Angel returned to the study shortly after my brother stormed out.

“I take it things didn’t go well?” he asked as he closed the door behind him.

“What gave you that impression?” I asked grumpily, sitting in the chair as I tried to gather my thoughts about what had just gone down between me and my brother. His anger at my refusal to do as he wanted played heavily on my mind.

If I went through this marriage with the man who sat across from me, I was on my own. There would be no over protective brother waiting in the wings to step in.

I let out a shaky breath.

“If you’re having second thoughts, you need to tell me now.”

I lifted my eyes to meet his. “I’m not.”

He studied me. “Then the sooner we discuss the details, the better for everyone.”

I nodded. “Okay. Let’s get this over and done with.”

“Do you have a specific ring design in mind?” he asked, moving to sit behind his desk.

I shook my head. “I’ve never really thought about it.”

“I’ll organize someone to bring you some rings to have a look at it.”

This was all so business, like it was taking all the romance out of the dream of getting engaged. The more time I spent discussing it like a business deal, the more anxious I was that I was getting myself into a situation I wasn’t very prepared for.

This was Angel. The boy had I grown up with, but there was nothing boyish about him now. He was all man, and I averted my gaze from him, trying to stop myself from staring at him too openly.

“I have a question.”

He nodded.

“Is this going to be a proper marriage?” I asked, feeling very self-conscious at that moment. “Or is it just a pretend marriage where you’ll have your affairs on the side?”

“If anyone doubts the validity of this marriage, it will cause problems. It’s best to make this as real as possible.”

“I’m not sure what that means?”

“It means there won’t be any affairs.”

I swallowed again, very aware of how hot it suddenly became. His eyes held mine.

“What if I’m not ready?” I asked, not sure I was ready to jump right into this with him.

“It wasn’t so long ago you were ready to sleep with me…”

Did he have to remind of that in every conversation?

“That was the actions of a foolish sixteen-year-old. I’m not that girl anymore.” Life had hardened me. I saw the world with more realism that I had at that age. There was no more day dreaming for me.

I knew this marriage with Angel would not end in some fairytale ending. We would be lucky if we didn’t destroy each other.

“Perhaps we should see if we have chemistry before we discuss this any further.” He rose, and I stood up quickly.

“I’m sure that’s unnecessary.”

He prowled closer, and I had a panic of fear of what he would unleash. He cornered me slowly, his eyes searching mine as he came close. My back touched the wall, and he caged me in with a hand on either side of me.

I held my breath as he leaned closer, his lips nearly against mine.

“Tell me you want me to kiss you,” he whispered.

I felt hypnotized by the closeness of him. I could smell his cologne and it did strange things to me. My anxiousness replaced by curiosity as I reached out to put my hand against his chest. I felt the warmth of his body through the thin shirt he wore.

His eyes moved from my lips as I wet them.

I had lost count of how many times I had dreamed of his kiss and here he was so near, all I had to do was lift my lips to meet his. So close.

My hand gripped his shirt, and I pulled him closer, but he held his lips away from mine.

“Tell me Kira,” he commanded, refusing to kiss me until I did as he said.

My heart was beating louder and the only thing that mattered right there and then was having him seal his mouth against mine.

“Kiss me,” I whispered, desperate for him to touch his lips to mine.

But then he stepped away, and it left me cold when he released me and turned to walk back to his desk.

“I believe we have answered the question.”

He was so calm, and I was on fire. I pushed away from the wall and felt my temper rise at his abrupt action. Embarrassed that I had shown him how much I still wanted him, and I wanted to lash out at him.

“Wow, if that’s going to happen in our marriage, I’ll have to find someone else to finish the job.”

Before I knew what was happening, he had me pushed up against the wall. His hands were on my waist and this time his mouth covered mine. I put my hands against his chest as he kissed me. My first instinct to push him away didn’t happen, instead I held onto his shirt and pulled him closer.

His mouth crushed mine. His tongue demanded entry, and I opened my mouth. He plunged his tongue, tasting me. My knees weakened, and he lifted me. My legs wrapped around his waist, pressing against him, needing more. He carried me to the desk and set me down before he stood closer and I wrapped my legs round him as he held me closer. The only sound was our heavy breathing intermingling. I wanted him so badly. I had never burned for someone like this before.

My hands were already unbutton him shirt, and he shrugged out of it. I took a moment to explore his macular chest.

He reached for my shirt and lifted it over my head before our mouths fused together in a battle for dominance. I felt his hands move to unfasten my bra, and he slid it from my shoulders, displaying my breasts to him.

