“How can you be sure?” I asked, not quite believing him. Everything had happened so fast my mind was still trying to piece everything together.

He was dressed in sweats and a shirt. It was disarming to see him like this, it made him look younger and more approachable. His hair was still wet.

“I’m sure.”

“I don’t trust you remember. Why would I believe you?” I crossed my arms and studied him resentfully.

He had lied about many things, was he above lying to me to stop myself from feeling responsible for the death of another, even if it had been accidental?

“Do you understand the severity of what you just tried to do?” The usual calm was gone, his voice was stern and angry. His eyes sparked with fury.

I bit my lip. “I do.” I had gone there with the intention of ending the man’s life. Even if he was telling the truth and my bullet hadn’t killed him, I wasn’t innocent. Not by a long shot.

Our eyes held. He pulled a hand through his hair. “I don’t even know this side of you Kira.”

Silence hung between us.

“It’s the side of me that’s tired of seeing the unfairness in the world where a good man died.” I let out an emotional breath. “I knew exactly what I was doing Angel. This wasn’t some hysterical moment I can brush off as a momentary lapse in judgement.” I shrugged. “If you hadn’t interrupted I would have shot him. And you know what?”

“What?”

“I wouldn’t have regretted it. I remembered what he did to Bruno and that was enough for me.” I held his intense gaze.

He studied me. I wouldn’t allow my gaze to falter his. “That night wasn’t easy for any of us. Don’t think for a second that revenge isn’t on our minds but we wanted the person who gave the order. Not just the person who carried it out.”

I had never considered that.

I shook my head. “I wasn’t going to let him get away with it.” In my mind, he pulled the trigger, he was the one who had to repay the debt.

“He wasn’t going to get away with it but now we have no way of figuring out who ordered it.” He gave a frustrated sigh. “You should never have witnessed what happened to Bruno. I should have shielded you from that.”

“You can’t shield me from everything Angel.” He just didn’t seem to get that he couldn’t protect me from everything.

His jaw twitched. “I can’t seem to shield you from your own rash actions.”

I frowned. “So if you deal with a problem you’re considered ruthless but if I did the same I’m just some hysterical woman?”

“It’s control that separates the two. Emotions control you Kira, cold hard facts control mine.”

He was the most annoying man I had ever met. Would he ever see me as an equal, not something to protect but someone to standby?

“You keep a lot of things from me Angel and it makes me wonder what else you haven’t told me?” I eyed him suspiciously.

“I was trying to protect you.”

Like that gave him a pass to do whatever he liked. It wasn’t okay, and he had to understand that.

“I knew how fond you were of him and how the events of that night affected you. Was it so wrong of me to try and keep that pain from you for a little while?”

“You lied to me Angel.” I put my hand to my chest. “You wouldn’t even tell me that my life was in danger before you sent me away. This can’t go on. You can’t keep doing this. Instead of protecting me, you’re making things worse.”

He studied me. Silence hung between us.

“You lied to me when you told me Bruno would be fine.” Images of the chaotic scene came to mind, unsettling me.

He shook his head. “At the time, that had been the truth.”

“I don’t understand,” I crossed my arms, resistant to any excuse he was going to come up with.

“He bled out later that night.” He raked his hand through his hair. It was the first time I saw a chink in his impenetrable armor. The affect of losing someone close. It was a reminder he was human and not made of stone.

My heart ached at that revelation. He was always so together it was sometimes difficult to think he could feel like everyone else. He was human.

“You might have not actively lied, but keeping the truth from me and that’s just as bad.” I let out a shaky breath. Despite feeling for him, I was still angry. “Here I was wondering when he would be back at work and all that time he was…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence. My chest contracted with grief and I held my breath for a moment before it passed.

I turned my back to him. My emotions were so charged I exhaled, trying to rid me of the pressure building up inside my chest.

I felt his hands rest on my shoulders. “When I keep things from you, it’s not to be deceitful or done with ill intent.”

I closed my eyes briefly, feeling the heat from his touch. He had a way of calming the storm inside of me and for a few moments I allowed it before I pulled away, turning back to face him.

“No. You keeping doing that and I won’t allow you to continue to feel you can. No more Angel. Do you understand? No, more keeping anything from me. If this marriage has any chance I have to know that I can trust you because without it we have nothing.” I expelled my emotions in my words, hoping they would reach a part of him and allow him to understand how important this was.

He pressed his lips into a tight line.

“Tell me I can trust you, tell me you won’t lie or keep things from me to protect me?” I pleaded with him.

