I readjusted the pillow. The pillow was uncomfortable, I felt too hot and no matter what I couldn’t fall asleep. I closed my eyes and slowed my breathing, determined to fall asleep so I wouldn’t be dead on my feet when I had to meet with James. It was eleven already and at this rate I was going to tired and grumpy.

Squeezing my eyes closed, I tried to think about anything other than the two girls I had searched on the web but every time I closed my eyes all I could see was their pictures from the news articles and their screams in the background.

With a frustrated groan, I sat up in bed. What was I going to do? This was clearly not working and I would have to try something else. I could head downstairs and get some milk but I wasn’t convinced it would work, not after the day I’d had. I could always do some exercise and tire myself out. It was probably a better than idea than the milk.

I found some shorts and a small top. It would have to do. I went downstairs to the gym which was a couple of rooms passed Angel’s study. It didn’t surprise me that his light was still on.

It was a state of the art gym. There was every kind of exercise machine you could think of but running was my thing when I needed to clear my mind. I started off slow and started to pick up my pace. I wasn’t one of those people who were fitness fanatics or into regular exercise. When I needed to clear my mind or get rid of unnecessary stress it usually help although I didn’t think anything would rid my mind of the details of what was keeping me up.

I tried to concentrate on maintaining my speed, trying to keep my breath even as the perspiration trickled down my face. I ran until my top was nearly completely saturated in sweat. When I stopped the machine I got off and bent over my hands on my hips trying to catch my breath.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in the gym before,” a deep voice drawled behind me, taking me by surprise.

I put my hand to my heart as I turned to face Angel leaning against the doorframe watching me. The way he was looking at me, made me feel like I was naked even when I was fully clothed.

“I couldn’t…sleep.” I managed to get out. I hated to admit I struggling to sleep and I didn’t want him to ask me why.

He looked devastatingly handsome while I on the other hand was sweaty, my face red.

“We have a busy day tomorrow. You should get some sleep, you’re going to need to be at your best.”

My chest rose and fell with each heavy breath and I wiped the sweat from my forehead with a towel.

“Why? What am I doing tomorrow?” I asked. Other than the standing appointment I had with James at four in the morning I didn’t have anything planned.

“We have to set a date for the wedding, we need to put a guest list together, you know all those type of things. You need to look for a dress, flowers, cakes.”

“Can’t we just get someone to do it for us?” I asked, not wanting to have to deal with all that stuff on my own. This wasn’t exactly a love match and it felt more like a prison sentence, it wasn’t something I was looking forward to or wanted to celebrate. All of it would be for show, with no substance to it.

“A wedding planner helps with the planning of the wedding, we still have to make all the final decisions.”

There was no getting out of this. And I was too tired to care.

“I thought all women loved shopping for wedding dresses.”

I shrugged. “Not me, I could care less. Dress me up in garbage bag for all I care.”

If the situation was different I probably would have been a typical woman getting excited to declare my love for the man I was going to spend my life with. The truth was I was marrying a crime boss, who was marrying me to protect me. That was it. There was no love, we could barely stand each other.

“Why can’t you sleep?” He changed the subject back to our original topic and it annoyed me. He always seemed to be able to hone in on things I wanted to avoid. It was his secret gift when I had to deal with him.

“I just can’t.” If I told him the real reason, it would only confirm his already weak view of me. In some ways I was feeling like I was too sensitive to survive in a world I had believed I could handle. As I was delving deeper into it, I was learning I was not built to deal with all the things I would have to. I didn’t know what that meant for my future but I tried not to think about it.

I would have to find a way to toughen up. It was the reason I was getting up so early in the morning to accommodate James’ schedule. Toughening up my physical side was proving to be much easier then my mental state.

His eyes swept over me. “You know there are other ways of relieving tension.” His voice graveled as his eyes lifted back to mine.

I knew exactly what he was suggesting. I swallowed, trying to rid myself of images of our naked bodies moving together.

“I could make you forget everything for a short while.” His eyes darkened as they held mine and I bit my lip. My mind was running crazy with every innuendo.

I wanted him, there was no question about that but what scared me was how much I was starting to feel for him. The more my feelings grew, the weaker I would become where he was concerned and to protect myself I had to figure a way to hold my own against him otherwise my mother’s fate would be mine.

“Is that what you want Angel?” I asked, just above a whisper, knowing I was playing a dangerous game. He had much more experience than I did so I was up against someone who knew how to play this game better than I did but I wasn’t going to back down. It wasn’t who I was.

