“You’re remembering, aren’t you?” Damien’s voice broke through the memories to jar me from the suffocating emotions. His voice was filled with awe and hope.

I swallowed and shook my head, lying to him. I didn’t want to give anything away as I knew it was something he would try use to get what he wanted.

“You don’t have to deal with it Tessa. Just the say the word and it will all be over.” He moved closer and I held my breath trying to suffocate the grief that rose up in me. “I can stop this.”

In that moment it would be easy to ask him to make it stop, to not feel the grief of losing people I loved in such a tragic situation. I had been the only one to survive.

His finger touched my chest. “The pain is too much. I can take it all way.”

Our eyes held. My heart felt broken.

I couldn’t speak but I shook my head. Even after all these years it was still too much to deal with. I had been offered therapy but I kept away from people. It was easier to deal with Damien without an audience. It was difficult to explain my behaviour if Damien caught me off guard. There was nothing like talking to thin air for people to think I was crazy. It had happened more times than I could count. Damien got a kick of it and tried his best to catch me in scenarios when I wasn’t paying attention to make me look like I wasn’t stable.

It was just easier to deal with him if I was on my own without anyone to see something I couldn’t explain. I spent a lot of time on my own at home as well. My grandmother had tried her best to step in as a mother and father but it was just easier to keep my distance for fear of what she would see and question.

The last thing I wanted to do was end up in a mental institute where they treated crazy people, doped up too much to know what I was doing.

Maybe there was something wrong with me. I don’t know why I had come back to life after being clinically dead for more than twenty minutes. And the fact that I could see Damien, who was a demon who had been sent from hell to collect my soul. And the fact I could see ghosts really did make me a prime example of an unstable person.

The first few months had been traumatizing until I had figured things out. Like Damien’s motive and the reason I could see the dead walking among the living.

Who could see the things I did and remain normal never mind stable? If anyone knew what I really could see, would put me away in a white padded room and Damien would win.

“Let me take the pain away Tessa,” Damien persisted, his tone soft and filled with concern but I knew better than to trust anything he said at face value. “I can help you.”

His voice was velvety, like he was trying to draw me in to convince that he held the key to right all the wrongs in my life. But I knew it was lies. He was a demon, he would use whatever he could, truth and lies to get what he wanted.

I let out an emotional breath and pushed his hand away from me. “Stop Damien.”

He growled. “Why are you so determined to live this miserable life? What are you living for anyway?”

I stopped mid way to my bedroom door but I didn’t turn to face him. I was afraid I was feeling too vulnerable to resist his reasoning. He could be very persistent and convincing.

“You’re not happy, I can’t remember the last time you smiled. You’re always on guard, sad and trying to get through each day like it’s taking everything you have. What kind of life is that?”

I closed my eyes and took a breath as he spoke the truth and it made me question was I was so determined to hold on.

“I can reunite you with them. You won’t ever have to mourn another day without them.”

He was pulling out the big guns now. I couldn’t move. I held still, fighting the urge to give in and stop the pain. In my mind there was a picture of my mother laughing while holding my older sister. My father was in the background, dark and foreboding.

I was missing from that memory, I was still here.

“I can give you peace Tessa. Just the give me the word and you won’t shed another tear. I have the power to reunite you with them. You will be able to tell them how you love them and you’ll get to hold the close. You will have the people you love again.”

He had moved closer, I could feel his presence right behind me.

“Why would I trust you? I don’t know what happened and I certainly don’t trust you to tell me the truth. You’re only going to tell me what you think will make me do what you want.”

A heavy tense silence

“And then what?” I asked, finally gathering the courage to face him.

He kept silent.

“I get to burn in hell for the rest of the eternity,” I shot back. “How does that sound like a better option?”

He frowned. “It’s where you belong. You can argue whatever you like Tessa, but it was your choice that sent your soul to hell. No one did that for you.”

I couldn’t remember everything from the day. Only snippets, not enough to know what I had done to seal my fate. I couldn’t believe that I could have done anything to justify it. It wasn’t possible. But unless I could remember exactly what happened I had no way of trying to fix it. Although I wasn’t sure he could be swayed. He was on a mission and there was very little I believed I could do to dissuade him from it.

And I hadn’t fought him for the last seven years to just give in meekly now, no matter how difficult I found every day.

“Tell me what happened Damien?” I fought back. It was something he refused to tell me and I often wondered if he even knew what had led to my death.

He firmly pressed his mouth into a tight line and refused to say anything further.

“Thought so,” I murmured.

There was a part of me that believed if he had any idea he would use it to crush me into submission. The fact that he had never used to made me sure he didn’t know.

“Tessa,” my grandmother called from downstairs.

“If you can’t do it for yourself Tessa, think about your grandmother.” He was trying a new angle. “She has moved countless times because of you. Do you think a woman in her mid sixties isn’t tired of all of this? Doesn’t she deserve some peace?”

I shook my head. If I left her, it would break her all over again. It had been bad enough to lose her daughter and granddaughter. She couldn’t lose me as well, her last living family member. We only had each other and I knew if anything happened to me it would break her. I couldn’t let that happen, no matter how tired I got. No matter how hopeless things felt, I kept going because of her.

I had been the light in the darkness when she had lost so much.

“I do this because of her,” I shot back to him. “This conversation is over Damien.”

The darkness surrounded me in seconds and I could feel the thickness of it suffocate my breath. Damien was in front of me, his eyes pools of darkness. The veins in face protruded, showing the black blood that ran through his veins.

He was angry but I knew there was nothing he could do other than try to scare me. It didn’t work anymore. When he had first tried this it had scared me beyond words. But I knew better now.

“This must be taking a lot of energy Damien,” I teased. “Maybe you should rest.”

And with that I left the room, slamming the door behind me. Knowing full well that the physical barrier wouldn’t stop him from following me.