on?

Feeling nervous but too inquisitive to remain in the bed I slid out and got my dressing gown. I tightened the belt before I opened my door.

“Who did this?” It sounded like Angel it was coming from downstairs.

Then someone groaned.

“Where’s the doctor?” The voice was familiar but I was too far away to place it.

Quietly, I descended the stairs and followed the commotion to the kitchen. I wasn’t not prepared in anyway for what I witnessed.

It was chaos. There was a guy whose face I couldn’t see on the counter. Angel stood with his hands pressed against his shoulder as the injured guy groaned in pain. There was another guy with his hands against another injury on his side. There was blood. So much blood, it dripped and pooled on the floor. The crimson red was bold against the white tiles. The sight of it would made me faint but it was like my mind couldn’t process what was happening because there was so much going on. The metallic smell of the blood hit my nostrils and I felt my stomach turn.

James, Angel’s second in charge was cutting the guys shirt off. There was blood on his hands as he worked methodically. He was so calm while I was on the verge of hyperventilating. My breath was stuck in my lungs as I watched James remove the shirt before he began took over pressing his hands to the wound just below the guy’s rib cage.

It was unlike anything I had ever seen before. I had seen violence, guns, drugs, overdoses, prostitution but never anything like this. The guy looked like he was bleeding to death right in front of me.

Then the front door banged open making my heart slam in my chest and I turned to see another guy dressed in a suit rush straight past me to the injured guy. It was no one had noticed me standing there watching it all go down, they were all too focussed on the guy who was injured.

“How many times has he been shot?” The man who just arrived asked James as he took at look at the wound James lifted his hands from.

“Twice, I think.”

I reached out to touch the wall, feeling like the my world was tilting. I drew in a hard breath knowing if I didn’t I was going to faint right where I stood.

Then the guy who was on the table turned and I finally got a look at his face.

It couldn’t be. I inhaled sharply. Bruno laying on the table. His eyes met mine and I couldn’t look away.

The shouting increased but I couldn’t make out what was being said as it felt like my heartbeat was drowning everything out around me. My only senses that seemed to be working was what I was seeing.

Then through everything I heard Angel say my name. “Kira?”

I lifted my eyes to meet his. There was a steak of blood on his cheek. I closed my eyes to stop from seeing the blood everywhere.

“Get her out of here.” I heard him yell.

In felt like everything unfolded in slow motion as someone took me by the arms but when my feet wouldn’t budge they picked me up to carry me away.

I closed my eyes tightly, still trying to come back out out of the bubble as I was taken into the living room. They lay me down on the sofa and I kept my eyes closed unable to process what I had just seen.

“Miss Ward?” Someone asked.

“I…” I shut my mouth, trying to force myself to inhale and exhale. It was like the shock had caused me to stop breath automatically and I had to remember to do it.

“I need you to sit up,” a man instructed.

I opened my eyes and I saw a man’s face above mine. I didn’t recognise him. He looked just a few years older than me and he held a glass of what looked like water.

“Can you drink some of this?” he asked as he got me to sit up.

I nodded and he pressed the glass to my lips. I took a sip. It wasn’t just water, there was sugar in. Then my mind ticked over, it was for shock. How on earth did I know that? Nothing in my immediate memory answered how I knew that.

It reminded me of something, something I had long forgotten. But it wasn’t the blood soaked scene of Bruno’s shooting but the still body of my mother on her bed. Her eyes unseeing.

I had screamed. I remembered that. A howling pained screamed. Then I vaguely remember Angel being there. He had bundled me out of my mother’s room and to the safety of my room. He had also given me sugar water to help with the shock while others had dealt with calling an ambulance.

“You need to drink a little more.” The young man insisted and I tried to drink some more but it was like my body was slower to follow instructions.

Slowly, I felt like I could breathe again even though I couldn’t get rid of the image of the blood or the memory of my mother who I had discovered dead in her bed.

I rested my head in my hands. The guy who had been attending to me set the glass down in front of me.

“Thank you,” I murmured, somehow remembering my manners.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked and I nodded lifting my eyes to his.

“I need you to stay here. I’ll be back in a minute.”

I nodded again. After witnessing there was no way I was going anywhere near the kitchen.

I could still hear yelling and hurried efforts. Not wanting to listen to another moment of it I put my hands over my ears and closed my eyes, trying to shut it all out.

I wanted to be anywhere but there. Laying down on the sofa I took a cushion and put it over my head to block out what was happening. I couldn’t listen to anymore of it.

But it continued. And no matter what I tried nothing blocked it out. I had to get out of there but I couldn’t bring myself to open the doors to the living room to escape, it entailed going past the kitchen which I couldn’t do.

Then my eyes moved to the library and the only other way out.

Someone yelled and that was the last straw. I hurried to the bookcase and tilted the book to me. The bookcase shifted and I hurried inside the passage, closing the door behind me. Inside the passage it was dusty but I couldn’t hear the commotion anymore.

It was silent. I leaned against the wall and slid down to bring my knees to my chest. I rested my chin on my knees and took a deep breath before releasing it slowly as I tried to gain some sort of sanity that evaporated the moment I had seen Bruno on the kitchen counter.

But each time I closed my eyes all I could see was the blood, on the floor, smeared on Angel, on James’ hands. So I tried to concentrate on grooves in the wall across from me and imagine anything but what I had witnessed.

I began to murmur to myself to keep from thinking back to what I didn’t want to remember.

My mother’s dead body in her bed. A bottle of pills beside her bed.

I curled my fingers into fists to ride out the emotions I remember experiencing. At thirteen, I had been too young to understand what her death would mean. It was only now as a twenty one year old I understood the impact of her loss.

I didn’t want to remember my mother’s death, I didn’t want to think about what Bruno was going through.

“Everything is fine,” I whispered, feeling like I was on the verge of tears. If I kept saying it, it would be true. I didn’t want Bruno to die. He had always been so nice to me, he didn’t deserve any of this.

Feeling like the little girl who had lost so much I rocked back and forth trying to find some sort of comfort.