His thumb rubbed over my nipple, and I gasped. His mouth cover mine again. Our tongues tasted each other, and I linked my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. My sensitive peaks crushed against his chest.

I felt like I was on fire. My skin burned for his touch.

There was no thinking, just feeling.

He pulled me to stand. His hands went to the waist of my sweatpants. I pulled off. I stood only in my thin lacy underwear. My chest rose and fell with each hurried breath. My hands went to his belt, and I unzipped his trousers as our eyes locked together.

There was no stopping what was about to happen. Even my momentary apprehension wasn’t enough for me to hit the brakes and stop him.

He slid the underwear from my hips before he lifted me to place me back on his desk. Our lips met in a desperate kiss and I felt him free his cock from his trousers. I held him a little tighter, a little afraid but unable to voice it.

His finger traced the line of my sex and I closed my eyes, lost in his touch. It was all that mattered.

Slowly, he slid a finger into me. I panted as his mouth found mine and smothered another gasp as he pumped his finger.

“Tell me you want this,” he whispered it against my ears and I felt a shiver of want race through me.

“I want this.”

He removed his finger and then I felt the head of his cock nestle in-between my folds. I had a moment to steady myself as he slid into me. The pain was only momentary as he filled me in one full thrust, breaking through my hymen. I stiffened and gasped. The union of our bodies was complete.

He stilled while I held onto him.

“Are you okay?” His voice was gentle.

“Yes,” I whispered, still hurting, but I didn’t want him to stop.

“I need to move.” I could hear the strain in his voice.

I nodded, feeling unsteady in this unfamiliar territory. I’d heard so many stories, but nothing prepared me for this.

Slowly, he withdrew, and I bit my lip. His mouth touched mine, gently. His lips brushed against mine lightly as he eased back in. This time, there was less pain.

He kissed me slowly as I adjusted the movement. I held onto his shoulders, digging my nails into his skin as he moved a little faster than before, slowly building up a pace where I could feel something other than pain.

His hands angled me closer as he moved inside of me. They held me in place as he drew out every movement.

I need more. I gripped his shoulders tighter. He kissed long and hard. I felt the precision of his movements grow and I felt a buildup to something I couldn’t explain.

“I need…” I never finished my sentenced when he thrust into me completely. And then it happened. My whole body tightened and then I shuddered and he continued to move, pushing me higher until I gasped as I came.

His buttocks tightened with each thrust, and I pulled him closer until I felt him still and groan.

I had never felt so out of control. Like when he touched me, nothing else mattered. He could have me any way he wanted me, and that scared me more than anything. The balance of power lay in his favor, and I couldn’t control myself around him.

Now that it was over, I couldn’t face him. It was like as soon as he kissed me, I had been swept away by his touch. How could I face that? Any confidence I had felt was gone now. My hands moved to dig into the wooden table when he moved to pull his trouser back up while I avoided his gaze. To be so close, to have their body entwined with yours and then to feel so awkward after about it wasn’t something I had any experience in.

I had been there every step of the way, but I still couldn’t face him. I blamed myself for my momentary weakness that had led to this. He made me weak, and I hated it.

He retrieved our clothes and set them beside me. He touched my thigh, and I finally looked at him. There was no smugness, just concern.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” The gentleness in his voice stung.

Again, I felt like the power had shifted into his favor. I was at a disadvantage again. He had been with countless women and I had only ever been with him.

I shrugged as I moved off his desk and redressed. I turned my back to him after I saw the marks where I had dug my nails into his skin.

“I’m um.. fine.”

Only when I was fully dressed did I face him, feeling more protected. He hadn’t bothered to put his shirt back on, and the marks I had left on his skin made me uncomfortable. It reminded me of how he had moved my world.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

I frowned and crossed my arms defensively. “Didn’t tell you what?” I snapped sharply.

I was feeling so much and I needed space to work through it, not in the confines of a room shared with Angel, who was studying me closely.

“That you’ve never done this before.”

I pressed my lips together, not wanting to admit that no one had made me want to. The only time I had ever tried was the drunken night I had tried to seduce him and look at how that turned out.

“What does it matter?” I asked, feeling my cheeks heat.

“It matters Kira. I could have been more gentle and prepared you more.”

I had been afraid if I had admitted it, he would have stopped it altogether if he knew he was about to take a virgin. It wasn’t like I was saving myself. I had just been fussy about who I wanted to sleep with.

“How have you never done this before Kira?” He moved closer and I stood my ground, refusing to show him how much he affected me.