“In our world I can’t share everything. You have to have deniability.”

I frowned. Why did everything with him have to be so complicated?

“Tonight, I’m going to sleep in my room,” I told him, daring him to argue with me. “And tomorrow I’m going to visit Bruno’s grave and pay my respects like I should have been able to do at this funeral.”

“I’m not going to allow you to drive a wedge between us Kira. I did what I thought was right and I’m not going to allow you to draw this out and make a bigger deal out of it than it needs to be.” He gave me a determined glare.

“I don’t want to be around you tonight.” I wasn’t going to give in.

“I don’t care Kira. The only bed you are going to sleep in is mine. Do you understand?”

I glared at him and crossed my arms. “Do you want me to end up hating you? Is that your goal? Because if it is you’re getting there.”

Why did everything with him have to be a battle of wills?

“I’m not a total tyrant Kira. After today I don’t want to leave you on your own and tomorrow Jack will take you to see Bruno.” The steeliness in his voice only moments ago had softened.

“Be careful Angel, you almost sound like you care and you wouldn’t want me to misconstrue that as something else and fall hopelessly in love with you.” I wanted to make him uncomfortable so he would just let me get my way. The last thing he wanted was for me to develop serious feelings for him.

“I’ll take that chance.” He didn’t react how I had expected.

Feeling tired, I turned my back to him. At least I could go and visit Bruno to bring some sort of closure to what had happened.

I didn’t feel for the man James shot. He had deserved it so I would never give him a second thought. My shoulders slumped, feeling my energy drain.

I rubbed my forehead.

“I can order food for the room,” Angel offered.

I shook my head. “I’m not hungry.”

I walked over to the wardrobe and changed into some sleep shorts and a top. Angel watched as I climbed into the bed and lay down on my side with my back to him.

Just because I was going to stay in his room didn’t mean I had to like it and I was determined to show him just home much I resented it.

My mind was cycling through earlier events and then I remembered what Angel had said when he had tried to talk me out of shooting the prisoner.

“Was what you said tonight true?”

I felt the bed dip beside me as he got in.

“About that night I tried to seduce you.”

He sighed but remained silent.

“Were you just saying that to distract me?” I felt weak for asking but I had to know.

“Is it something that really matters now?”

Why was he so reluctant to answer the question?

“I need the truth Angel. I need to be able to trust you.”

There were several moments of silence.

“It was the truth.”

His statement rippled through my past, changing my perspective from the unwanted advance of an immature teenager to something else entirely, I just couldn’t put a word to it yet.

He had wanted me.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked, finding it mind blowing.

“You were sixteen Kira. I was eighteen.” He brushed it off. “I wasn’t going to mess with someone too young to understand the difference between love and lust.”

His words hurt me, again it felt like he was shining a light on my naivety. But his words eased the pain of being rejected because at the time I had believed he hadn’t found me attractive. The experience had dented my confidence which had never completely recovered.

“So that’s why you never slept with me? You were scared I was going to fall in love with you.” I understood his reasoning, even if it hurt just as much as he had the day it happened.

At sixteen I had been naive to believe he would love me. Boy had I been wrong. Even now, I didn’t believe he was capable of loving anyone. He cared, he protected but he didn’t love. It was who he was. I didn’t know why he was like that.

“But now I’m going to be your wife,” I murmured. There wasn’t a bigger commitment than that but he still didn’t love me. I made a point of moving closer to reach out and touch the neckline of his shirt with a finger and trail it down his chest to his waist.

Only moments ago I had really hated him and now I only felt the heat between us. The way his eyes dropped to my finger before they lifted to mine.

“At least now I know the difference between sex and love,” I said, determined to show I could use him purely in a sexual and need nothing else from him.

I had heard angry sex was the most intense and I wanted to try it out.

“You do,” he whispered as I neared him. My lips a breath away from his.

“I want…” I licked my lips.

“What do you want?” His voice deep and I was transfixed.

“I want you to fuck me.” I wanted to be sure he knew exactly what this was going to be. It was purely physical without emotions or feelings. And after I would be the one to walk away.

I was mature enough to deal with him now and keep him at arms length when it came to feeling anything for him. After everything that had happened I was still angry but I wanted him a way I had never felt before. It was impossible to resist.

I moved to straddle him, his hands went to my waist. My hands went to his chest. I was in control, it was something new but I loved the power I held over him. His eyes fixed on my lips.

I allowed my lips to brush his softly. His hands tightened on me. My hands rested on his shoulders as I brushed his lips with mine again, enjoying the role of the instigator while he seemed to sit back and allow me to take the lead.