“Maybe you should call that blonde you had lunch with? Maybe she can scratch your itch.” It still bugged me. I needed him to tell me that it wasn’t what I thought it was.

“You’re jealous but you have no need to be. If I’m fucking you, there isn’t anyone else.”

He moved to stand right in front of me and I lifted my chin to hold his gaze. “I want you.” His words washed over me with warmth.

My throat felt dry again and I swallowed. I felt way out of my depth. The closeness of him scrambled my thoughts and all I could concentrate on was how close his lips were to mine. I knew how they felt against mine.

“I don’t…think…” I couldn’t seem to finish my sentence. The words disappeared.

“Don’t think,” he said softly. His eyes dropped to my mouth. He wanted to kiss me.

I wet my lips nervously, hanging onto the little control that had stopped me from lifting myself onto my tiptoes and sealing my mouth to his.

His finger went to my chest and trailed slowly down to between my breasts. My skin burned under the slight touch. “I know you want me Kira. I can see it in your eyes. And make no mistake, I want you just as much. There should be no reason to stop what is about to happen.”

I dropped the towel I was holding and curled my hands into fist to stop myself from reaching out to touch him, no matter how badly I wanted to.

He lifted the finger to lift my chin. His mouth a breath from mine. So close. I closed my eyes and felt his breath on my lips.

“But you have to make the first move Kira. If you want this you have to tell me.”

Why couldn’t he just kiss me? Why did I have to make the first move? Was this a control thing?

It was becoming more difficult to remember all the reasons not to give in. Slowly, I opened my eyes as his head dipped and I felt his warm breath against my neck. It was the most erotic thing I had ever felt and he wasn’t even touching me. Heat pooled between my legs and any restraint I had mustered evaporated, leaving me a mess of hormones and want.

I arched my neck and his breath moved slowly until it hit the sensitivity of my ear. He blew slowly and closed my eyes. My hands moved to hold onto him, I grasped his shirt and held onto him.

“Tell me you want this Kira,” he whispered daringly into my ear.

“Touch me.” The words tumbled out before I even realized what I had done but I was even too far gone to care. I would have made a deal with the devil to have him right then.

“Where do you want me to touch you?” His mouth moved above mine.

“Everywhere.”

And I gave in, there was no more resistance.

“This time it’s going to happen in a bedroom,” Angel said as his mouth covered mine. His hands gripped my waist and hoisted me up. Surprised, I wrapped my legs around him as my arms went around his neck, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss.

He could have taken me to hell and I would have gone willing in that moment. I was vaguely aware of him climbing the stars and going into bedroom before kicking the door closed. He eased me down on to my feet and when his mouth broke from mine I was still breathless from his kiss and my knees trembled.

“Show me,” his voice was velvet.

“Show you?” I asked, unsure of what he meant.

“Show me where you want me to touch you.” His eyes were dark and stormy.

“Here,” I touched the junction between my legs where it ached.

“Take off your clothes Kira,” he commanded.

I began to lift my shirt.

“Strip like you did in the club.”

I bit my lip nervously. It was easier for me to strip in front of strangers than him, I wasn’t sure I could do this. His bold stare made me nervous.

“If you’re uncomfortable we stop.” He gave me an out, it was there for me to take it.

All I had to do was stop but I didn’t. I wanted him.

Nervously I approached him and took his hand in mine to I lead him to the bed where he sat down on the edge. I lowered myself onto my knees in between his open legs before I pulled myself up slowly gliding my body up against his until my lips were almost on his. I allowed my breath to tickle his face as I cradled his face. And just as I was about to kiss him, his lips moving closer I pushed away from him. Putting space between us I took a step back.

My hands went to my hips. His eyes followed every action. I swayed my hips suggestively under his intense stare and I pushed the waistband of the shorts down one hip and then the other. Then I slid it down my thighs watching Angel’s expression as I took them off. The tell tale sign of strain was in the twitch in his jaw. Any nervousness I had felt earlier was relaxed with the confidence that he wanted me and what I was doing was working. It gave me a confidence I had never had before.

I stepped out of the shorts and moved closer leaning forward as I rested my hands on his thighs. Bringing my cleavage closer to his face. I put my legs on either side of his closed legs and put my arms around his neck moving my hips against his waist. His hands rested loosely on my hips. I swatted his hands away.

“No touching.” I spoke against his ear. I liked being in control and I found it turned me on.