“It’s sex Angel. Nothing ground breaking.” I rolled my eyes, trying to brush his concern off as being over dramatic.

“How is it you had no problem stripping to get attention, but you never been with a guy?”

I shrugged, not knowing how to answer his question without revealing stuff I didn’t want to.

“It just never happened.” What did he want from me?

He studied me.

“Are you using any means of birth control?”

This was a conversation I never thought I would have with him. I shook my head. There had never been a need for it before.

“It’s probably best to use some for the time being.”

I wasn’t ready for this conversation at all. I’d just had sex for the first time only moments ago.

I nodded stiffly. My eyes went to the door, my exit.

“We need to set a date for the wedding and start planning.” He put his shirt on and buttoned it up. His muscles rippled beneath the thin fabric and I had to swallow as I remembered how his body had felt against mine.

Get yourself together, I told myself, but I was still in my head somewhere between memories.

“Sure whatever.” I didn’t care about weddings or planning. The only thing I wanted was to get as far away from him so I could figure out what had happened to me and I could make sure it never happened again.

“I like this more subdued Kira. Maybe I should do this more often to get you compliant.”

I scowled at him. He really knew how to push my buttons and set me off again. “If you think for a second I’m going to become one of those wives that you can walk all over, you have another thing coming. Do you hear me?”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He did something so uncharacteristic that it set me back. He smiled.

I could probably count the number of times he had smiled at me. The strange feeling from before grew into the middle of my chest and it felt like my heart fluttered. I didn’t know how to handle this Angel.

“I believe we have covered everything we need to for the time being. Do you have questions for me?”

“No.” I just wanted to get out of here. I reached the door and held the door handle.

“Just one thing,” he said, and I stopped, but I refused to turn to face him.

I didn’t want him to see that what had just happened between us had me rattled. It would show a weakness I knew he would exploit to his advantage.

“What?” I asked, feeling irritated.

“We still need to discuss your security.”

This time, I turned to face him. “Is that really necessary? This place is like Fort Knox.”

Never mind all the security, like the guards and dogs, I knew there was surveillance and hidden passages. What next laser alarms like in the spy movies?

“Fort Knox?”

“This place has hidden passages, Angel.” I pointed to the bookcase that opened the secret passageway I had used to escape the day before.

He gave a slight nod. “I’m more worried about your safety when you leave the property. You’ll have a designated bodyguard and I’ll get my head of security to run you through our security measures in house and on the property.”

“It sounds like a lot,” I murmured, feeling a little overwhelmed. Was he expecting the Vincents to retaliate? I wasn’t brave enough to ask him for fear of the answer. I was already having sleepless nights. The less I knew, the better at this point.

“There is always going to be some level of danger for my wife. It’s not to say you’re in any imminent danger, but I want to be careful.” His tone was calm and his words measured.

Him referring to me as his wife was the strangest thing and for a moment; I felt like I was in alternate reality.

I held the door handle tighter. “You’re not just saying that, so you don’t freak me out?”

I had a feeling he wasn’t telling me everything, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to hear it all. Having talked myself into a marriage with him to save myself, I didn’t want to talk myself out of because of fear. Last night had been a restless night of dark figures after me in my nightmares.

What if it became too much? What if I wasn’t strong enough for this? This life wasn’t for the fainthearted. Did I have it in me to survive it? It’s not like I had a lot of choices. This was the only way to keep me safe.

“I meant what I said to Kaiden. I will protect you. You never have to doubt that.” The fierceness in his eyes took my breath away.

With a brief nod, I opened the door and left. I walked straight upstairs to my room hoping no noticed how skew my shirt was. Could they tell what had happened? I hurried to my bedroom and shut the door.

Leaning against the door, I expelled a breath. Sex with Angel. I closed my eyes briefly. Images of his mouth on mine, his hands on me everywhere. I swallowed. I felt hot all over again just remembering it. Putting my hand to my forehead, I tried to collect my thoughts.

The feel of his mouth on mine. My fingers traced my lips. His bold touch was all over me. Never after that night he had sent me fleeing from his room, heart broken, did I believe it would ever happen. And now that it had, I didn’t know how it made me feel.

I knew the logistics of it but the emotion it attired wasn’t something I had been prepared for. Angel had lifted me to heights I had never experienced, and I already craved it again.

I didn’t like the power he had over me. I saw it as a weakness that I couldn’t allow him to use against me.

It was only a little later in the shower as I lathered my body did it finally dawn on me. We had used no protection and what that meant.

A pregnancy. The thought blew my mind, and that scared me more than the Vincents or Angel.