As I pulled away our eyes met. I wanted him. This time when I kissed him, I deepened the kiss. Tasting him.

Heat pooled between my legs and I moved my hips slightly feeling his arousal grow. It was like a game of seduction. My mouth worked against his while our bodies grew heated. I groaned slightly against his lips. All I could think of at that moment was him deep inside me.

It was then I thought momentarily to what it would have been like to sleep with him when I had propositioned him at the age of sixteen. There was no doubt he would have rocked my world then like he had now.

He knew his way around a woman’s body. I didn’t want to think about all the woman before me, like the blonde I had seen him meet up with. All I wanted to do was concentrate on how he made me feel, and how my body burned for him.

I lifted my shirt and discarded it. His one hand lifted from my waist to cup one breast gently before squeezing my nipple with his fingers. I closed my eyes and rode out the sensation.

He shifted me to lay me down in the bed and he took a sensitive tip into his mouth and gently sucked. My hands raked into his hair, loving the way the sensation ripples through me. Then he moved to do the same with the other sensitive tip. Each time, causing the same sensation, intensifying the ache between my legs. He moved to slide my sleep shorts from my hips before removing them completely.

I watched as I removed his boxers. He reached for a condom and slid it down his hard length. I bit my bottom lip gently as I anticipated him filling me. I wanted him so bad.

“Come here,” he instructed and I followed his command.

I straddled him, allowing my mouth to fuse with his. His arms wrapped around me, my arms curling around his neck. Our bodies lined up in the most intimate way, his tip against my heat.

Agonizingly slow, I sank down into him. Him filling me up inch by inch. He released his hold slowly. Our eyes meeting. My hands went to his shoulders as his entire length filled me.

He allowed me to take control, setting the pace at which I lifted and sank onto him. His hands pressing into my hips. I loved to watched the control I could exert over him with the use of my body. The way his eyes glazed over each time I joined our bodies. His tongue swept against mine, my breasts crushed against his chest as his hands lifted to hug me close.

All I could concentrate on was the sensation each thrust of him into my body rippled through me. Each time, needing it harder, needing it faster.

I increased the tempo and panted feeling closer to coming but not quite there. He kissed my neck and I arched into him. His fingers tweaked a nipple and I felt a growing tingle. It was like he knew exactly how to play my body to illicit every passionate response. His other hand moved to touch my sensitive clit while I continued to move up and down. Intent on reaching the orgasm that was so close.

“Come for me,” he said gently as he moved is finger against my sensitive part.

“I’m …” I didn’t want to distract myself form anything other than reaching my goal.

And then I peaked, slowing down to allow it to shudder through me. I gasped as I rode him through it, the sensitivity heightening the pleasure.

Angel held me as he lay me, with our bodies still joined. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he thrust into me. My nails scrapped against his back as he drove into me and then his body stopped and he groaned. I held him as he came. Our sweat intermingled, our bodies spent.

I was trying to catch my breath as he kissed my collar bone and moved off me to get rid of the condom.

I lay staring at the ceiling. Only tearing my gaze to his when he rejoined me in bed. He lay in his back. Our bodies didn’t touch.

“You really know your way around a women’s body,” I said, unsure of what his response would be.

“I have experience.” His response left me wanting.

It wasn’t like I was asking for a rundown of his past sexual experiences. But I was curious about some things. Like when he lost his virginity, more innocent questions like that.

“How did you lose your virginity?” I asked. I felt it was a better way to satisfy my curiosity.

He continued to stare straight ahead and I wondered if he was actually going to answer my question.

“You really want to know Kira?” He turned his head to look at me.

My curiosity grew. “Yes.”

“My father paid a prostitute to show me a good time.”

That was the last thing I expected to hear.

“A prostitute?” I questioned.

He nodded.

I don’t know why I had it in my mind that he would lose it with someone he cared about and not just some random hooker his father paid for.

“My father groomed me from a young age for this life Kira. Sex was something for physical gratification, not emotional connections.”

I was stunned. I was slowly beginning to understand what made him tick and why he was the way he was.

When Angel’s father had first gotten sick, Angel had just stepped in. And with each day his father deteriorated, he had taken more responsibility. A year later, his father had died and at the age of twenty one Angel and stepped into his father’s shoes taking control of his empire.

He had hardened over the years, becoming ruthless and controlled.

Never one had it crossed my mind that if he hadn’t, he wouldn’t have survived.

In our world, weakness was death.