“Touch yourself,” he whispered.

I lifted myself up slightly so I could slide my hand into my cotton briefs. I slid a finger into my slick folds. “I’m so wet.”

I slid a finger inside of myself slowly as he swallowed while he watched.

Then I lifted the finger to my mouth and sucked.

“How do you taste?” His voice was husky, his eyes fixed on my mouth.

“Sweet.”

I reached for the bottom of my shirt and pulled it above my head revealing a sports bra. I let the top fall to the floor. Playing this type of game made me feel like I was more in control. I could control him in a way I had never been able to and the feeling was exhilarating.

I lowered myself to his lap. There was no hiding his arousal. I rubbed against it as I lowered my mouth to his ear, my breath hot against his ear.

Then I lift the sports bra up and off, dropping the item to the floor. The sensitive tips of my breasts brushed against his shirt. His hands gripped the bed cover, like he was trying to stop himself from touching me.

Then I moved to stand. I slid my cotton briefs from one hip and then the other watching has Angel’s eyes followed each action.

I moved slowly closer and just as I reached him and sat with either leg on his lap his arms moved to wrap around me as his lips covered mine. He kissed me so hard, his tongue against mine. And then he maneuvered me so I was on my back on the bed, him above me.

“I need to taste you.”

I had a moment of nervousness as he slid a trail of kisses from my lips, down between my breasts to my navel. And when he kissed the inside of my thigh my hands went this head and slid into his hair. I had never done anything like this before but I wanted, no needed, him to touch me there.

The first time his tongue slid up my sex I lifted my hips off the bed. His hands held me in place as he darted his tongue inside of me mimicking the action of fucking before closing his mouth over the sensitive part of my clit and sucking gently.

I gasped as he repeated the action again and again. The only thing that mattered was how each touch brought me closer and closer to the edge. My body tightened, his finger pumped as his mouth sucked and then I tumbled into an orgasm. My fingers tightened in his hair as my body spasmed. I shuddered feeling a warmth spread through me.

I lay satisfied as I watched him move off the bed to undress. The sight of his long veined arousal made me nervous. He was big. How on Earth had he fit before? I had a moment of trepidation and nervousness.

He moved above me keeping his body from touching mine while he kissed me. I cradled his face as opened my mouth and his tongue slid against mine. He reached for something beside his bed and I saw the foil packet. It was protection. He tore it open and put it on before he lowered him body to mine. His arousal between my legs, my legs tightened nervously against his hips.

“You are so wet for me,” he said against my ear. His words made me tremble, my body responded to his words. He had the power to make my body do things it had never done before. The tip of his cock nudged my slick folds.

“Are you ready for me?” His voice was hoarse and see the strain of restraint in the line of his jaw.

“Take me,” I breathed. The last time he had been inside me it had momentarily been painful so I held my breath, unsure of what to expect this time but I still wanted this to happen. There was no way I was stopping it now.

His eyes held mine, he pressed into me. Gently lowering the weight of his body to move further into me. My mouth opened as I felt the fullness of him as he inched into me, agonizingly slowly. My hands went to his shoulders, digging my nails into his skin. His skin was warm against my touch. His eyes held mine while he sheathed his entire length into me and gave me a moment to adjust to him before he began to move. There had been no pain and I let go of the breath I had been holding.

Just like before I could feel an ache and as he moved, deeper and faster. His lips brushed mine and I lifted mine to kiss him. My hands moved down his back as he fucked me. It was the most erotic thing I had ever experienced and it was him who made me a frenzy of hormones, only wanting him.

I panted as he fucked me, lifting my hips to meet every thrust. The muscles of his body moved with only one goal in mind and reveled in the force he hammered into me. His hand went to my breast and just as I felt myself peak his mouth closed over a tip and he sucked it hard. I cried out as I came, arching into him and he strained against me. Only moments later he stiffened and grunted. The weight of his body on mine still cocooned me in our own little bubble of bliss where none of the reality could penetrate.

He kissed my neck as he tried to catch his breath. Leaning his head against my collar bone, I held him trying to catch my own. I was still trying to come to terms with the intensity of what had just happened between us when he lifted himself from me, leaving me cold.

“I’m going to shower,” he said. I watched him walk away confident in his nakedness to his ensuite bathroom. The door closed behind him.

The warmth I had just felt moments ago turned cold. There was no cuddling, no intimacy other than the act of sex. My earlier euphoria evaporated and I was left feeling like I had been used.